Rejected Rosebud Posted June 24, 2015 Share Posted June 24, 2015 sadly were I am from the PNW white woman will give you the whole I can do it myself attitude a lot of the times. I'm a white woman in Oregon and I can do alot of things myself for sure, like use a chainsaw and drive the tractor, and STILL I love it when I'm treated like I'm special by my bf. I will let him drive the tractor, too, because he loves it more than I do!! Link to post Share on other sites
jen1447 Posted June 24, 2015 Share Posted June 24, 2015 Only if it an old lady or the person is right behind me than I will hold the door but if the person far enough away I will not. Ok so you do hold doors. Now I'm confused. Link to post Share on other sites
Krieger Posted June 24, 2015 Share Posted June 24, 2015 Ok so you do hold doors. Now I'm confused. I only do it for old people and if the person is right behind me. If the man or woman is a far enough away the door will not slam in there face I will hold the door. I also do not go to far out of my way to be nice to woman what the point ? Link to post Share on other sites
Krieger Posted June 24, 2015 Share Posted June 24, 2015 I'm a white woman in Oregon and I can do alot of things myself for sure, like use a chainsaw and drive the tractor, and STILL I love it when I'm treated like I'm special by my bf. I will let him drive the tractor, too, because he loves it more than I do!! That is way different he is dating you if I had a GF i would do the same. Link to post Share on other sites
Krieger Posted June 24, 2015 Share Posted June 24, 2015 I can probably afford a number of kids but if I ever do become a father I want to be there in the child's life and actually be a father and do it with one woman. Supporting them is important but it is only a small part of fatherhood. I do not make any money living in poverty so having children right now would be selfish and irresponsible. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted June 24, 2015 Share Posted June 24, 2015 How did a discussion re chivalry turn into a rant about these "POS" women who have kids by different fathers??? Or is this just an excuse to bash women in general under the the banner of hating on single mothers? When holding open doors I do not tend to do a quick scan of the man's morals first - but perhaps I need to bear that mind. Looks like an adulterer - looks like an absent father - looks like a loser -> door slammed in face... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
jen1447 Posted June 24, 2015 Share Posted June 24, 2015 I only do it for old people and if the person is right behind me. If the man or woman is a far enough away the door will not slam in there face I will hold the door. So you'll bscly go only as far as any reasonable person would expect anyway. I'm just wondering why you contradicted yourself. Woman want to be equal they can do it themselves now days. I am am chivalry with woman i date or sleep with other than that woman are on there own. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Krieger Posted June 24, 2015 Share Posted June 24, 2015 When holding open doors I do not tend to do a quick scan of the man's morals first - but perhaps I need to bear that mind. Looks like an adulterer - looks like an absent father - looks like a loser -> door slammed in face... I just do not go out of my way to hold doors for people unless there an elderly person. Other than that there on there own and it is you vs the world out there . Link to post Share on other sites
Maleficent Posted June 24, 2015 Share Posted June 24, 2015 Yea i agree but I smart enough to know right now I can only afford one child so I would not be running around trying to make more children I cant help pay for. Single mothers that keep on having kids they know dam well that cant afford are POS IMO . Why would you have more kids if you all ready have 2 why keep on having children with men that are not crap? That is not for you to judge. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Krieger Posted June 24, 2015 Share Posted June 24, 2015 So you'll bscly go only as far as any reasonable person would expect anyway. I'm just wondering why you contradicted yourself. Well I am not that much of an A-hole but when people say thank you I just say do not tell anyone do not want people to think I too nice now. Link to post Share on other sites
jen1447 Posted June 24, 2015 Share Posted June 24, 2015 So bscly you've copped to being chivalrous. Got it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Krieger Posted June 24, 2015 Share Posted June 24, 2015 That is not for you to judge. Well it is not a big deal seeing that I will not even date 95% of single mothers no thanks. That why woman will not be equal to men when they get told they can have as many kids as they want but men have to pay for them. Link to post Share on other sites
Krieger Posted June 24, 2015 Share Posted June 24, 2015 So bscly you've copped to being chivalrous. Got it. Just as long as the tell no one I do not want people to know I am nice . I rather be seen as a A-hole but deep down a nice person . That is what woman want now days so I just giving them what they want. I am going for the whole that guys an A-hole outside of work but the career i am going to school for requires a person to not be one you will not last. Link to post Share on other sites
toolforgrowth Posted June 24, 2015 Share Posted June 24, 2015 That is not for you to judge. The behavior is still questionable. We don't know if the fathers are paying child support or not. Regardless, single mothers are still the largest group on public assistance, even if child support is being paid. I don't have an issue with public assistance, but I do find the behavior questionable when one says they are independent and yet still take government handouts. I believe there is merit to the argument that it can breed dependence and a class of people who are subsidized by working tax payers. At what point is a society able to say, "Look, you need to stop having kids and get off the government dole"? Don't interpret that as an attack on all women. Take it for what it is: calling out this individual person for their questionable behavior. Women are like any group of people; some winners, and some losers. This woman sounds like a loser. That's not an indictment of all women as an aggregate, merely an indictment of this particular individual. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Keenly Posted June 24, 2015 Share Posted June 24, 2015 I open building doors for both stranger women and ones I know, car doors for significant others, I try to do the chair pull out thing and all of those. Yes I've had a couple women scowl at me for it, but I'm not going to stop doing what I do. If a woman doesn't appreciate it, then I just tell myself she's a bitch who's clearly having a bad day and I move on with it. My future wife will appreciate it, but in general I don't do it for other people. I do it because my mom would embarrass me if I didn't do all of this. Now I do it so I don't hear her damn voice in my head. Link to post Share on other sites
toolforgrowth Posted June 24, 2015 Share Posted June 24, 2015 I just do not go out of my way to hold doors for people unless there an elderly person. Other than that there on there own and it is you vs the world out there . This is my philosophy. I used to think that "I am my brother's keeper", but life experiences have shown me that the real world doesn't work that way, especially if you're a male. Men get shafted in divorce, have their kids taken away, public assistance is more difficult to attain, and men receive harsher sentences than women for equal crimes. Not to mention men are placed in harm's way in combat far more than women are. Men are disposable in Western society. I have no incentive to go out of my way for others when I myself am viewed as disposable by the very society in which I live. It's me vs. the world. Same rules apply to everyone else. Link to post Share on other sites
jen1447 Posted June 24, 2015 Share Posted June 24, 2015 "It's me vs. the world so I'll only hold the door open for you if you're within 5 meters of me" isn't exactly a bold or decisive statement. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
SerCay Posted June 24, 2015 Share Posted June 24, 2015 I'm sorry OP, you are simply trying too hard. Be yourself and don't THINK about how your actions MUST affect anyone. I for one, think it's very selfish to expect gratitude in return for a gift. Gifts and romantic gestures are done without expectations. I'm sorry that particular girl was a Bizzatch and didn't know the civil response of "thank you", but that doesn't mean it's ok that you expect certain types of behaviour because you do certain types of things. It takes some couples decades to build up routines and to find out what the other likes for a present, and to get used to each other's romanticism or lack there-of. You expect everybody to have the same response? Nah. You sound bitter. Time to start working on your self esteem and to be yourself around everyone. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
toolforgrowth Posted June 24, 2015 Share Posted June 24, 2015 "It's me vs. the world so I'll only hold the door open for you if you're within 5 meters of me" isn't exactly a bold or decisive statement. I never said it was. But in the context of why chivalry is dead, it's relevant. I hold doors for my GF, even my car door when she's getting in. But if I don't know you,co won't go out of my way. Adults are adults and know how to open doors. Link to post Share on other sites
jen1447 Posted June 24, 2015 Share Posted June 24, 2015 And not going out of you way top open the door for someone is what, if not a milquetoast gesture of protest? Anyway I was aiming that mainly at Krieger, who does intend appear to be trying to make a very determined and bold statement by saying so. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
PaperCrane Posted June 24, 2015 Share Posted June 24, 2015 It isn't dead, however the learning how to use it and when to use it has been on the decline. If you do use it and the recipient doesn't approve of it, a simple smile with a remark of acknowledgement is all that's needed. Link to post Share on other sites
toolforgrowth Posted June 24, 2015 Share Posted June 24, 2015 And not going out of you way top open the door for someone is what, if not a milquetoast gesture of protest? In my case, a sign of laziness and apathy. I have to be honest! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SammySammy Posted June 24, 2015 Share Posted June 24, 2015 I live in the southern United States - The South. In general, we are friendly and courteous to each other. I hold the door open for everybody - men, women, boys, girls, young, old, cats, dogs ... everybody. I generally speak to everybody - a hello and casual chit chat - with my only intent to be nice and to leave a smile on somebodies face. The type of daily pleasantries that have long been considered normal in our part of the country. Everybody is generally polite and cordial in return - except women. If I were to guess, it's primarily women from the age 50 and younger who have exhibited outright rudeness and coldness from a simple act of holding a door open or saying hello. I have had women see me hold a door open for an old man in front of her and still get a nasty attitude when I continue to hold it open for her also. Why? Maybe you women can explain it away, but that has been my experience. Link to post Share on other sites
Krieger Posted June 24, 2015 Share Posted June 24, 2015 And not going out of you way top open the door for someone is what, if not a milquetoast gesture of protest? Anyway I was aiming that mainly at Krieger, who does intend appear to be trying to make a very determined and bold statement by saying so. some woman just give you the whole I can do it myself attitude so why go out of my way? It is me vs the world no one cares about me and they want to see me not make it. Link to post Share on other sites
jen1447 Posted June 24, 2015 Share Posted June 24, 2015 some woman just give you the whole I can do it myself attitude so why go out of my way? It is me vs the world no one cares about me and they want to see me not make it. And yet you still hold doors open for people despite this. Link to post Share on other sites
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