please help me please

[dan79]

i am a male 21 years of age and i need some help. this is one of those things that people don't wanna hear about so if you don't like what i have to say, well than i appaligize....

 

well im currently married and in the process of a divorce. that's not what the problem is, my main problem is that i have a really good friend who needs help, in her life and i am doing my best...

 

now the story starts out a very long time ago between me and her. we have known each other for 10years now and we have always been there for each other no matter what...back in high school i always new that she had a crush on me and i had the same feelings for her, well that's not the point of the story right now....

 

but i always knew she was hiding something from me but i never really intruded in on it...but i could tell that she wanted someone to talk about so i let it go until she thought that the time was right....well about a month ago she finally came out and told me.

 

now let me put something else in here before i get to carried away. i always looked at her family as my own family, they accept me more than my own, even her step father which i looked up to as a father..

 

well now back on with the story well she came out to me last month and told me that her step-dad was sexually molesting her.. now im really mad at this guy for doing it, but the plot of this whole mess has thickened more than i thought it would've. he was kind of using me for a reason to get what he wanted out of her, for instance he gave me money so i can go back to school and get my high school diploma, and he never asked me to pay him back, but now i find out that he took my debt out on her.

 

just like a job that he had gotten for me, he did the same thing again. this molestation has been going on for years since she was 8years old....

 

i have never been so betrayed in my entire life, i let him hold my 11 month old daughter, and trusted him with my best friend and thought that he was treating her and her sisters the right way, but i come to find out he has done this to her. i moved away from my home town not just to get away so i wouldn't kill him(literally) and moved closer to her, so he will stop doing that and if i ever caught him here i probly would kill him.....

 

i have so many emotions bottled up inside and i don't want her to know all that i am thinking right now because im concentrating on her and focusing on her, she seems like she doesn't want to go to the police or anything because he has been locked up for the same thing twice in another state...

 

and she doesn't want him to move on to other girls either, i don't know how i can persuade her into calling authorities and trying to get her into counseling...she has gotten to the point of cutting the top of her wrist and things like that, she has thought about killing herself but that's another reason for moving where im at so that way she wouldn't...

 

now i will admit that i am truly and deeply in love with her and i want to help her out in any way i can, she keeps telling me that if she were to talk to a counselor that they would probably put her in a psyciatric ward and i really don't think that would happen if she would just come out more and tell a counselor.....well please someone help me out it's a difficult situation for the both of us and i just need the help that i can get......i know it's nothing really to do with love.......well yea it does because i love her and want to help her through this...so she can start on repairing her life......

 

if anyone knows of anyway of helping please email me at <e-mail address removed>

[Tony T]

Now that you are aware that crimes are being committed, you are obligated by law to report them. You are guilty of obstruction of justice if you do not call police detectives and relate everything you have learned. If you want to start out on the light side, report this to a social agency. However, if she is not a minor, it will be referred to police.

 

You cannot let this go on any further. This girl is being subjected to the cruelest of treatment. You owe it to her as a fellow human being to get this stopped. Do not approach this guy on your own. Let the police handle it.

 

If you are any kind of friend to this girl whatsoever, you will do what is right and proper here. This man does not deserve freedom. I guess he deserves a fair trial.

 

Call the police or sheriff's office now. No further discussion necessary.

[Juds]

I am with Tony all the way.

 

This friend, who is in so much pain, and fear, is not thinking clearly. Since she was a little girl, she has been submissive and frightened of this repulsive man, and her fear of him will overshadow every decision she makes.

 

If you love her as you say, do what is best for her. Report him, and let him face his punishment.

 

She may not be happy about it, but if he is jailed, she will be so relieved to feel safe and secure for the first time in her life.

 

What an horrific experience for her.

 

I think that you should see a counsellor who is trained in these matters. They will provide you with excellent resources, and give you a deeper understanding of what your friend is going through, and what her future fears and problems may be.

 

Give her all the love and support you can muster up, but don't let him walk. He deserves to be put away.

[dan79]

i am a male 21 years of age and i need some help. this is one of those things that people don't wanna hear about so if you don't like what i have to say, well than i appaligize.... well im currently married and in the process of a divorce. that's not what the problem is, my main problem is that i have a really good friend who needs help, in her life and i am doing my best... now the story starts out a very long time ago between me and her. we have known each other for 10years now and we have always been there for each other no matter what...back in high school i always new that she had a crush on me and i had the same feelings for her, well that's not the point of the story right now.... but i always knew she was hiding something from me but i never really intruded in on it...but i could tell that she wanted someone to talk about so i let it go until she thought that the time was right....well about a month ago she finally came out and told me. now let me put something else in here before i get to carried away. i always looked at her family as my own family, they accept me more than my own, even her step father which i looked up to as a father.. well now back on with the story well she came out to me last month and told me that her step-dad was sexually molesting her.. now im really mad at this guy for doing it, but the plot of this whole mess has thickened more than i thought it would've. he was kind of using me for a reason to get what he wanted out of her, for instance he gave me money so i can go back to school and get my high school diploma, and he never asked me to pay him back, but now i find out that he took my debt out on her. just like a job that he had gotten for me, he did the same thing again. this molestation has been going on for years since she was 8years old.... i have never been so betrayed in my entire life, i let him hold my 11 month old daughter, and trusted him with my best friend and thought that he was treating her and her sisters the right way, but i come to find out he has done this to her. i moved away from my home town not just to get away so i wouldn't kill him(literally) and moved closer to her, so he will stop doing that and if i ever caught him here i probly would kill him..... i have so many emotions bottled up inside and i don't want her to know all that i am thinking right now because im concentrating on her and focusing on her, she seems like she doesn't want to go to the police or anything because he has been locked up for the same thing twice in another state... and she doesn't want him to move on to other girls either, i don't know how i can persuade her into calling authorities and trying to get her into counseling...she has gotten to the point of cutting the top of her wrist and things like that, she has thought about killing herself but that's another reason for moving where im at so that way she wouldn't... now i will admit that i am truly and deeply in love with her and i want to help her out in any way i can, she keeps telling me that if she were to talk to a counselor that they would probably put her in a psyciatric ward and i really don't think that would happen if she would just come out more and tell a counselor.....well please someone help me out it's a difficult situation for the both of us and i just need the help that i can get......i know it's nothing really to do with love.......well yea it does because i love her and want to help her through this...so she can start on repairing her life...... if anyone knows of anyway of helping please email me at <e-mail address removed>

im afraid that she will feel like she won't trust me if i did call the authourities

[Tony T]

Exactly HOW can you continue to have any respect whatsoever for a lady who allows her stepfather to continue to molest her. He actually screws her for payment for monies he gives you for schooling??? This is the sickest thing alive.

 

She told YOU what was going on. So is she trustworthy???

 

If you care an ounce for her, even a half an ounce, you will see that this gets reported. Give the police an anonymous tip. But do it. If she finds out, I promise you she will not hold this against you.

 

Smarten up, buddy. Her disclosure to you was a cry for help. She wants this stuff to be known and she wants this guy to be in jail. She just doesn't have the guts to do it herself.

 

Get some wisdom. You need it now. Go talk to some other responsible adult if you feel incapable of dealing with this.

 

Please, if you never do anything for a fellow human being again in all your life, GET THE LAW INVOLVED HERE AND GET SOME RELIEF FOR THIS LADY, A FELLOW HUMAN BEING.

 

You posted here because you didn't know what to do. Now, I'm telling you.

 

Frankly, you have gotten me in the middle of this crap because by not reporting this post I am also obstructing justice as well. But the personal nature of this forum dictates that I keep it that way. That's why I'm depending on you to report this at once, either directly or anonymously.

 

If you don't do anything else, talk to a member of the clergy or a counsellor about how to handle this very discretely.

 

Get it through your thick skull....THIS GIRL IS CRYING FOR HELP AND YOU'RE NOT DOING A THING TO HELP!!!!

[JustAGirl]

Well would u rather she doesn't trust u or she keeps being abused? ... Kind of selfish to worry about what she'll think of you, no?

 

I think if u know of a criminal offence being committed, u ought to report it. Anonymously is a good idea. After all would u want this to be on your conscience for the rest of your life? Imagine he does something really bad to her a week from now? It'll be partially your responsibility.......

 

Good luck

im afraid that she will feel like she won't trust me if i did call the authourities

[Tony T]

You said it better than I could with a lot less words.