Fantastic first date, but can't stop overthinking

[rain88]

I had a fantastic first date with a girl I met on Tinder last week. She is really beautiful, She's a 10 in my eyes and everyone is always commenting on her pics on Facebook. I still can't believe how well it went, and I can't stop thinking about her! We have so much in common, such as music, films, etc. But also just our general outlook on life and views on things. It was quite weird, but in a good way, how we kept agreeing on things. The evening went so quick and I only realised after I said goodbye to her that we'd spent four hours together! Never have I spent that long with someone on a first date that I haven't met before. There was never an awkward silence and the conversation flowed so well and it felt completely natural.

 

I felt she really made an effort to meet me and she was right on time. She came straight from work by train to meet me in my town which is 30mins away. She kept me updated all the time. I offered to meet her in her town, but she insisted. We got something to eat and drink, I offered to pay for food and the three drinks we had, which she was appreciative of.

 

It was still early and we had a bit of time to kill for her last train. I asked if she wanted to go to another bar near by which she agreed to. When we went to sit down, she made of point sitting right next to me instead opposite, as she said she felt too far away. We were sitting really close to each other and the body language was a lot more flirty. It felt like the conversation was more light-hearted and we were laughing.

 

As we said goodbye, we both agreed we had a good time and when we hugged and I said we'll have to do it again sometime. She said "definitely" and kissed me on the cheek - Couldn't believe it! I've had quite a few first dates and that has never happened. I text her a few hours after to see if she got back ok and to say I had a great time and we should met again. She said it was really nice to meet me and we should do it again sometime. We've been texting on and off for a few days.

 

I have tried to set up a second date this week but she is busy with birthday plans. I asked her about the weekend and she said "Possibly, I have tentative plans, can I let you know later in the week?" - Now, for some reason after hearing this I can't stop over thinking things. I can't help it, I always do! I have been doubting whether she wants to meet up again and I know this sounds stupid after everything I have just said..... I always feel impatient about these things and want to keep the momentum going. I don't feel I am needy and I never bombard her with texts, its just all in my head. I think one other factor is that she is really stunning and maybe I am worried that other guys will be after her, which wouldn't surprise me. I think I am just anxious for it to work out! its been a while since I have had a proper relationship.

 

I'm not entirely sure why I posted this, but I felt like I wanted to share my experience. I guess I am looking for some reassurance and how to stop over thinking things? and how the first date went?

 

I try to keep telling myself she wouldn't have wanted to stay out longer, sat closer to me or kissed me on the cheek if she wasn't interested...

 

Thanks for reading

[fred123]

I personally dont think shes interested or attracted to you. Otherwise she would have kissed you on the lips etc and confirmed a second date.

[rain88]

Really? A kiss on the lips on first date?? She has agreed to meet up, just she's busy so not sure what day she free...

[empresario]

First of all, CALM THE F DOWN.

 

 

Seriously, calm. You are in a dangerous world right now where you're about to use your zeal to mess it all up. As I tell my new employees when they are going to meet a celebrity in the office. I know this person means something to you. I know this is a first for you and that you will be really excited. But at least pretend you've done it before.

 

 

I will give you the same advice. She's into you. You guys appear to have chemistry. Now calm down and come at the problem rationally. If she says she's busy, it's ok. Don't stop communication. Definitely do not play the "if she's interested she will come up with a plan" game. Stay in contact, wait a couple days for whatever plans she has to die down, and try again. If she continues to duck you there may be a bigger problem. But people sometimes get busy. If she's actively engaging with you in conversation then trust me, she's not ducking you. Women make it very apparent when they no longer want your attention.

[rain88]

thank you, that's exactly what I needed someone to say to me haha!

[MidwestUSA]

Calm and cool. Stop thinking. I had a date like that. We couldn't see each other for another week. The second date was just as good.

 

Been together three years now, married for two. Good luck!

[Gaeta]

Sorry but I'll be your party pooper today.

 

I have been on 1st dates where I had a great time, where I said yes I would love to see him again and where I even let him kiss me on the lips but once I got home I felt ' nah that's not really what I want. '

 

On the other hand if I had a great time and I really want to see him again I will move mountains to squeeze him in my schedule.

[MidwestUSA]

Sorry but I'll be your party pooper today.

 

I have been on 1st dates where I had a great time, where I said yes I would love to see him again and where I even let him kiss me on the lips but once I got home I felt ' nah that's not really what I want. '

 

On the other hand if I had a great time and I really want to see him again I will move mountains to squeeze him in my schedule.

 

Well, there's gotta be one everywhere, pooper!

 

I should add that sure, I went on a hundred great first dates before this one, and I was fifty by the time it happened.

 

I didn't poop, I just peed in his Cheerios.

[Gary S]

(if) I really want to see him again I will move mountains to squeeze him in my schedule.

 

- this. She already turned you down, she did not counteroffer another date day when you asked her on the phone.

[losangelena]

Sorry but I'll be your party pooper today.

 

I have been on 1st dates where I had a great time, where I said yes I would love to see him again and where I even let him kiss me on the lips but once I got home I felt ' nah that's not really what I want. '

 

On the other hand if I had a great time and I really want to see him again I will move mountains to squeeze him in my schedule.

 

And this is when we remind OP that everyone's different!

 

No knock to you Gaeta, but just because this woman didn't respond the way you did, doesn't mean she's not sincere in her interest. It is simply too soon for the OP to know one way or the other. Besides, regardless of her stance, he really does need to work on his anxiety over this. They've gone on ONE DATE. If it turns out she's not interested, yes it'll be disappointing, but not a tragedy. OP would do well to try and achieve such a mindset.

 

On a somewhat related note, I'm rather dismayed by this assumption that everyone who is genuinely or sincerely interested will look or act a certain way. This whole notion that someone will move mountains to see you is, in my opinion, strictly false. I'm sorry, but sometimes life gets in the way, even of a good thing.

 

Hang tight OP. Take a wait and see approach, and don't throw all your eggs into one basket.

[Gaeta]

 

No knock to you Gaeta, but just because this woman didn't respond the way you did, doesn't mean she's not sincere in her interest.

 

For sure I don't hold the holy truth!

 

I am just letting OP know that it's possible even though they had a great date that she simply changed her mind. It happens.

[Redhead14]

Sorry but I'll be your party pooper today.

 

I have been on 1st dates where I had a great time, where I said yes I would love to see him again and where I even let him kiss me on the lips but once I got home I felt ' nah that's not really what I want. '

 

On the other hand if I had a great time and I really want to see him again I will move mountains to squeeze him in my schedule.

 

I will move mountains to squeeze him in my schedule-- Stay tuned for posts from men who say that a woman was making herself too available and being clingy. Sometimes women can't win either .

 

once I got home I felt ' nah that's not really what I want. ' -- Yeah, that happens too on both sides. But you don't know until you know. I think it's better to look at the date as a whole, if it was really good, go home with a sense of positivity at least.

[Gary S]

I will move mountains to squeeze him in my schedule-- Stay tuned for posts from men who say that a woman was making herself too available and being clingy. Sometimes women can't win either .

 

.

 

 

- Welcome ladies and gentlemen to the world's biggest cat and mouse game, dating.

 

 

 

 

 

once I got home I felt ' nah that's not really what I want. ' -- Yeah, that happens too on both sides. But you don't know until you know. I think it's better to look at the date as a whole, if it was really good, go home with a sense of positivity at least.

 

- You don't have the foundation for a relationship until two months of dating has passed.

[Gaeta]

I think it's better to look at the date as a whole, if it was really good, go home with a sense of positivity at least.

 

I think it's better to go home with a sens of Que sera sera. You open yourself to possibilities and you let life decide. If she calls good, if she doesn't nothing lost. I think it's more healthy to just let go - give away your power over it - than to feed hopes.