162 Posted June 23, 2015 Share Posted June 23, 2015 I'm 21. I dated a guy for the past 3 years. For around 1.5 years he treated me like ****. (Ignorance, abusing, accusing etc etc) And amidst that time period i found out about all his affairs. Girlfriends, flirting with other chicks, lies about his family, education -almost everything about him was a lie. So i decided to leave. But he accepted all those allegations and apologized, asking for another chance. I gave him a second chance. He treated me like a princess for the next 1.5 years . I almost started trusting him again. While recently, i found about his activities again. He was cheating on me. I had proofs : chats, pictures, his friends told me, i even talked to the girl he was dating. But he denied all of this. Saying it's photoshopped. A conspiracy against him. And blocked me everywhere. Saying that i am accusing him. How can someone deny such proofs? What should i do? Trust him? Leave him? Should i block him on Social Media? I don't understand, why did he apologize and treat me like a princess, when he was again resuming his activities (cheating)? Why the whole drama? How can someone pretend to be in love? Why was he running after me, trying to please me if he already was cheating on me? I just don't understand WHY? Link to post Share on other sites
eye of the storm Posted June 23, 2015 Share Posted June 23, 2015 Because he wants you and... You need to stop a moment and think why at such a young age (or any age for that matter) you accepted such abuse for 1.5 years. You need to learn how to love you and value you. Once you do that, you won't accept that kind of treatment. He is not good for you. He is drama. Don't engage, don't try to find out why he did what he did because it doesn't matter why, it only matters that he thinks this kind of behavior is acceptable. Just move on. Spend time with you learning who you are and liking yourself. Once that is done, then find someone to spend time with who values all the things you are. Link to post Share on other sites
salparadise Posted June 23, 2015 Share Posted June 23, 2015 The difference between the why's for the abuser and the abused are surprisingly small. In a word, it's insecure attachment due to feelings of unworthiness and a multitude of fears, i.e., fear of being alone. It just manifests differently such that you became the yen for his yang in a dysfunctional relationship. The answers to why he would behave that way are no more rational than answer to why you're willing to put up with it once you've seen it for what it is. The part that you need to work on understanding is you. You can change yourself but you can't change anyone else. You can only make the choice to be with them or not. Link to post Share on other sites
S_A Posted June 23, 2015 Share Posted June 23, 2015 Nay. Plus you're 21. You got plenty of time to find someone great. Just take this as a learning experience. Link to post Share on other sites
Lurkeraspect Posted June 23, 2015 Share Posted June 23, 2015 Nay, nay, nay... Link to post Share on other sites
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