Gingerlocks Posted June 24, 2015 Share Posted June 24, 2015 6 weeks ago, my girlfriend told me that she wanted a break, because she had her exams coming up. In the beginning, I panicked. Really, I couldn't believe it. Everything was going so well... Anyways, I went to her house to pick up some of my stuff, and she said that she just couldn't cope with a relationship during these times. I couldn't really do much more than just except it, so I tried. I did all the typical begging and so on, on the bus drive home, but I found out quickly, that is just wasn't worth it. In the mean time, the place I work at, there is a guy, who my ex-girlfriend met in town, back when we were together. Suddenly they were talking all the time. I confronted her, and asked her if it was because of him she wanted this break, but she just came back straight away saying:"Omg no, I was just asking him something". So.. I had to believe her. I began to see loads of pictures of her going into town suddenly, with her girlfriends, AND that guy from my work. So that didn't help. During her exams she would sometimes text me, saying stuff like;"I know things are bad now, but they will get better - I love you", "Gosh I miss you :'( - I miss you so much", "Wait for me", Then one day I get a text from her saying that she can't cope anymore, and she needs me to come to her house, so I do. the first thing she does when she sees me, is to give me a massive hug, tells me how much she has missed me, and that she loves me, and then she kissed me. We then spoke about it, and she told me stuff like;"Ofc we are going to continue as a couple","You're the one I want to be with"... That made me happy. She still said that she couldn't really be in contact during these exams, as she really needs to get her head around them. Fair enough. I would ask about that guy from work, but she guaranteed that there WAS nothing going on. They just met at the same place. So I had to believe that... 2 weeks later (last thursday) I get a text saying she wants to pick her stuff up, as she doesn't want to be in a relationship anymore, but she didn't want to lose contact with me... I couldn't believe it. I've been waiting 6 weeks for this girl. She put me through hell these weeks. I've done EVERYTHING she asked me to do. promising me we would get back together... and I get this? I didn't feel as SAD as I thought I would. I was more disappointed and angry. I then decided just to accept it, and go NC. I had been NC for around 4 days and I get 2 texts from her: You told me that I knew where to find you, but you haven't been online on whatsapp for 4 days now, and you've blocked me on facebook? What is going on? - I'd just like to know how to get hold of you when so?" I didn't reply to that. It was tempting, but I didnt. Yesterday at work, she then rang me, but i didn't answer. I feel treated like ****. Honestly... I feel like texting her saying something like: "Honestly I don't want to be in contact. You f**cked me up completely. I have nothing more to say." Should I do that, or should I leave it? Link to post Share on other sites
Jemay Posted June 24, 2015 Share Posted June 24, 2015 You sound really angry, and I totally get why. I'm sorry you had to go through that. I would keep no contact. Whatever is said now will all just be in anger anyways. Trust me, she'll be more upset if you ignore her instead of texting her something angry. She did wrong, let her sit on that. Link to post Share on other sites
Zing Posted June 24, 2015 Share Posted June 24, 2015 (edited) Honestly... I feel like texting her saying something like: "Honestly I don't want to be in contact. You f**cked me up completely. I have nothing more to say." Should I do that, or should I leave it? Just leave it, you are achieving exactly what you want by saying nothing. She's freaking out. She is most definitely ****ing the other guy and wants to keep you on the backburner...just in case. Edited June 24, 2015 by Zing Link to post Share on other sites
lauri Posted June 24, 2015 Share Posted June 24, 2015 Honestly, the best thing you did was to not say a word to her and cut her off. You have cut off her safety net. Now, she no longer has a fall back option. Your best revenge is living a good life. By being silent and not saying a word to her or responding is a significantly stronger message than anything you would say to her. If you respond or talk to her, all you will do is give her an ego boost and make her feel special. Don't help her feel better about herself bro, it'll only allow her to bang this next dude with less guilt. By the way, always listen to your gut when it is telling you something. Never sacrifice what you enjoy / bend over backwards for someone, never. She was making you jump through hoops while she was talking to or banging another man. Your gut was screaming this. With that said, I've done what you've done here before too. She isn't your problem anymore. She had her chance, now never look back. Link to post Share on other sites
mystikmind2005 Posted June 24, 2015 Share Posted June 24, 2015 Look to yourself. You have to consider that when a person undergoes trials in life (exams) that is the time when they need their supporting influences most to gain emotional energy, so she won't be getting rid of you because of the exams. She is getting rid of you because she does not see you as a supporting influence to give her energy, no, you are something she feels she needs to invest energy into, and that is something she cannot afford right now. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gingerlocks Posted June 24, 2015 Author Share Posted June 24, 2015 (edited) I woke up today, and I felt like telling her NOT to contact me again. Maybe that was wrong of me, but... What she did to me, I'll never forgive her for. She wants to be friends. I can't do that... She then replied with stuff like, "Sorry for what she had put me through, I deserve better, have a good life, you and your mom are lovely people <3" I replied back; Deserve better? I had the best. Now leave me alone. <-(Im hoping that might come to bite her at some point) She then came back to me saying stuff like sorry again, and if this was the last time we were in contact, she wished me a good life. Deleted her number when I got that text. Im back to day 1 of the NC, but. I kinda felt like I had to do it. God knows why, and I'm regretting it like crazy. I have a strange feeling, that she will try to contact me again. I don't know why.. Weird question... Are there any chances of getting her back? Or don't I want a girl like that back? Edited June 24, 2015 by Gingerlocks Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gingerlocks Posted June 24, 2015 Author Share Posted June 24, 2015 She is my first proper love btw. Im 21. Link to post Share on other sites
lolablue17 Posted June 24, 2015 Share Posted June 24, 2015 Her texts to you are pure disgusting selfishness. It was better if you didn't text her at all, but it's not really important. She was right. You deserve better. Link to post Share on other sites
lauri Posted June 24, 2015 Share Posted June 24, 2015 I woke up today, and I felt like telling her NOT to contact me again. Maybe that was wrong of me, but... What she did to me, I'll never forgive her for. She wants to be friends. I can't do that... She then replied with stuff like, "Sorry for what she had put me through, I deserve better, have a good life, you and your mom are lovely people <3" I replied back; Deserve better? I had the best. Now leave me alone. <-(Im hoping that might come to bite her at some point) She then came back to me saying stuff like sorry again, and if this was the last time we were in contact, she wished me a good life. Deleted her number when I got that text. Im back to day 1 of the NC, but. I kinda felt like I had to do it. God knows why, and I'm regretting it like crazy. I have a strange feeling, that she will try to contact me again. I don't know why.. Weird question... Are there any chances of getting her back? Or don't I want a girl like that back? No offense man but a very low chance of getting her back. All you did was validate her feelings and showed her you care. Your best action was staying silent and sending the strongest message of indifference. She may feel guilty now but that isn't your problem or concern. Let her live with it. You opened the door for her to attack you and end things on her note. Regardless, don't even consider going back to her. Your self respect is everything, and to be honest, I think you would throw it away going back to someone who did this to you. All you can do is pick yourself up and do no contact. She will contact you again shortly to test you and see if you actually meant what you said. Block her everywhere and don't look back man. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted June 24, 2015 Share Posted June 24, 2015 She's not coming back. This relationship was over for her. Your last text was fine. Leave it at that. She did try to end on a somewhat polite note so again let it be. There is no need to continue hurting each other. For future reference when somebody you are dating has a stressful period like exams, they do limit contact but not cut it off all together. Instead of getting together during the week it may go to weekends only with a few calls in between but they don't ask for a "break". Breaks are training wheels for a break up. If she had needed to study as you now know she would not have been out & about with her girlfriends or calling the other guy. Take some time. Heal. Grieve the loss of your relationship, then go out & enjoy your summer. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gingerlocks Posted June 24, 2015 Author Share Posted June 24, 2015 Yeah... I regret massivly that i texted her, bur i felt like something had to be said. What she did to me, is bang out of order. Really... Im better of without her right? Link to post Share on other sites
lolablue17 Posted June 24, 2015 Share Posted June 24, 2015 Yeah... I regret massivly that i texted her, bur i felt like something had to be said. What she did to me, is bang out of order. Really... Im better of without her right? Yes, you're better of wothout her. Don't eat yourself about texting her this time. It's meaningless. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gingerlocks Posted June 24, 2015 Author Share Posted June 24, 2015 I still feel im at the stage where i feel she is the only one for me. That i wont find anyone like her... Link to post Share on other sites
sandylee1 Posted June 24, 2015 Share Posted June 24, 2015 I still feel im at the stage where i feel she is the only one for me. That i wont find anyone like her... Of course you'll find someone else, you've got years ahead of you. The first love cuts deep . Keep NC Link to post Share on other sites
PaperCrane Posted June 24, 2015 Share Posted June 24, 2015 I still feel im at the stage where i feel she is the only one for me. That i wont find anyone like her... Oh to be young again. Why would you want to find someone like her again when she did this to you? There are better people out there, there is more to life than relationships. You're feeling frayed because that is literally what's happened. Just give it time and you'll see everything wasn't sunshine, rainbows and unicorns. What she did to you was unconscionable and in no way should you allow that type of behavior. You did the right thing. Link to post Share on other sites
drallafi Posted June 24, 2015 Share Posted June 24, 2015 Classic cheaters guilt. Let this one go. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gingerlocks Posted June 24, 2015 Author Share Posted June 24, 2015 You guys really think she cheated? - I don't know why keep on thinking about her. What she did was awful? And wrong. I guess... It will go over in time? Link to post Share on other sites
mightycpa Posted June 25, 2015 Share Posted June 25, 2015 I still feel im at the stage where i feel she is the only one for me. That i wont find anyone like her...You can only hope that this is true. She sounds like a real piece of work. I think she was going out, having fun, meeting up with new guys while she kept you in reserve. I'm not sure what causes people to do that, especially women. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gingerlocks Posted June 25, 2015 Author Share Posted June 25, 2015 such a joke. Im feeling more hatred to her now than sadness. What she did is bang out of order. Suddenly I don't regret that text telling her to get out of my life...... Link to post Share on other sites
drallafi Posted June 25, 2015 Share Posted June 25, 2015 You guys really think she cheated? - I don't know why keep on thinking about her. What she did was awful? And wrong. I guess... It will go over in time? I would bet my life savings on it and not even blink an eye. Sorry man. Learning that your woman has no virtue can be very hard. I've been there. Most of us have been there. You will get through it, friend. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gingerlocks Posted June 26, 2015 Author Share Posted June 26, 2015 I would bet my life savings on it and not even blink an eye. Sorry man. Learning that your woman has no virtue can be very hard. I've been there. Most of us have been there. You will get through it, friend. Such a joke. I know I will get over her. What she has done/Doing, is unacceptable. I know she will regret it one day. Aw well. Link to post Share on other sites
Itspointless Posted June 26, 2015 Share Posted June 26, 2015 (edited) Look to yourself. You have to consider that when a person undergoes trials in life (exams) that is the time when they need their supporting influences most to gain emotional energy, so she won't be getting rid of you because of the exams. She is getting rid of you because she does not see you as a supporting influence to give her energy, no, you are something she feels she needs to invest energy into, and that is something she cannot afford right now. I am always surprised with all the guys with crystal balls in here, sorry mystikmind2005 I picked your answer randomly. But what you wrote is just not right, as there really are people who push away when stressed. But instigating a break when you need some space that I think is uncalled for, just say you need some space would suffice wouldn't it? And no guys, not every woman instantly goes banging someone else. its a possibility but not more than that at this moment. This isn't an exact science, please lets not pretend it is. Go on like you do Gingerlocks! I am sorry to say but she sounds selfish the way you describe her. Edited June 26, 2015 by Itspointless Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gingerlocks Posted June 28, 2015 Author Share Posted June 28, 2015 her mom contacted me the other day... She might be Borderline... Link to post Share on other sites
Itspointless Posted June 28, 2015 Share Posted June 28, 2015 her mom contacted me the other day... She might be Borderline... I really respect her mother for contacting you, although it surprises me that people often tell these kind of things afterwards. Search for Downtown his posts, it might give you some answers. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gingerlocks Posted June 28, 2015 Author Share Posted June 28, 2015 What do you mean? has he been through this? Link to post Share on other sites
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