DexterLS Posted July 14, 2015 Share Posted July 14, 2015 UPDATE! Yesterday, she texted me. She saw me in town, as she was out with a bunch of friends, but when she started searching for me, I was long gone home. anyways. then the texts came in. Saying that she is missing me like crazy, and she would love for me and her to be a couple again, as she really wants to, and she realizes that she had made a huge mistake. I haven't replied to anything of it yet... I don't know what to do... Im scared she'll just mess me up again? What do I do? I would be really cautious about this. Based on her previous patterns, it looks like she can mess this up again. I don't think it's a good idea to meet with her again but of course it's you who decide. Link to post Share on other sites
ravfour4 Posted July 14, 2015 Share Posted July 14, 2015 Ask her if she's sure, it will help you determine sincerity from a moment of weakness. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gingerlocks Posted July 14, 2015 Author Share Posted July 14, 2015 I honestly don't know what to do... really. Link to post Share on other sites
ravfour4 Posted July 14, 2015 Share Posted July 14, 2015 You have to do something or ask something to distinguish temporary neediness from a sincere reconciliation attempt. Link to post Share on other sites
Itspointless Posted July 15, 2015 Share Posted July 15, 2015 You have to do something or ask something to distinguish temporary neediness from a sincere reconciliation attempt. Sorry I do not agree with this. She let him go through hell for weeks and now she suddenly wants him back after seeing him walk by? Well that indeed is up to him, but if she can do this once, than she can do it a third, a fouth (etc.) time. Gingerlocks you can do better than a controlling girlfriend, who wants you when SHE needs you. Link to post Share on other sites
irishguy Posted July 15, 2015 Share Posted July 15, 2015 Do you think she broke up with you so she could date the other guy but it didnt work out with him so thats why she is coming back to you . Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gingerlocks Posted July 15, 2015 Author Share Posted July 15, 2015 honestly, I have no idea... Really. I don't know. Im just scared she will do it again.... Maybe she will, maybe she won't. Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden2 Posted July 15, 2015 Share Posted July 15, 2015 Agree to meet her to talk. Tell her in no uncertain terms you will not stand for BS. Then: Ask her to put on the table what SHE intends to do to repair the damage SHE caused, and what work SHE is going to put in to regain YOUR trust? She has to be made to understand that it's not merely a question of you guys getting back together. Relationships take work, and she has a lot of ground to make up if you are ever to trust a single thing she ever says or does. She has to realise it's not going to be as easy as just breezing back in and picking up from where she left off. She broke your heart. What does she intend to do to prove to you this will not happen again? Let her speak. But understand this: You have to take control of your life, and not hang your dependence of happiness on this girl's shoulders. Listen to her, and listen to your gut. If it all sounds too good to be true, then it probably is exactly that. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gingerlocks Posted July 15, 2015 Author Share Posted July 15, 2015 ^this. I still get the feeling now and again that she is the only one for me.... Link to post Share on other sites
Itspointless Posted July 15, 2015 Share Posted July 15, 2015 ^this. I still get the feeling now and again that she is the only one for me.... Don't we all. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gingerlocks Posted August 5, 2015 Author Share Posted August 5, 2015 Im thinking about asking her best friend if she knows anything... Me and her best friend talk really well. I'd like to know if she mentioned anything about her wanting to get back together with me to her? BAD MOVE or? Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden2 Posted August 5, 2015 Share Posted August 5, 2015 Bad Move. No "or" about it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gingerlocks Posted August 5, 2015 Author Share Posted August 5, 2015 Bad Move. No "or" about it. I should just leave it or? Link to post Share on other sites
MCGar Posted August 5, 2015 Share Posted August 5, 2015 ^this. I still get the feeling now and again that she is the only one for me.... This is the worst myth I've ever encountered and believe THIS leads to the worst relationship decisions of all time. You're going to hate my theory BUT I'll still share it. I don't believe in soul mates. I believe that there are a multitude of people that we can bond to and love in a variety of ways. The key to unlocking the soul mate myth is that the true definition (at least the only definition I will ever give credence to) of Love is: Not just feeling but also action that entails responsibility, honesty, respect, not only wanting the absolute best for the other person but self reflecting in order to be the best for the the other person, self-sacrifice without debasing oneself, healthy boundaries etc..... Do you get my meaning? Love isn't just the feeling of connecting, bonding, 'getting' each other, it is ALSO the action that protects each other and the relationship. So in addition to that definition of love, I believe that there are so many people out there that have a multitude of personality combinations that can hit your 'soul mate' radar, but the responsibility part of Love is what carries the rest of the way. There is no way on earth that you can convince me that there is not any other person that is funny, interesting, exciting, caring, intelligent, quirky enough in a manner that would blow you away. Quite frankly, I am positive that there are plenty of women that could show you real soul mate potential and could complete you in a way that this particular girl never could. The thing with immature, or even toxic people is that they are rarely ever aware at how wrong/bad/selfish they are. They aren't sitting in a room waxing their evil mustache and trying on the fit of their Breaking Bad hat. This girl probably has no clue that she is using you. She just knows that her feelings are leading her this way and that and she's just going with them. That is what she is going to continue to do, but if you get back with her you'll have probably invested in an engagement ring, emotionally bonded to her family, lost most all of your friends and end up holding a very empty bag while she flits off when she can't handle it again. You can't save her. If you get back with her you will be enabling her in the worst way. It is possible if you treat her as an adult should be treated (NC, not feeding her drama) she MIGHT sit back and think on it a little and it might help her in her future, but that really is up to her. I don't know if she got with another guy but I'm pretty sure she had tempted feelings, wanted to see what that was all about but was still bonded to you emotionally (you're her comfortable place) and wants to keep you where SHE feels safe. But where does that leave you? Is that love? She is not capable of loving you because she's too self absorbed and selfish to understand what it is. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden2 Posted August 6, 2015 Share Posted August 6, 2015 I should just leave it or? YES!! Just - leave - it!! Forget 'or'! There IS no 'or'....! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gingerlocks Posted August 6, 2015 Author Share Posted August 6, 2015 I've thought about something today... She is really not worth thinking about, after what she has put me through is she? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gingerlocks Posted August 7, 2015 Author Share Posted August 7, 2015 I have a really good day today man. I've finally come to realize that what she have done to me is so wrong. And im probably not the only person she will do it to. so maybe its a good thing i came out of this mess? Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden2 Posted August 7, 2015 Share Posted August 7, 2015 You think...?! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gingerlocks Posted August 7, 2015 Author Share Posted August 7, 2015 You think...?! Hahahahaha. Made me smile. You guys are awesome! Now there's only one way. And thats up! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gingerlocks Posted August 7, 2015 Author Share Posted August 7, 2015 Do you think im right btw. That im not the only guy she will do this to? Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden2 Posted August 7, 2015 Share Posted August 7, 2015 Who cares what she does, or to whom? You're out of it. Count your blessings. Fer chrissakes, stop over-thinking this.... Link to post Share on other sites
MCGar Posted August 7, 2015 Share Posted August 7, 2015 Do you think im right btw. That im not the only guy she will do this to? I agree that it shouldn't matter to you, but to answer the question if it help any; there is a saying, 'Wherever you go, there you are.' Wherever she goes, she will carry with her all of her personality hangups. She'll be attracted to the type of guys that are givers or fixers that will be attracted to her needy, moody, immaturity. It's a POSSIBILITY, that she might happen upon a guy that won't take any of her crap who will stand up to all of it and be willing to drop HER if she pushes his boundaries. Who knows? Like I said there are tons of different combination of personalities out there and she is going to be adrift with her faults wherever she goes. She MIGHT grow out of it but then again she might not. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gingerlocks Posted August 7, 2015 Author Share Posted August 7, 2015 true... I shouldn't really think about it... cheers guys! Link to post Share on other sites
lolablue17 Posted August 7, 2015 Share Posted August 7, 2015 When a girl says "Wait for me" when she takes a breaks, she must understand that the "wait for me" is a powerfull expression, and it demand a lot of responsibility for saying that. She hasn't been like that. She never took responsibility and kept playing with your feeling few times, preventing you to move on. She is not your enemy, but she is not the girl who will be there for you when you need her. In this stage of her life she can "be there" only for herself. Even if she wants you back - say no. walk away. She's toxic for you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gingerlocks Posted August 8, 2015 Author Share Posted August 8, 2015 also.. i have a few of her friends on my facebook friendlist. We get along good. But.. should I block them anyways? Link to post Share on other sites
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