lost444 Posted April 30, 2005 Share Posted April 30, 2005 Hi, Im new to the forum and have also moved to a new city in southern California. Im feeling like a loser right now posting this but I need some help. After 4 or 5 months in this new city I have a grand total of zero friends male or female and zero dates. This has not really been a problem for me in the past I have met almost all of my friends from work or school. However at the moment I am not attending college and I work in a real estate office where 99% of the people are over 30 or 40 plus years of age and I am 23!. I recently got out of the Army after 4 years and returned to California, and I live within two blocks of 3 uncles, a half dozen cousins, my grandma and mom. The cousins and unlces arent really my age. These people make up all of my "people interaction" apart from work. However this is my first time actually living here. Now quite obviously Im just not meeting people but Im having a hard time doing just that. In the past I would go out to bars and club regularly on weekends to meet girls but that was with a big groups of friends always, and right now I have none. Am I supposed to be going out to bars/clubs by myself? I dont know them in this area and Im nervous about that idea. Ive just recently registered with two online personals one being yahoo but Im not sure thats a good way to go about this. As for organizational type clubs I have seen online in my area I have found only ones with people like 30+ in age again which is not what im looking for. Again, I just want some friends to hang out with and go out to the clubs on weekends etc. and it just isnt working for me here, sorry for the long post, any comments are appreciated. Link to post Share on other sites
ConfusedInOC Posted April 30, 2005 Share Posted April 30, 2005 If your are Christian and local to SOCAL, I can take you with me to Church on Sunday evening, if you are interested. Believe it or not, that's a great place to meet people (no, not in a meat market sense, just to make friends.) Link to post Share on other sites
Author lost444 Posted April 30, 2005 Author Share Posted April 30, 2005 ConfusedInOC, thank you for the kind offer! ~ but I am a atheist \(O.o;)/ anyone have any other ideas? Link to post Share on other sites
ConfusedInOC Posted April 30, 2005 Share Posted April 30, 2005 Originally posted by Permities ConfusedInOC, thank you for the kind offer! ~ but I am a atheist \(O.o;)/ anyone have any other ideas? Link to post Share on other sites
chubachoop Posted April 30, 2005 Share Posted April 30, 2005 go out with one of the younger people at work, one of the 30 year olds. You dont have to have him as your mate all the time but just untill you mee some people. Or you could try going to bars on your own, although I wouldnt. When I moved to a new city I was lucky enough to have one younger person at work. Do you like sport? can u join a local sports team or something? or maybe you could start an eveing class at the local college. good luck Link to post Share on other sites
curiousnycgirl Posted May 1, 2005 Share Posted May 1, 2005 You can meet people anywhere - even the grocery store - but true friends, would be people you share common interests with. You need to go do what you love to do - whatever that is. Ideas: Join a gymn Take up tennis pick up basketball games golf horseback riding volunteer work the list can be endless Just do what YOU love and the rest will follow. Link to post Share on other sites
clone56 Posted May 11, 2005 Share Posted May 11, 2005 IF u figure this one out PLEASE let me know cause i was going to start a thread about the same topic. IM in the exact same sitution. NO friends, just lame work were a bunch of lame people work at. Let me know bro if u getting any good ideas. Myspace.com is ok but not real friends i would say. Link to post Share on other sites
dgiirl Posted May 11, 2005 Share Posted May 11, 2005 Originally posted by chubachoop go out with one of the younger people at work, one of the 30 year olds. yah! us 30-something's are not so old Well, I've noticed that there are some 30 year olds who act more mature, and other's who act more young hearted Hopefully the 30 year olds at your work are more young hearted. Link to post Share on other sites
shachic Posted May 30, 2005 Share Posted May 30, 2005 Well - i had the same problem when i moved to philly - i'm from md/dc area....so i find myself driving down there a lot to hang w/ my friends - or up to NYC, where more of my friends live. But, in Philly itself, i have like 3 friends that I can call 'good friends'. Others, I meet just to hang out. I've met people through Myspace.com, Friendster.com, etc. I also took some fun night classes - guitar, pottery, etc. And...while the people I met there aren't really good friends yet, its nice b/c now I have something in common w/ them...and if there's a good acoustic guitar concert going on, one of them will call me up and ask if i wanna go.....or if there's a pottery exhibit at the local gallery, we'll go. Its just something to do for now...who knows, maybe the more I hang out w/ them, the better friends we'll be - if not, at least it passes the time. I hope you find people to hang with...i'm sure you will, I know its really frustrating and it seems lonely now. Definitely try taking a class - but don't go w/ high expectation, just take a class that u've always wanted to take...and if you make friends from this, then thats the bonus. If not - don't give up! keep taking classes...go to seminars....definitely try volunteering, or hey....make friends with the 30 yr olds at work! I'm 28....almost 30..and I don't think of myself of old (god help me!!) and wouldn't think twice about hanging out w/ someone a few years younger than me. And who knows...they might know people, who know people, who know people, (etc..) who are closer to your own age that you could meet. good luck!! Link to post Share on other sites
miss-gonewest Posted June 9, 2005 Share Posted June 9, 2005 I'm not sure about your home situation , but when I moved to a new city & knew noone, I answered an ad to share a house.... I ended up moving in with 2 other folks who weren't from town and it was the best thing I ever could've done! They knew one or two people and we all ended up as one big happy group. When the house split, I moved in with a friend of theirs, and expanded my circle more. That was 5 years ago and I still keep in contact with some of them. I have also seen a few 'personals' in my community paper for people looking for friends - you aren't the only one in this position. I am now back in my home town and still only have a few (1 - 3 very good friends) and am always on the look out for more. I did recently make a friend through doing a wine appreciation course at night, and I went to learn a language once too (but they were all retired!). Find something you have always been interested in and enroll in a class. Or maybe sign up to do some community volunteer work in your community... you may not make a friend that you can go clubbing with, but you could find a great mentor or companion. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
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