Worried about disappointing me

[kat77]

My boyfriend and I have known each other for over 25 years. I am 10 years older than he is and I feel I've likely been in love with him since we met. When we met I had been divorced a couple of years. He was dating a woman, ended up marrying her. the marriage lasted 15 years with two kids. After the divorce he remarried within a year and he admits it was a rebound situation and not a good decision! he has now been divorced from that woman since 2010-11.

He moved in with me in my house in 2011. He earns almost twice as much as I do so has taken on many of the household bills -voluntarily. He is a wonderful man. I love his kids, his son is my Godson. we now have a granddaughter, and the entire family calls me her grandma. We all get along great.

He is aware the past few years that I would love to be his wife. he has waffled back and forth between saying he's thought about proposing and not wanting to marry again. I have told him numerous times that I want to be with him whether we marry or not. He has told me several times that he is committed to me without "that piece of paper." I believe him.

 

 

now to the point of this post. He is worried that he is not making me happy; that I am disappointed in HIM since he may not want to get married and he is having a hard time seeing a future, living with the knowledge that he cannot give me what I want. I told him that what I want above all is him, as a husband or not. This is eating me up and I don't know what to do.

[Grumpybutfun]

Time to sit down with him and find out where he is heading in his life. Commitment without marriage is possible and his insistence that you are disappointed in him must come from some indication you gave him concerning marriage. Otherwise, why would he believe you have to have marriage? Time to sit down and set the record straight with him. Sounds like a communication problem.

Best,

Grumps