Boyfriend said his ex gf was hotter than me during an argument... jealous & insecure

[sandylee1]

OP

 

I have a policy of kinda never looking back. The thing is while alcohol isn't likely to be irradiated from this planet , he can pretty much use it as an excuse to say nasty hurtful things to you and think it's okay to blame on the alcohol.

 

He's got some nerve telling you to go look up his Ex. I must admit I'd have been very tempted to hit him where it hurts and tell him he was a lousy lover to equal the pain, but that's just me. I know nothing gets a guy worse than telling him you've had so much better and had to fake it with him.

 

Not that I've ever said it myself and there's no need to reduce yourself to his slithering nature.

[Satu]

You've passed the point of no return.

 

Once emotional violence enters the picture, the relationship has lost whatever merit it once had.

 

End it with a minimum of drama, and go NC.

 

 

*No direct contact in either direction. No sending or receiving of messages. No replies. Block any means he might use to contact you.

*No indirect contact through third parties.

*De-friend or delete from all social media.

*No monitoring of him on social media.

*No 'little birds' feeding you news.

*Tell people that you don't want to know anything about what he is doing or saying.

 

 

Do this to help you heal, and sort out your thoughts and feelings.

 

It will take some time, but you'll get there.

 

Take care.

Edited June 25, 2015 by Satu

[anita_dolce_vita]

Thanks for taking the time to reply I guess no contact is the way to go. If he had even said "my ex is hotter than u" that wouldn't even be so bad to me, it's even worse that he actually gave me a name and said "go look her up!" It just actually emphasises to me that he meant it and putting a face to the name makes what he said feel all the more real. I can't be with someone who would degrade me like that. He can say he didn't mean it of course but obviously she has been on his mind, they seem to have mutual friends on Facebook so he must have been creeping on her. I just find it so disrespectful. She is welcome to him!

[anita_dolce_vita]

And for some messed up reason, even though I know our relationship is dead I literally can't stop looking at his ex. I view her photos online on social media almost daily, it's sick. I don't even kno what's so great about her, she didn't even seem his type. I guess u never know what anyone is thinking and I certainly can't control who he desires.

[anita_dolce_vita]

And for some messed up reason, even though I know our relationship is dead I literally can't stop looking at his ex. I view her photos online on social media almost daily, it's sick. I don't even kno what's so great about her, she didn't even seem his type. I guess u never know what anyone is thinking and I certainly can't control who he desires.

[anita_dolce_vita]

Sadly I'm his longest relationship as well, I truly thought I wasn't just second best

[Satu]

And for some messed up reason, even though I know our relationship is dead I literally can't stop looking at his ex. I view her photos online on social media almost daily, it's sick. I don't even kno what's so great about her, she didn't even seem his type. I guess u never know what anyone is thinking and I certainly can't control who he desires.

 

What happened to you can be classed as emotional trauma, in my opinion.

 

Its more than just hurt feelings, it's a blow to your sense of self, that will have to healed.

 

You will find it that it sticks in your thoughts, and that you ruminate on it quite a bit.

 

Thats totally normal and to be expected at this point.

 

Focus on your own wellbeing, and do things that make you feel good.

 

You'll get through it.

[Country_Girl]

Well this is embarrassing to tell since it's not one of my proudest moments- but when I got out of my first ever relationship of 2 years (the first guy I slept with), I was a mess. I actually threatened suicide and was taken to the ER (no I didn't do anything but he called the cops when I verbalized that).

 

The doctor evaluating me said the most profound thing to me ever. I was 19 at the time and will never forget it. He clearly saw I was distraught about the breakup. He asked me if I knew what love was, I replied, "I think so..."

 

He said, "you know what love is...I'll tell you. Love is having all the ammunition in the world to hurt a person, and not pulling the trigger".

 

Those words are burned in my mind. He was right. If me and the ex really cared about each other, we wouldn't be delivering low blows, hurting each other where it hurts most. We tell people we love what parts of us are most vulnerable, because we trust them. As receivers of that information, it's our responsibility not to stick the knife in the vein where we were told not to cut, because it will hurt.

 

I'd say move on and break up, don't do it again in the next relationship, learn from this experience.