Not knowing if my boyfriend cheated is driving me crazy

[kendahke]

I trusted him very much before that incident, even though I knew he cheated on his ex with me. But seeing what he did behind my back destroyed my trust a bit I guess, because I didn't think he'd be capable of meeting a girl behind my back, cheated or not.. So right now I'm confused and don't know what to believe.

 

If he'll do it with you, he'll do it to you.

 

This is his character. It's who he is and how he operates.

[smackie9]

You want to stay with him? Then you are going to have to give him the benefit of a doubt and leave it at that. NEXT!

[kendahke]

If he'll do it with you, he'll do it to you.

 

This is his character. It's who he is and how he operates.

 

 

to add: He is more than capable of doing the very same thing to you as he did to his ex with you. He is so capable with it, he's comfortable in it. There is nothing to be confused about here.

 

This is his character. It's who he is and how he operates. He cheats while in relationships, breaks up, gets with his cheating partner and goes and finds someone else to cheat it. Rinse and repeat.

[Floveet]

Come on, how can you say he's "more than capable"

He did it once in the past.

 

Doesn't mean he will do it again.

 

They are together for three years.

What i see is an other problem deeper than what is written .

 

Are you sure SpiritGirl that everything is ok ?

I feel it is more a lack of attention that you have. You insist a lot on the "Travelling", sometimes there are some moments where you feel low, it doesn't mean bad things are happening around you.

 

From what i read, and i can only consider that the truth, your boyfriend seems to be a really nice guy, calm and taking his time to explain to you a situation.

 

You don't looks like to be someone jealous at all, more about lacking of confidence those days or months.

 

That happen. And you should talk with him about that instead of going into this "stupid situation"

 

Yes he deleted messages and pictures of a innocent talk.

So do I sometimes when i don't want to worry my Girlfriend even i know i didn't do anything, because i think that it's something that is not important but at the same time, that i prefer her to avoid depending of the situation she's meeting.

 

Example :

She's feeling low, lack of confidence; I will be careful and delete some texts .

She's feeling energetic and always happy, i will not even delete the flirty message i receive because i know that she will not care and even laugh about it

 

.

[mg101]

I know people can change but like they say, the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior. I personally wouldn't let this go that easily especially since it's still bothering you. Why should YOU have to emotionally suffer for his actions (whatever they actually may have been). You deserve answers. Do what you need to do to get them to your satisfaction and don't feel ridiculous for it either. He should've been honest from the beginning if it was nothing and he definitely shouldn't have deleted parts then all of the whatsapp convo. Your desire for more definitive answers is justified imo.

[kendahke]

Come on, how can you say he's "more than capable"

He did it once in the past.

 

Doesn't mean he will do it again.

 

Past is prologue.

 

He's done it before, he's doing it now--to OP and THAT is what matters. If it wasn't his "go to" move, he wouldn't be doing it, period.

 

OP was the participant last time; this time, she's the one being insulted by his behavior.

 

So yeah, I can say it--

il est plus que capable

él es más que capaz

он более чем способен

他不止能够

彼ができるよりも多くのです

그가 할 수있는 것보다 더

ọ bụ ihe karịrị ike

anh ấy nhiều hơn khả năng

dia lebih daripada mampu

[Qboro90]

Why don't you tell him that this issue is still bothering you and you know it sounds crazy, over the top, jealousy etc but it's just eating at you due to the history you've had and reason you two began dating anyway. You've tried to talk to friends and others about getting past it but just haven't been able to so ask him if he would be willing to call her and discuss the situation/trip with her. If you do this though you need to do it right then and there to prevent him from warning her first.

 

If he's shifty about doing it and offers excuses as to why she won't pick up or not wanting to do it then that's a big red flag. Will he ever see this girl again by the way? I'm asking bc if you did this there's a high probability it ruins his friendship with her if that's what it really is. So you're basically asking him to call this girl because his gf( you) is bugging out over something that happened months ago to ease her mind. You still may not believe him.

 

Honestly the best move may be just to do your best to let this go or trust your bf and close friend were honest with you. If they've never given you reason to doubt them then why start now. Everything they said made sense and matched. That's really tough to do if you're lying about cheating. There will always be something that doesn't match or a missed detail.