15Love Posted June 25, 2015 Share Posted June 25, 2015 (edited) Sigh. So reading oldsoul86's side of the story got me confused about how my guy might be feeling. I broke no contact because I thought he might be missing me too. Of course no response 5 hours later. This is so pathetic. Why couldn't I glean from oldsouls side of things that as much as he's sad ...he ACTUALLY DOESNT WANT TO HEAR FROM HER! Like sincerely doesn't want to hear from her. Which is so hard to understand considering the feelings both have. Agggghhhh. NC restart. Again. I just want to die already. Does LS sometimes make things harder?! Edited June 25, 2015 by 15Love 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Yummm Posted June 25, 2015 Share Posted June 25, 2015 Ahhh i'm so sorry. Looking at Oldsoul's posts were making me think too, but I didn't react because it doesn't matter. We are moving on and aren't trying to get these people back in our lives, I also know that I will only feel 10 times worse if I act on anything to break NC. Atleast you know and won't do it again.. stay strong 1 Link to post Share on other sites
OldSoul86 Posted June 25, 2015 Share Posted June 25, 2015 Sigh. So reading oldsoul86's side of the story got me confused about how my guy might be feeling. I broke no contact because I thought he might be missing me too. Of course no response 5 hours later. This is so pathetic. Why couldn't I glean from oldsouls side of things that as much as he's sad ...he ACTUALLY DOESNT WANT TO HEAR FROM HER! Like sincerely doesn't want to hear from her. Which is so hard to understand considering the feelings both have. Agggghhhh. NC restart. Again. I just want to die already. Does LS sometimes make things harder?! I'm sorry that you didn't get a response 15Love. The feelings I have for her are what is making my situation difficult. I just know that by staying in a relationship with my ex would not be ideal for me. That does not mean that I instantly stopped loving or caring about her. I feel bad that my situation made you reach out, I apologize. Everyone reacts to a breakup differently, and it is impossible to say that if someone dumps someone else that, A.) They'll feel bad - because we really don't know how the other person truly feels, and B.) Will try their best to give some sense of closure when the dumpee reaches out. I just have a tremendous amount of empathy and compassion for her - because I know what it feels like to get dumped on my ass, and while I genuinely love and care about my ex, it doesn't mean that I want to get back together with her - we're too different and want different things from our lives. I guess as cliche as it sounds, I let her go with love because she deserves someone better suited for her - as do I. Hearing from an ex, unless there is a hope of reconciliation just makes things harder and ultimately prolongs the weening off process that two people must endure when a relationship ends. If there's anything else I can clarify - let me know please. Best, OS Link to post Share on other sites
OldSoul86 Posted June 25, 2015 Share Posted June 25, 2015 Ahhh i'm so sorry. Looking at Oldsoul's posts were making me think too, but I didn't react because it doesn't matter. We are moving on and aren't trying to get these people back in our lives, I also know that I will only feel 10 times worse if I act on anything to break NC. Atleast you know and won't do it again.. stay strong Each situation is unique, and it is impossible to apply some sort of universal rule or etiquette post breakup. It ultimately depends on the relationship, and the two people involved. You are absolutely right to stay NC and move on - especially if there's no hope of reconciliation. Link to post Share on other sites
Author 15Love Posted June 25, 2015 Author Share Posted June 25, 2015 Ahhh i'm so sorry. Looking at Oldsoul's posts were making me think too, but I didn't react because it doesn't matter. We are moving on and aren't trying to get these people back in our lives, I also know that I will only feel 10 times worse if I act on anything to break NC. Atleast you know and won't do it again.. stay strong Thanks for the supportive words. There's nothing worse then the creeping realization that they are not going to respond. Glad you did better then me! I'll remember your example next time. Link to post Share on other sites
Author 15Love Posted June 25, 2015 Author Share Posted June 25, 2015 If there's anything else I can clarify - let me know please. how are you so level headed?? I want to be this stable!! Were you always this way? Has anyone made you come undone or are you always practical? I know you're extremly hurt by your situation but most people in pain act out in some way. Do you have another outlet? Or are you just endlessly reasonable. I'm not being sarcastic. I'd pay money to be as even keeled as you!! Link to post Share on other sites
OldSoul86 Posted June 26, 2015 Share Posted June 26, 2015 how are you so level headed?? I want to be this stable!! Were you always this way? Has anyone made you come undone or are you always practical? I know you're extremly hurt by your situation but most people in pain act out in some way. Do you have another outlet? Or are you just endlessly reasonable. I'm not being sarcastic. I'd pay money to be as even keeled as you!! No, I was definitely not this way always. Back in my mid twenties I had my heart stomped on by a girl I was in a serious relationship with for almost 3 years. I was getting ready to pop the question within a few months but she ended up falling out of love with me. I guess having been on both sides of the envelope has helped me get clarity. I know what it is like to have my heart shattered - and I made a vow to myself when I recovered from that breakup, and that was, if I ever had to dump someone - I would do so like a caring human being because I knew the pain of a cold, calculated, and callous ending. As for an outlet, I am blessed to have an amazing group of friends and family who've rallied around me during this difficult time. I also exercise on a daily basis, and read a ton of blogs and breakup books to help clarify my thoughts. I also dabble in video games, because it is nice to disconnect for a brief period of time. Tomorrow, I start my first counseling session too - so I can gain additional insight and clarity. I am pretty much doing everything under the sun to help me get back on my feet! I think the other reason I am so level headed is that I literally have no choice but to move on with my life. I don't want to be perpetually stuck in my past. My ex and I are fundamentally incompatible and had I continued my relationship with her, I would be cheating myself out of a partner that will help me accomplish all of my hopes and dreams. Eventually, I want to find someone who wants the same things in life that I do (mainly kids.) Eventually, I want to find someone who I don't have to cross an international border to go visit once a month or so. I'm trying to be hopeful, if we don't have hope in this life - we literally have nothing else. What we do today has to prepare us for a better tomorrow - don't forget that ever. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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