Sex Talk

[nabul (I am not the author)]

Communication is always a difficult business, talking sex is even more difficult. Sex talk is about sharing feelings, intentions, fantasies. Many people do not realize how sex is powerful. It was originally made to create new life. Simultaneously, humankind created myths and superstitions around it as an attempt to control sexual behavior.

 

As a consequence, many parents don't know what is right or wrong, legal or illegal, normal and abnormal in sex. So, therefore, these parents tend to avoid discussing sexual issues with their children, who grow up and make their own children without talking about it.Ignorance is perpetuated in this way.

 

Once I met a woman, who was dating a man for over six months. They started having sex two months after they met. One morning, after spending the night together, the woman rang him in tears. She told him that she forgot to take the pill. Then the man revealed that he was born sterile, and couldn't have children.

 

First time sex between two adults tends to be a very exciting experience. It usually happens in a climate of thrill and passion, with very little breath to tell the other what they really like.

 

As if nobody knew, the body always responds to touch, in one way or another. However,many puritans defend the idea that "love is the key to a good sex life", discouraging candid talk about parts of the body that cause sexual excitement, and how they should be touched.

 

A man said he was very upset, because he was always available to have sex with his partner, but she didn't want him. He suspected she was being unfaithful. When they decided to seek professional help, the woman declared that lying in bed with him was as boring as lying with a Teddy bear. The man had premature ejaculation, and believed that she could achieve an orgasm automatically, as soon as he entered her.

 

His premature ejaculation was quickly solved by using special techniques, with which he learned to reduce his excitement, and stop just before he couldn't stop anymore. The woman was encouraged to speak up and say exactly what she wanted to do and done to her.

 

Their relationship obviously worked out, after sorting out their differences, similarities, and setting goals to be achieved in common. They learned to have great sex, after learning to communicate properly.

 

Other couples, however, don't even have a chance to start talking sex. Once a man asked his girlfriend in his first date: "When did you last have sex?" They were drinking wine. She threw it on his face, and left. People never know what reactions they get when talking about sex. Sometimes not even the "how to" books help. So therefore, it is always good to use rational arguments in case somebody feels hurt about sex talk.

 

When a couple is ready to start having sex, questions like "How often?" "Tell me all about your best experiences!" "Who did you have sex with?" are often unnecessary. Every couple is different. Partners are likely to have different sexual needs within different relationships. The best past experiences may not work in a new relationship. The past should stay in the past, it doesn't really matter who are the ex-partners, nor what they did together.Managing risks, however, is a very important reason for communication.

 

Everybody has the right to find out what is safe or unsafe. Asking about risks of getting sexually transmitted diseases is certainly every partner's right. Pregnancy can be a real problem as well, cause a lot of distress, and affect innocent lives by irresponsible actions of adults. Asking about contraception or intention to conceive is something that must be done.

 

And last, but not least, asking what the other partner likes and wants is absolutely essential. Some books might tell that the clitoris is the most sensitive area of a woman's sexual organs. Then one tries and touch it, just to get complaints that it is hurting. Books could be wrong, or they could be right, but one didn't learn how to do it properly, who knows? The only way to find out is by asking questions and getting answers.

 

In fact, practice is the best master of sex talk.

[Tony T]

Very good article. I think it is good to practice as often as possible. Also good to note copyrights of copyrighted articles, if applicable. Always good to at least disclose the source when reprinting articles.

 

Thanks for sharing, to you and the unknown author.

[unnamed]

nt