ready2moveon Posted June 26, 2015 Share Posted June 26, 2015 Ok, so I just separated with my soon to be xw of 9 years. She has severe mental problems and spent a week in inpatient treatment (phyc ward) and promised to do the treatments and suggestions they gave her. As soon as she got released she told me she wasn't going to do anymore. She thinks a service dog will fix everything. She started to get progressively more angry and violent. It got to the point that I couldn't take anymore and didn't feel safe in the home. I left, my family has helped and I have moved back in with my parents. I am going to therapy. Its only been about 3 weeks but she signed the divorce papers and I have everything I need/want. She still has outbursts and has pushed every one out of her life. My therapist said that I should have no guilt or remorse for what I did. I haven't slept this good in YEARS! I feel better the more I'm away. I have got my **** together, I have been hurt for so long and she had refused to do ANYTHING around the house. I am working 2 jobs, I do the wash, the dishes, I clean the house. I have felt more like a parent than a husband for awhile. I was sad for a few days, but I honestly feel relived. The anger has pasted, and every day I fell great. I feel myself becoming more like my self. I didn't realize how I had just shut down my normal friendly self, I was just sucked into taking care of somebody who had no care or concern for my well being or concerns. So the big question- I am looking on match. What is too soon? I feel ready to try dating again, I'm up front and honest, no questions are off the table, I just am looking for a friend that may develop in to something but I just crave adult interaction. I am trying to busy, but I just want to date again. Is this too soon ? or just be honest with people as I plan? thanks for reading, pm with any questions I can get more in depth and explain more Link to post Share on other sites
Clay Posted June 26, 2015 Share Posted June 26, 2015 Well I would say most of the time its to soon but it sounds like she really killed the love you had for her. I would go out and date but I would make it clear you are looking for mainly a friend. Keep the door open to a possible relationship but take your time. Best of all this is just enjoy yourself. Really relearn you and what you like. My xW was a cheater and a abuser. It really felt good to finally walk away from that. I didn't have the best of luck dating but in time I found the right woman and remarried and life has been so much better since. I hope you find the same peace. Clay Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted June 26, 2015 Share Posted June 26, 2015 Its only been about 3 weeks but she signed the divorce papers and I have everything I need/want. You're moving at warp speed. How do you get divorce papers - and signed - in 3 weeks? Ask yourself what type of woman dates a man who has been separated for less than a month? You may find that fact filters out those you'd have the most interest in. Group activities - coed team sports, running or biking club, chess or book club, etc. - can be a low-key way for the newly single to interact with the opposite sex with no pressure. Good luck and keep posting... Mr. Lucky 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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