Concreteman78 Posted June 27, 2015 Share Posted June 27, 2015 So...I met a girl, hit it off good. Moved from Indiana to Arizona to be closer to her family, had a son, moved back to Indiana. Got divorced. She moved back to az with my son. Now she's not happy out there a day is wanting to move back. Expcept shes going to live with my mom until she can get her own place. What the hell...... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
loveweary11 Posted June 27, 2015 Share Posted June 27, 2015 So...I met a girl, hit it off good. Moved from Indiana to Arizona to be closer to her family, had a son, moved back to Indiana. Got divorced. She moved back to az with my son. Now she's not happy out there a day is wanting to move back. Expcept shes going to live with my mom until she can get her own place. What the hell...... Jeez... and I thought it was bad when my mom invited my ex- inlaws to a party last year! This is nuts! Link to post Share on other sites
casey.lives Posted June 27, 2015 Share Posted June 27, 2015 she has your kid.. she has THE KEY...for life!! you should go find her and marry her and take care of her. she's your responsibility- not your sweet old mom's 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mrs rubble Posted June 27, 2015 Share Posted June 27, 2015 So...I met a girl, hit it off good. Moved from Indiana to Arizona to be closer to her family, had a son, moved back to Indiana. Got divorced. She moved back to az with my son. Now she's not happy out there a day is wanting to move back. Expcept shes going to live with my mom until she can get her own place. What the hell...... I think it's wonderful your ex-wife and mother can get along, great for your son, that he'll get to stay with his grandma and see you more regularly.....shame you're not over it enough to offer them a place to stay until she finds her own. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
loveweary11 Posted June 27, 2015 Share Posted June 27, 2015 Whoops. Missed the kid part. Link to post Share on other sites
Tayla Posted June 27, 2015 Share Posted June 27, 2015 In your case, it sounds like you an the ex do not have positive rapport, it happens. Try to find the good in it that your child will be in good hands. Has the courts been notified? What is your concern on this living arrangement? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Concreteman78 Posted June 27, 2015 Author Share Posted June 27, 2015 My ex and I had an ugly divorce Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted June 27, 2015 Share Posted June 27, 2015 So...I met a girl, hit it off good. Moved from Indiana to Arizona to be closer to her family, had a son, moved back to Indiana. Got divorced. She moved back to az with my son. Now she's not happy out there a day is wanting to move back. Expcept shes going to live with my mom until she can get her own place. What the hell...... Your mom probably wants to spend time with her grandson. I can see this being a big reason why she is allowing your ex to move in until she's able to get on her own two feet. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
mrs rubble Posted June 27, 2015 Share Posted June 27, 2015 My ex and I had an ugly divorce Time heals. I know it's a cliché but it truly does! Be grateful for having your son closer to you, lots of people would give anything to be near their children. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
understand50 Posted June 27, 2015 Share Posted June 27, 2015 (edited) Time heals. I know it's a cliché but it truly does! Be grateful for having your son closer to you, lots of people would give anything to be near their children. Concreteman78, My Grandmother (father's mother) and my mother, (father's Ex) Got along well. Visited, helped each other out, and so fourth. Remember, she is the mother of you child, her grandson. She is independent, and if she wants to have a relationship to keep in touch with her grandson, it is going to happen. You need to realize that it is not all about you. It is about her Grandson. I am sure she is happy that they are moving closer, and you are going to have to be OK with your ex and your mother having a relationship. In the end this is the best thing for your KID, and you can see more of him and be in his life. I think it is a big win for you. Here is what I wrote on another thread: "is it normal..." OP farrah5451 Remember, she is tied by blood. They share children together. My mother, after divorcing my father, still visited and did things, with his mother, my grandmother. They had a connection, and my grandmother helped nurse my mother when she was dieing of cancer. My aunts and others all visited and kept good relations with my mother, and step mother, after dad remarried. This was with my two parents not wanting to be in the same room together, unless they needed too. This went back a generation, as my Grandmother was the second wife, but when she got sick, in the 1920's, my grandfather sent his son, from his 2nd wife, to his first wife who looked after him for 18 months. My father was 3 years at the time. My dad, just knew her as a Aunt, and was very close to her all his life until she pasted. My Dad was a lawyer and when she was being taken advantage of, in later life, Dad went out of his way to help her. We were introduced to her as a aunt as young children, and did not know she was the first wife until later. So...... I think it is what works, and in my grandparents generation, care and protection of children always came first. In my parents case, his family had known my mother sense she was 9 years, and they were not going to give up the relationship. I wish you luck. Edited June 27, 2015 by understand50 Spelling as always...... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted June 27, 2015 Share Posted June 27, 2015 Your mom is doing this because she wants to benefit the grandson, but in many ways, you're right, it's putting you in an awkward situation. Although if it is only temporary, she should find a place soon and that part will be over, so not so bad. Your ex doesn't want to get back with you, doesn't sound like, so don't think it's a matter of you inviting her. If she had wanted to, doubt she'd have asked your mom to help her out. But this is your child, so your ex probably does want you to have responsibility in his life, without getting back together with you. She will need some help from the father taking care of the child. You are lucky because your mother is probably going to bail you out on that, but you do need to step up and cooperate with her long enough to put a scheduled custody plan in place so she can work and make a living too. Good luck. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
newmoon Posted June 27, 2015 Share Posted June 27, 2015 i could totally see my own mom doing something like this for my brother's ex. it's about the grandchild, 100% 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Noproblem Posted June 27, 2015 Share Posted June 27, 2015 (edited) You know it's not your decision not your right to judge or anything This woman is now your ex and she has right to stay wherever she is welcomed it can be the at the janitor's house or your mom's your mom obviously fond of her or fond of your your little son so yeah, let them be! Why it's bothering you? DO you still want her! Maybe it's a good thing then that she is gonna be near you! do you hate her? Well if that is the case, this is not healthy because you have a son and she is gonna be part of your life you have to learn to treat her like a friend( fake friend) Edited June 27, 2015 by Noproblem 1 Link to post Share on other sites
eye of the storm Posted June 28, 2015 Share Posted June 28, 2015 My sister has 2 ExHs. Both divorces were bitter. Last month my mom had issues and needed help in her backyard. None of us kids live near, so I called and offered to pay for someone to come over. She told me not to worry, she had run into the 1st ExH in the grocery store and he offered to come over and work in her yard and the 1st ExH ran into the 2nd ExH at the gas station and he came over too. I agree that your mom may be trying to keep a good relationship with the ExW to stay in contact with the grandchild. And if she is smart that is exactly what she is doing. Just appreciate that your child is being taken care of and given a chance to know your family. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mrs rubble Posted June 28, 2015 Share Posted June 28, 2015 Your other thread says your moving away anyway, so why do you care? Link to post Share on other sites
lollipopspot Posted June 29, 2015 Share Posted June 29, 2015 My sister has 2 ExHs. Both divorces were bitter. Last month my mom had issues and needed help in her backyard. None of us kids live near, so I called and offered to pay for someone to come over. She told me not to worry, she had run into the 1st ExH in the grocery store and he offered to come over and work in her yard and the 1st ExH ran into the 2nd ExH at the gas station and he came over too. I agree that your mom may be trying to keep a good relationship with the ExW to stay in contact with the grandchild. And if she is smart that is exactly what she is doing. Just appreciate that your child is being taken care of and given a chance to know your family. I agree with your last sentence, and as painful as it can be, people have their own relationships with those with whom we may not get along. Barring if the marital relationship was abusive, rather than just a mismatch, that's o.k. It's good that the mom has someone to help her out, and good that the child has good family relationships. Link to post Share on other sites
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