Venting and Sadness

[Southern Sun]

I am married and ended my affair with xMM. I have more awful memories than good ones, but even with that, there have been times (more often earlier in my recovery), when I've been hit with a feeling of nostalgia that makes it tempting to reach out. Don't get me wrong - I am no longer in a place where there is any desire in me to actually do that. But I am sharing this with you because I wanted to pass on some things that helped me.

 

I've kept a journal for a long time. As I was starting to break free from him (and it was tough, because it seemed his goal was to lure me back over and over into his spider web), I began to make note of my feelings every time I allowed him to suck me back in. Generally, what I noted was that, if I could bottle my feelings at the time, I would never, ever go back. So I recorded them in an effort to remind myself.

 

I recorded all the double-talk, all the confusing things he said. I recorded his manipulative acts. And then I recorded how I began to feel better and better the further I got away from him.

 

All of those things helped me see the truth if I ever began to get confused later.

 

Best of luck to you.

[Josmatjes]

I was good friends with mm for years before anything started and then our affair was almost two years....then for the past year it was confusion and him doing this push pull thing.....finally..I had enough....

I understand that you lose a major part of your life but you are going to get back a part of yourself that got buried under the affair. You don't even realize that you are sacrificing who you are when you are knee deep in it!

 

I blocked him and I implore you to do the same...it was hard but now I'm 8 weeks and I finally feel free and I don't think of him....you can't change the way people are but you can change yourself....I know it's still fresh for you but don't do what I did and let him in every few months...that only prolongs the hurt, rip him off like a bandaid!!