He called me FAT and I ended things

[BlueIris]

I'd have more respect for him if he DID say it to her face. People that talk crap behind others backs are dishonest. Own up to your thoughts and either speak directly to the person, or keep your mouth shut.

 

I don't tell my friends anything about my girlfriend or relationship that I wouldn't also say to her face. She is the same.

 

I also wouldn't tolerate a friend or any of my siblings saying bad sh/t about others to me. It's not right.

 

That's the way I see it too. I wouldn't want to continue a relationship with someone who was not sincere with me.

[fitnessfan365]

Did she violate his privacy? Yes. But it's terrible that he'd talk that much crap about a woman he supposedly cares about. Personally, I HATE whiners. Instead of complaining to his sister and hiding his true feelings, he should have taken action. But do so in a positive/encouraging way.

 

Example - "Janey, I know you love to run. But marathoners always end up getting injured because they don't lift. So I want you to start hitting the weights with me so you don't get hurt. Besides, nothing would turn me on more than watching you do squats and lunges in front of me baby"

 

Something like that gets the point across. But it makes her feel good, creates a bond because they'd do it together, and she'd associate that type of workout with something he finds attractive. Then she'd not only look forward to their shared activity, but she'd feel motivated to lift her ass off, start buying outfits to show off her hard work, etc.. But instead, he chooses to whine in secret like a p**sy and talk down about the woman he supposedly cares about.

Edited June 28, 2015 by fitnessfan365

[JaneyJ1991]

The most important thing is, it's over. Live and learn.

 

Funny last side note: Isn't it odd how often, when you're saying goodbye to someone, you don't even realize you are? That was Thursday night with him.

 

Three nights ago (Thursday afternoon), after I got off work, I went over there to finish a movie with him. It was over 90 degrees out, so on my way, I picked up 2 different ice cream bars. I hardly ever eat ice cream, but it was hot, and I thought it would be nice. When I got to his house, I let him pick which one he wanted and we sat out and ate ice cream.

 

Thursday night, we went back to his place, and we were dancing in the kitchen (my idea--I was spinning him and trying to dip him and we were cracking up laughing).

 

It's so funny now, looking back, that was basically going to be my last good memory with him. My goodbye without even knowing it.

 

He sleeps with (seriously, alongside) a giant sport fish pillow I bought him for his birthday present (it's like 5 feet long and really comfy), I made and brought cookies from scratch to his family bbq (because you know, a fatty like me knows good cookie recipes from trying so many:o). The lotion that sits on his dresser, and the lube he gets off with (I know a really good kind, and I got some for him) is from me. Reminders of me are all around his room.

 

Driving him back Friday night, after I confronted him, I had so many terrible things I wanted to say, "There's so many mean things I want to say to you right now, and I can't bring myself to say them." Because I don't want him to feel the way I feel right now. I want his last memory of me to be that I wasn't cruel.

 

I hope he has a great life. And I hope the Victoria secret models shower him with homemade cookies, birthday gifts, dreamsicles and all that in addition to being hot.

Edited June 28, 2015 by JaneyJ1991

[kenmore]

FWIW, I think you did the right thing Janey. Regardless of what he said to you, if he had those feelings about you they would have manifested eventually. I agree with the posters who said it was dishonest, not only not telling you his real feelings, but taking you to get pizza and then secretly resenting it inside? A part of me thinks maybe he was trying to change himself. To practice "loosening up a bit" (he's obviously uptight about body mass index.) Either way, it's a form of dishonesty though.

 

Also FWIW, I love pizza! I'm making one tonight. It's one of those things I reward myself with for re-inventing my life from scratch. My problem is I have too many of those!

 

Ken

[guest569]

Ignore his lame apology, no contact i say

[Timshel]

I'd have more respect for him if he DID say it to her face. People that talk crap behind others backs are dishonest. Own up to your thoughts and either speak directly to the person, or keep your mouth shut.

 

I don't tell my friends anything about my girlfriend or relationship that I wouldn't also say to her face. She is the same.

 

I also wouldn't tolerate a friend or any of my siblings saying bad sh/t about others to me. It's not right.

 

Yep, can't hurt to repeat this.

[trippi1432]

easy peasy.. because an apology is ALWAYS about what was done wrong by the person giving the apology, the moment he blamed her for anything it was NO longer an apology.

 

ie: pulled out of the air...

 

"I'm sorry I yelled at you but you made me mad isn't an apology, it blames the person you are saying the apology to."

 

IMO, till his next one

 

The guy trash talked her to his family.. there is no recovering from that one

 

Apologies, just reading back and WOW!! Katie?? Really? Art Critic is 100% on the money with this response.

 

I spent 15 years with those types of apologies....there is 0% happiness in that kind of future.

[katiegrl]

Apologies, just reading back and WOW!! Katie?? Really? Art Critic is 100% on the money with this response.

 

I spent 15 years with those types of apologies....there is 0% happiness in that kind of future.

 

I know! Read on...I was wrong and stand (stood?) corrected! One of my later posts.....

 

My bad! Y'all were right....: (

[katiegrl]

And to Janey....if you return here....did you ever respond back to him?

[Gaeta]

"There's so many mean things I want to say to you right now, and I can't bring myself to say them." Because I don't want him to feel the way I feel right now. I want his last memory of me to be that I wasn't cruel.

 

What a beautiful thing to say. There is someone fantastic waiting for you Janey.

[JaneyJ1991]

And to Janey....if you return here....did you ever respond back to him?

 

I haven't. I might still, but I've been really busy. And I'd need to figure out what to say without being hateful or nice.

In other news...I did go on tinder this morning. I hadn't unmatched him on there yet. It told me he was active 11 hours ago. So clearly, he's been pretty torn up about this.

[guest569]

I haven't. I might still, but I've been really busy. And I'd need to figure out what to say without being hateful or nice.

In other news...I did go on tinder this morning. I hadn't unmatched him on there yet. It told me he was active 11 hours ago. So clearly, he's been pretty torn up about this.

 

Its over, nothing more to say. Onwards and upwards.

[katiegrl]

I haven't. I might still, but I've been really busy. And I'd need to figure out what to say without being hateful or nice.

In other news...I did go on tinder this morning. I hadn't unmatched him on there yet. It told me he was active 11 hours ago.

 

**So clearly, he's been pretty torn up about this.**

 

Oh I have NO doubt he's torn up.

 

Call me crazy.....but this isn't over. Oh I know for YOU it's over, but not for him.

 

Often times, a man doesn't appreciate what he has until it's gone...

 

Now you're gone.....he's going to start feeling things for you he never felt before...like LONGING.

 

I believe LONGING is what he felt for that other chick too...LONGING for someone you either never had.....or lost...is extremely powerful. Many people mistake that LONGING feeling for love even.

 

Right now he is starting to long for you... I would bank money on it.

[katiegrl]

I haven't. I might still, but I've been really busy. And I'd need to figure out what to say without being hateful or nice.

In other news...I did go on tinder this morning. I hadn't unmatched him on there yet. It told me he was active 11 hours ago.

 

**So clearly, he's been pretty torn up about this.**

 

Oh I have NO doubt he's torn up.

 

Call me crazy.....but this isn't over. Oh I know for YOU it's over, but not for him.

 

Often times, a man doesn't realize or appreciate what he has until it's gone...

 

Now you're gone.....he's going to start feeling things for you he never felt before...like LONGING.

 

I believe LONGING is what he felt for that other chick too.

 

LONGING for someone you either never had.....or lost...is extremely powerful. Many people mistake that LONGING feeling for love even.

 

Right now he is starting to long for you... I would bank money on it.

[JaneyJ1991]

Oh I have NO doubt he's torn up.

 

Call me crazy.....but this isn't over. Oh I know for YOU it's over, but not for him.

 

Often times, a man doesn't realize or appreciate what he has until it's gone...

 

Now you're gone.....he's going to start feeling things for you he never felt before...like LONGING.

 

I believe LONGING is what he felt for that other chick too.

 

LONGING for someone you either never had.....or lost...is extremely powerful. Many people mistake that LONGING feeling for love even.

 

Right now he is starting to long for you... I would bank money on it.

 

 

 

So this afternoon..I went and looked at his ex girlfriend in Europe's profile, because she just changed her profile pic to a new glamour shot (she's gorgeous). It was posted like 20 hours ago. Guess who's already liked it? Yep. The guy is definitely missing me.

 

 

He is now unfriended on facebook, snapchat and unmatched on tinder (which it said I think he was active 1 hour ago, when I went to his profile to unmatch him?) Anyways. He's gone. He should be so happy!

 

 

In other news, I have what I'm freaking out is POTENTIALLY a cold sore on my lip. I tested negative for HSV1 and HSV2 last month. He's the one who's potentially HSV2 positive (we're not sure if it was orally or genitally). So I'm hoping that's NOT what it is, from kissing him. I really don't want a reminder of him to have to carry with me for the rest of my life. Got it tested today and hoping it comes back negative and was just a really angry zit.

Edited June 29, 2015 by JaneyJ1991

[katiegrl]

So this afternoon..I went and looked at his ex girlfriend in Europe's profile, because she just changed her profile pic to a new glamour shot (she's gorgeous). It was posted like 20 hours ago. Guess who's already liked it? Yep. The guy is definitely missing me.

 

He is now unfriended on facebook, snapchat and unmatched on tinder (which it said I think he was active 1 hour ago, when I went to his profile to unmatch him?) Anyways. He's gone. He should be so happy!

 

In other news, I have what I'm freaking out is POTENTIALLY a cold sore on my lip. I tested negative for HSV1 and HSV2 last month. He's the one who's potentially HSV2 positive (we're not sure if it was orally or genitally). So I'm hoping that's NOT what it is, from kissing him. I really don't want a reminder of him to have to carry with me for the rest of my life. Got it tested today and hoping it comes back negative and was just a really angry zit.

 

 

You know Janey....take back everything I said in that post... I am so sorry.

 

I don't know why I have been so quick to defend this asshat....he is a complete a utter shyt!!

 

Good for you for defriending him on social media...and again I am so sorry.

 

I spose I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt...that he "might" have a morsel of integrity....but for the love of god... for him to send you that apology (which everyone saw right through except ME)...knowing he was still pining away for that other chick...is just beyond my comprehension I guess.

 

Arghh! I am so frustrated at myself for not seeing through his BS. Shame on me...

 

I hope your sore is okay...probably just a coldsore...I get them sometimes when I am really stressed.

 

Keep us posted!

[Gaeta]

 

In other news, I have what I'm freaking out is POTENTIALLY a cold sore on my lip. I tested negative for HSV1 and HSV2 last month. He's the one who's potentially HSV2 positive (we're not sure if it was orally or genitally). So I'm hoping that's NOT what it is, from kissing him. I really don't want a reminder of him to have to carry with me for the rest of my life. Got it tested today and hoping it comes back negative and was just a really angry zit.

 

It's just hsv-1 oral if it's a cold sore at all. You would have it eventually as by the age of 40 something like 80% of population has contracted it.

 

Your last month could have been a positive, you had not been in contact long enough with him to build antibodies. I assure you - you do NOT have hsv-2 on the mouth.

[phineas]

So this afternoon..I went and looked at his ex girlfriend in Europe's profile, because she just changed her profile pic to a new glamour shot (she's gorgeous). It was posted like 20 hours ago. Guess who's already liked it? Yep. The guy is definitely missing me.

 

 

He is now unfriended on facebook, snapchat and unmatched on tinder (which it said I think he was active 1 hour ago, when I went to his profile to unmatch him?) Anyways. He's gone. He should be so happy!

 

 

In other news, I have what I'm freaking out is POTENTIALLY a cold sore on my lip. I tested negative for HSV1 and HSV2 last month. He's the one who's potentially HSV2 positive (we're not sure if it was orally or genitally). So I'm hoping that's NOT what it is, from kissing him. I really don't want a reminder of him to have to carry with me for the rest of my life. Got it tested today and hoping it comes back negative and was just a really angry zit.

 

good. except the cold sore thing.

Nothing worse than someone who cyber-stalks an ex.

[JaneyJ1991]

Your last month could have been a positive, you had not been in contact long enough with him to build antibodies..

 

Gaeta, do you mean I could have caught it from him, and have not developed the antibodies yet, back then, but have just caught it from him?

[Gaeta]

Gaeta, do you mean I could have caught it from him, and have not developed the antibodies yet, back then, but have just caught it from him?

 

It takes 8 weeks, after infection, to show up in a blood test. You could have caught it on your first kiss, or your last kiss. From your last kiss count 8 weeks then get tested if it's really bothering you but like I said, hsv-1 isn't a big deal, and you do not, I repeat you do not have hsv-2 on mouth.

[JaneyJ1991]

It takes 8 weeks, after infection, to show up in a blood test. You could have caught it on your first kiss, or your last kiss. From your last kiss count 8 weeks then get tested if it's really bothering you but like I said, hsv-1 isn't a big deal, and you do not, I repeat you do not have hsv-2 on mouth.

 

Gaeta, he was tested twice and came back NEGATIVE for HSV1 both times (but low positive values for HSV2, both times as well). So even if the tests miss some HSV1 cases...Id think between the two tests, one would have come back positive for HSV1 if he had it.

 

My HSV1 values were at less than .02 (instead of like .04-.07 which would indicate still negative but present antibodies to the virus, like if Id contracted it 4 weeks prior and my index values were still climbing). We'd been kissing for 5-6 weeks prior to my first test, as well.

 

Does that make sense?

[PogoStick]

Which is WHY I FIND that comment ironic. And you can tell that when I come over or we go out..He never ever has tried to dress up/clean up to look nice for me.

 

Yeah, but he's "swole". As long as he wears an undersized shirt his biceps will do all the work.

[Gaeta]

My HSV1 values were at less than .02 (instead of like .04-.07 which would indicate still negative but present antibodies to the virus, like if Id contracted it 4 weeks prior and my index values were still climbing). We'd been kissing for 5-6 weeks prior to my first test, as well.

 

Does that make sense?

 

 

There is no such a thing as .02 but it's negative. If you have antibodies in your system, at any level, it's because you are fighting the virus - you have it. You have hsv-1 and you're having an outbreak due to stress and emotional turmoil. Simple as that. Your next test should show a higher level as your body had more time to build antibodies.

 

ETA: It doesn't mean you got it from him, you could have gotten it from ANYONE you kissed on the cheek in the past couple of months including family and friends.

[PogoStick]

There is no such a thing as .02 but it's negative. If you have antibodies in your system, at any level, it's because you are fighting the virus - you have it. You have hsv-1 and you're having an outbreak due to stress and emotional turmoil. Simple as that. Your next test should show a higher level as your body had more time to build antibodies.

 

ETA: It doesn't mean you got it from him, you could have gotten it from ANYONE you kissed on the cheek in the past couple of months including family and friends.

 

Gaeta, this is completely false. See here.

 

To help everyone understand, here are some quotes from a physician interpreting such tests:

A test with 2.1:

"Probably you are infected with HSV-2. [note this was results of the HSV2 test] However, the numerical value of your HSV-2 test is in a low positive range; definitely infected people usually have values of 3.5 or higher.

 

"Reference range <.90" means any results lower than 0.9 are negative. You have never been infected with either HSV-1 or HSV-2. Whether or not you ever "came into contact with HSV" (i.e., exposed to an infected person), the infection was never transmitte to you. There is no need to re-test, unless you have reason to believe your partner is infected. "

 

and

 

"Any number below 0.90 means there is no antibody to HSV. People with results of, say, 0.2, 0.5, or 0.85 all are equally negative, with no antibody to HSV. Likewise, a person with a result of 6.0 is no more positive (and no more infected) than someone with a result of 4.0. "

Edited June 30, 2015 by PogoStick

[Gaeta]

Gaeta, this is completely false. See here.

 

To help everyone understand, here are some quotes from a physician interpreting such tests:

A test with 2.1:

"Probably you are infected with HSV-2. [note this was results of the HSV2 test] However, the numerical value of your HSV-2 test is in a low positive range; definitely infected people usually have values of 3.5 or higher.

 

"Reference range <.90" means any results lower than 0.9 are negative. You have never been infected with either HSV-1 or HSV-2. Whether or not you ever "came into contact with HSV" (i.e., exposed to an infected person), the infection was never transmitte to you. There is no need to re-test, unless you have reason to believe your partner is infected. "

 

and

 

"Any number below 0.90 means there is no antibody to HSV. People with results of, say, 0.2, 0.5, or 0.85 all are equally negative, with no antibody to HSV. Likewise, a person with a result of 6.0 is no more positive (and no more infected) than someone with a result of 4.0. "

 

I live with hsv-2. I have read all of the researches on it, the legitimate ones, directly from the pharmaceutical researchers and I have talked to my doctor about this several times, over and over.

 

I don't care what you find on google.