norudder Posted June 27, 2015 Share Posted June 27, 2015 I came across this article and thought some of you who are in nc, and or missing/grieving the ap might get something from it. Realizing more than who they were or what we had its the sadness of realizing they arent who we they thought they were or wanted them to be and not getting what we had hoped. Getting Real in the Realm of Love | Spirituality & Health Magazine| Page 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
lftbehind Posted June 27, 2015 Share Posted June 27, 2015 I came across this article and thought some of you who are in nc, and or missing/grieving the ap might get something from it. Realizing more than who they were or what we had its the sadness of realizing they arent who we they thought they were or wanted them to be and not getting what we had hoped. Getting Real in the Realm of Love | Spirituality & Health Magazine| Page 1 Thank you for the link to this article, Norudder. I posted my story a few weeks ago. I am still in LC with my AP and I can't go NC, even though I know that I need to. We only e-mail and I see him occasionally for short periods of time, due to work schedules. He had talked about leaving to be with me briefly and I guess I know it won't happen, but it's still in the back of my mind. I felt a strong connection with him and it's so hard to let go. He's done the hot/cold with me, but we have maintained contact and haven't had a fight over it. I need to face the reality and let go, but it's so painful. Link to post Share on other sites
Author norudder Posted June 27, 2015 Author Share Posted June 27, 2015 Thank you for the link to this article, Norudder. I posted my story a few weeks ago. I am still in LC with my AP and I can't go NC, even though I know that I need to. We only e-mail and I see him occasionally for short periods of time, due to work schedules. He had talked about leaving to be with me briefly and I guess I know it won't happen, but it's still in the back of my mind. I felt a strong connection with him and it's so hard to let go. He's done the hot/cold with me, but we have maintained contact and haven't had a fight over it. I need to face the reality and let go, but it's so painful. Confronting the reality of it hurts. It really really does. I know. And it seems to take forever. It'll be ok eventually as long as you keep heading in the direction that's best for *you*. In some situations its good to be "selfish" when it means taking care of the self health. Wishing you strength! Link to post Share on other sites
lftbehind Posted June 27, 2015 Share Posted June 27, 2015 Confronting the reality of it hurts. It really really does. I know. And it seems to take forever. It'll be ok eventually as long as you keep heading in the direction that's best for *you*. In some situations its good to be "selfish" when it means taking care of the self health. Wishing you strength! I see the reality, but I just can't end it. It would be easier if he wouldn't contact me. I wouldn't initiate contact if I knew that he didn't want to talk to me. I'm not good at taking care of self health, sometimes and need to get better at it. Thanks for wishing me strength, I need it. Hope you're doing well. Link to post Share on other sites
autumnnight Posted June 27, 2015 Share Posted June 27, 2015 I'm not am OW, but I also thank you for this article. When I found out I had been cheated on and that he chose her....the hardest thing was realizing that I had no idea how much of our relationship was real and how much wasn't. Of course, it was all real to me...but I could no longer be certain about ANYTHING on his end. It was like the foundation under my feet dropped away in a sense. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Poppy47 Posted June 27, 2015 Share Posted June 27, 2015 The article gives a good insight into what we thought and what actually happened. HIndsight is a wonderful thing. Many MM seem to make fake plans for the future with the OW. It's all part of the fantasy of an A. THAT was something I could not let go of for a long long time. I think the term is 'FUTURE FAKING" Thanks norudder. POppy. Link to post Share on other sites
Dutchman1 Posted June 27, 2015 Share Posted June 27, 2015 (edited) Confronting the reality of it hurts. It really really does. I know. And it seems to take forever. It'll be ok eventually as long as you keep heading in the direction that's best for *you*. In some situations its good to be "selfish" when it means taking care of the self health. Wishing you strength! This is what MourningMM wrote in 2005. Be careful in all that you choose to do, because the mind will not forget and the heart will never be the same. Dutchman 1 Edited June 27, 2015 by Dutchman1 typo Link to post Share on other sites
OWAmy Posted June 28, 2015 Share Posted June 28, 2015 I'm not am OW, but I also thank you for this article. When I found out I had been cheated on and that he chose her....the hardest thing was realizing that I had no idea how much of our relationship was real and how much wasn't. Of course, it was all real to me...but I could no longer be certain about ANYTHING on his end. It was like the foundation under my feet dropped away in a sense. Quite a long time ago now I was cheated on and that was how I felt at the time. He made me rubbish everything that we ever had and question the whole of our relationship as to what was real and what wasn't; I just didn't know any more. All the good times I looked back on were tainted - had he been lying to me then? It became that there were no good times because I could not be certain what was genuine and what wasn't. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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