sunglasses Posted June 27, 2015 Share Posted June 27, 2015 I'm going through a tough time. Long term relationship (several years), and last few years of which have been long distance due to grad school. Earlier this week she told me she thinks we're different, that we're in different places in our development. I can't help but read stories online of couples who broke up and got back together. I think the differences can be resolved, and I think I can (and want) to grow in a way that gives her she needs. I guess I'm hoping to hear that there's still a chance. Still can't believe that everything we've worked towards is gone. Link to post Share on other sites
ravfour4 Posted June 28, 2015 Share Posted June 28, 2015 At a very basic level, there is always a chance. People rarely say that on here because for most of us, we'll cling to that hope which will prevent us from moving on and being happy - so it's often better to believe there is no chance. I dated my ex for 4 years, things got bad between us and neither one of us were meeting each other's needs - we had become lazy. She hopped into another relationship instantly to not feel the pain and is now finally single. Over the past 5 months of being broken up, we never really stopped talking and we still talk about us and what happened - but she no longer feels the same way about me so despite saying "I didn't want any of this to happen, I wanted us to work", she's not willing to put in any effort to make it work. Since she continually keeps coming back and always responds, I think there's a chance that we could rekindle the attraction - but that hope has done exactly what I said above - it's prevented me from moving on and it's prevented me from being as happy as possible. Link to post Share on other sites
erklat Posted June 28, 2015 Share Posted June 28, 2015 Unfortunately I don't share your optimism. At least if there is a slightest possibility , your not going to accomplish it the way you seem to be trying. Answer two very simple questions to yourself about her constantly contacting you : a) what is in for her b) what is in it for you Link to post Share on other sites
ravfour4 Posted June 28, 2015 Share Posted June 28, 2015 (edited) Excellent questions. For her, comfort and a back up plan. For me, occasional ego boost, but mostly angst. If, and it very very likely won't happen, she came back sincerely with lots of apologies and an obvious attraction - I'd give it a shot. In the meantime, focusing on myself has been going well. Edited June 28, 2015 by ravfour4 Link to post Share on other sites
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