Josmatjes Posted June 27, 2015 Share Posted June 27, 2015 Im two months no contact now. That's when I blocked him and I blocked certain people on Facebook so they can't see my page, including his wife and kids so he can't see what's going on with me.I will never unblock him...ever... For the Most part I doing great, but today thoughts of him came creeping in.I think I'm still hurt. I have to keep remembering how he acted towards me in the end. Push and pull, everything about him. When do these thoughts go away? Any advice? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Jemay Posted June 27, 2015 Share Posted June 27, 2015 I'm at 7 weeks NC, and I'm like you still, doing well overall but still miss him despite the fact he was an awful boyfriend. When you love someone and let them close to you, it takes time to heal. I look at my relationship to this man as an addiction, it may be different for you of course but I feel ****ty like when I quit smoking many years ago. After I quit, the first 3 months were tough. I thought of smoking all day long, every day. Much like I think about my ex right now. After 3 months, it became very easy but my mind was still very preoccupied by cigarettes. After 6 months I had many days not thinking of smoking at all and although I thought about smoking here and there my life was my own again. And at 1 year I was done and truly over it. So I think depending on how close you were it can take up to 1 year for a serious obsession like mine But I'm sure you're not as crazy as me so I think you'll soon be very over it! Just continue what you're doing. Accept the low days and know good days are just around the corner. It takes time is what I tell myself every day. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted June 28, 2015 Share Posted June 28, 2015 Let the thoughts come and go like any other thoughts. Let them come. Let them go. Most emotional and mental suffering is rooted in resistance and conflict, both of which create tension in the psyche. You get what you resist. What you resist persists. If you let the thoughts come and go like any other thoughts, they will eventuallly run out of energy, and only come to mind if you want them to. Take care. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
StrungOut1975 Posted June 28, 2015 Share Posted June 28, 2015 Jos you are an inspiration. I live for the day when I will be 2 months NC. You are totally entitled to have rough days. If your anything like me, I married young and was faithful to my H for almost 20 years before I met MM. I had several justified reasons/chances to leave my marriage but cowardly and paralyzed I stayed. Anyway, my AP created feelings in me that I never thought was possible to feel. Like most, we were friends first and the rest is history. The truth is.. I'm addicted to him and head over heels in love, even though in reality he is a dirtbag and I am lowering my standards to be with him. I relish the day when I can be 2 months or even 2 weeks NC from this debilitating illness. Keep up the Good work and continue to allow yourself to feel and heal. It's important to cry as well. It's good for the soul. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
Lesson2ya Posted June 28, 2015 Share Posted June 28, 2015 NC is difficult, I try it then grieve and so break it. My AP has contacted me too so that does not help. I think you have to count each day down. "I did yesterday so I can do today". Then weeks then months. FB and social sites make this so difficult but not texting, phoning is a start. Be strong! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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