kandi13 Posted May 1, 2005 Share Posted May 1, 2005 Ok, well my boyfriend and I broke up about a month ago, and I was so hurt, Id cut myself and one day I looked at my arm and thought if I have to hurt myself over a guy then it isnt worth it, no one is when it comes to hurting yourself. So I just took at the strengh I had and let it go, which was actually 2 days ago. Yesterday I slept over his house. We had sex but it was more like friend sex. And I didnt have any feelings for him. But later on yesterday, he was acting so sweet, and it hurt to know I lost him. So now he likes his ex Tasha again, shes my suppose friend. And I cant stop them from going out cuz that would be so selfish of me. I cant ruin that chance for him. Now my question is we are real good friends now, but will our friendship last, Id do anything to make it work, even if it means not gettin jealous when I see him with another girl. I heard if you atleast talk to one ex your lucky, I dont talk to any of my exes except Andrew. My other question is, I know Ill get jealous when I see him with another girl, what can I do when I see him with another girl, how can it look like im not mad? I dont want to push him away. Please help Link to post Share on other sites
Marshbear Posted May 1, 2005 Share Posted May 1, 2005 The chances are rare that you will remain friends. When two people have a relationship and one of them breaks it off, one of them will be upset and will sever the relationship. You think now that you would like to stay friends but I doubt if you will feel that way in a few months or a year. It is a way of holding on to what you had and being in denial as to its end. If you can remain friends, I commend you, for not many can or want to. Link to post Share on other sites
emotionsmessmeup Posted May 1, 2005 Share Posted May 1, 2005 I think when two ppl can be friends after a relationship, they shouldnt have had the relationship in the first place. Link to post Share on other sites
HoldOn Posted May 1, 2005 Share Posted May 1, 2005 There's no reason in the world to be friends with this person. I'm sure you have other people to be friends with who don't make you feel like you have to cut yourself. You'll just end up hurting more when he dates and has sex with other people, which he will. You need to value yourself more and value your body more. You don't need to be having "friend sex" with anyone. Don't fool yourself, you are just going to end up more hurt. You can't have sex without emotions. You are worth more than this man. You are giving him everything he wants (sex!) and what are YOU getting out of it? only pain. Regardless, please get yourself some help. I assume you are in high school. On monday, walk into the nurses office and tell them you need help! I am begging you. What happened to you when you were little? Link to post Share on other sites
tokyo Posted May 1, 2005 Share Posted May 1, 2005 Originally posted by HoldOn What happened to you when you were little? I'm wondering if the 13 in her name doesn't stand for her age. Link to post Share on other sites
WithOrWithoutYou Posted May 1, 2005 Share Posted May 1, 2005 Originally posted by emotionsmessmeup I think when two ppl can be friends after a relationship, they shouldnt have had the relationship in the first place. That's an interesting way of putting it, and true to an extent. I do think it is easier to be friends with people where you tried to have a realtionship, but mutually agreed that you should not have tried in the first place. It helps to take away all of the "what might have been", and lets you concentrate on the friendship. I'm not sure it is necessarily true, howver, that if you can be friends later you shouldn't have had the relationship in the first place. I think that sometimes, even if somoene you were with was not "the one", and the relationship ends, that you take something valuable away from many relationships and learn from it. Maybe you even make some really great memories, and have some good times. Maybe that person was the person you needed in your life at a particular time, but later, you or that other person realize, that the time has passed. I think there are a lot of really great relationships that just do not last forever, and I think that is ok to a degree. If both people recognize the reasons why the relationship had to end, and if both people are completely over any bad feelings or deep sadness about it ending (that usually involves both parties having moved on in a meaningful way), I think it is possible for exes to be friends, even if the relationship that ended was good at one point. Just so both people are completely over the ending of the relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Author kandi13 Posted May 1, 2005 Author Share Posted May 1, 2005 I am not 13 im 16 I was 13 when I first came to this site Link to post Share on other sites
HoldOn Posted May 1, 2005 Share Posted May 1, 2005 Yes it is possible to be friends with an ex. But people! She's asking if she should be friends with AND sleep with her ex, who made her feel so bad that the cut herself! Kandi, you need help! Please go see your school counselor or a teacher who understands. You can make your life into what you want it to me, if you start now. Link to post Share on other sites
heart2heart Posted May 1, 2005 Share Posted May 1, 2005 Originally posted by emotionsmessmeup I think when two ppl can be friends after a relationship, they shouldnt have had the relationship in the first place. I see. So because I and an ex (from 10 YEARS ago) are friends, means we shouldn't have a relationship all those years ago. People who have had relationships can eventually become friends again, if that is what both ppl want. Maybe not soon after a relationship ends, but months/years down the line, yes! I and the ex had both moved on (not surprisingly after 10 long years). We went over the past, where we'd gone wrong, had a laugh and a joke about it, discussed our present lives, what we were doing now, etc,etc..... and yeah, discovered after all this time that we could be friends, despite having a very messy breakup back then..........so hey, friendship between exe's can happen - whether messy break up or mutual agreement! Kandi13, I think it's too soon for you to be and remain 'friends' with your ex! You are only prolonging your hurt at this stage and I suspect that the main reason you are wanting to be friends with your ex, is in the hopes that you two will get back together eventually. That may happen, then again it may not. You can only be friends with an ex, when you've both totally moved on, are over one another and the hurt, etc.....when you can be totally 100% happy with the fact and accept that he/she has a new partner in their lives. I'll be honest, I couldn't have remained a friend to my ex 10 years back and after our initial breakup, it would've hurt me too much to remain his friend and remaining 'friends'was never an issue between us. We simply parted the ways, both moved on, he met someone else, so did I and 10 years later he reappears in my life - we found we could be friends. Like I said, we had a verrrry messy breakup, harsh words were said, etc. I thought we'd never manage/or become 'friends' again, we did! Link to post Share on other sites
emotionsmessmeup Posted May 1, 2005 Share Posted May 1, 2005 heart2heart...are u single? i just want an perspective on what ur SO thinks of your relationship with ur ex. Link to post Share on other sites
heart2heart Posted May 1, 2005 Share Posted May 1, 2005 Originally posted by emotionsmessmeup heart2heart...are u single? i just want an perspective on what ur SO thinks of your relationship with ur ex. I'm single these days and was for around several months before the ex contacted me. Link to post Share on other sites
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