OldSoul86 Posted June 28, 2015 Share Posted June 28, 2015 Tonight I took a bit of a break from seeing my friends and went to go visit a family friend of mine who has been in the hospital over the last few days. I have to say that I was floored by how much I and I suspect many other people take our health for granted. I have been really down on myself for leaving my ex at the beginning of this month (it was due to compatibility issues that made us a poor match for the long haul - logical, but still a kick in the gut nonetheless.) I was sitting there chatting with my family friend and was thinking to myself - if I don't have my health I have nothing, but if I have my health the possibilities are nearly limitless. If you are feeling particularly crummy - go visit sick people in the hospital. I guarantee it will make you evaluate your situation in a different light. Maybe this new point of view I have is temporary, but maybe it will help me reframe what has been the worst month of my life bar none. Seeing people who were sick and alone in the hospital made my heart break. My ex is not a family oriented person, and seeing those lonely people laying in a hospital bed with tubes sticking out of them has slapped me into reality again. I think that tonight has the potential to be a true healing day on my journey back to me. I found myself thinking about my situation and asking myself - does it even really matter in the grand scheme of things? So what, I had a crummy long-distance relationship with a woman who was all wrong for me. Is this going to matter in 5 years? Most likely not. To all of those who're struggling, please keep pushing forward with your healing. You have my support. I wish you all the very best and hope and pray that you take this journey that we're all undertaking in stride and can learn immense life lessons from it - and the next time you meet someone, you'll be that much more complete and wonderful a person. 11 Link to post Share on other sites
15Love Posted June 28, 2015 Share Posted June 28, 2015 Sounds like you really are healing nicely! Great points on giving life some perspective. Link to post Share on other sites
Grumpybutfun Posted June 28, 2015 Share Posted June 28, 2015 Perspective is everything. Good post! G Link to post Share on other sites
Itspointless Posted June 28, 2015 Share Posted June 28, 2015 I have to say that I was floored by how much I and I suspect many other people take our health for granted. Strange isn't it. Most lessons in life usually wont come cheap, luckily this one came to you almost for free, I am happy for you it did. Link to post Share on other sites
Author OldSoul86 Posted June 28, 2015 Author Share Posted June 28, 2015 Sounds like you really are healing nicely! Great points on giving life some perspective. I am trying my hardest 15Love. The realization that I struggle with the most is just how much of myself I lost when I was in the relationship. I gave way too much and expected nothing in return. In my therapy session I was told that I shouldn't feel guilty for dumping her and ignoring her contact afterwards because there is a good chance that she was unhappy too. Apparently in most cases when one partner is unhappy, there's a good chance that the other is too, but they refuse to acknowledge it or are ultimately unaware of it at the time. My therapist told me that it is a noble thing to let someone go that you love but aren't right for, because it liberates both people to move on to something different (not necessarily better or worse.) I still ping pong around emotionally, but I think that even though I ping pong around I am not spending as much time sulking as I did, even a week ago. I just hope that I can continue to move forward, learn about myself, and get back to being me - get back to being the person I lost in my relationship. Perspective is everything. Good post! G Thank you Grumpybutfun! It really is about perspective, and I am glad that I'm getting it. It may not be easy, but I am thankful that I have resources like LS - it puts me back on track. Strange isn't it. Most lessons in life usually wont come cheap, luckily this one came to you almost for free, I am happy for you it did. It is strange Itspointless. I have had some health problems in my life already (Crohn's disease) and going to visit my family friend has reminded me of what I've been through in my life already - in some strange way being back at the hospital has reminded me that I have already been through hell and back and made it out relatively unscathed. I just need to keep things in perspective and learn how to tell that little voice in my head to keep quiet. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Itspointless Posted June 28, 2015 Share Posted June 28, 2015 It is strange Itspointless. I have had some health problems in my life already (Crohn's disease) and going to visit my family friend has reminded me of what I've been through in my life already - in some strange way being back at the hospital has reminded me that I have already been through hell and back and made it out relatively unscathed. I just need to keep things in perspective and learn how to tell that little voice in my head to keep quiet. I am sorry to hear that OldSoul, that lesson came less costly to you than I had hoped. I luckily never had an illness, my path seems to be crossed with standing helplessly besides people who do. Link to post Share on other sites
Author OldSoul86 Posted June 28, 2015 Author Share Posted June 28, 2015 I am sorry to hear that OldSoul, that lesson came less costly to you than I had hoped. I luckily never had an illness, my path seems to be crossed with standing helplessly besides people who do. Thanks! I truly believe that some of life's most difficult lessons are learned at a tremendous cost to us. All you can do in that situation is to be there for them. Be well. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SandraTempleton Posted July 17, 2015 Share Posted July 17, 2015 This will probably be a blip on the radar and hopefully you will have someone that is a better match for you in your life. Or at least be headed in the right direction. I dated a guy from 2010-2012 and then he left me and moved back to London. I remember feeling horrible at the time, the way he did it was completely ****ty. Rather than telling me he was leaving and moving back home he posted about it on facebook and all of my friends and family told me. It was a really ****ty thing to do. But I digress, I'm here to tell you something. Better things are coming. They are in the works and you should work on preparing yourself to accept them in your life when they get here by becoming the best version of yourself. This is something that I've really worked on, being the best version of myself. Because I want to attract someone that's at the top of their game too. And together I want us to drive and inspire each other. In the mean time, I'm not settling for anything less. Best of luck to you! 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Ariess10 Posted July 17, 2015 Share Posted July 17, 2015 Why is it that people feel the need to be with someone? What's wrong with being by yourself? Link to post Share on other sites
Itspointless Posted July 17, 2015 Share Posted July 17, 2015 Why is it that people feel the need to be with someone? What's wrong with being by yourself? There is nothing wrong with being by ourselves. But in the end people are social creatures (group-animals). Some people deny that need, not saying you do. Other people deny the fact that someone else cannot fix that hole in their heart. We all have our things to sort out. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author OldSoul86 Posted July 17, 2015 Author Share Posted July 17, 2015 (edited) This will probably be a blip on the radar and hopefully you will have someone that is a better match for you in your life. Or at least be headed in the right direction. I dated a guy from 2010-2012 and then he left me and moved back to London. I remember feeling horrible at the time, the way he did it was completely ****ty. Rather than telling me he was leaving and moving back home he posted about it on facebook and all of my friends and family told me. It was a really ****ty thing to do. But I digress, I'm here to tell you something. Better things are coming. They are in the works and you should work on preparing yourself to accept them in your life when they get here by becoming the best version of yourself. This is something that I've really worked on, being the best version of myself. Because I want to attract someone that's at the top of their game too. And together I want us to drive and inspire each other. In the mean time, I'm not settling for anything less. Best of luck to you! Great post SandraTempleton - and I am sorry that the guy from London was crummy to you. Funnily enough, a friend of mine was saying something similar to me yesterday. 5 years from now I am fairly confident that I won't even remember much of what happened between her and I. If all goes well, I will be working in my field, and maybe have a kid or two with a loving wife who enjoys spending time with my family and friends - someone who is not a shut-in. I have no desire to reconcile with her, no desire to be in contact with her anymore, and no desire to make her the source of my misery anymore. As for becoming the best version of myself - I am well on my way. I just finished university, and am now looking for a job in education. I have my own place, I have made a few new friends, I have been on a couple of dates through online dating, and I am back to being a much more social person. My ex was an emotional vampire - she made me feel guilty for going out and being social with my friends (she did not have any close friends) so I felt obligated to stay home and fill her time. I know that my life is looking up. Every day I wake up and feel a little bit better and at ease - knowing that I made the right decision to leave her. I just need to keep working on myself, and keep on being social - whether it is with friends, or a coffee date with someone new. I am not writing the possibility off of actually meeting someone decent through online dating - I am just keeping my expectations low at this time. Couples should absolutely inspire one another. In my relationship, I played cheerleader for my ex all the time. In return I got nothing back - much like in many other areas of the relationship. She is a taker, and I was way way too eager to please her as a giver. I need some appreciation/reciprocation also - and I will not settle for someone who does not fulfill my relationship needs next time around. Thank you for your insight and encouraging words. Edited July 17, 2015 by OldSoul86 Clarity 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SandraTempleton Posted July 17, 2015 Share Posted July 17, 2015 Do you mind my asking what age group you are planning to teach? I am currently in school to teach at the elementary (primary) school level. Ideally I am hoping to work with 2nd or 3rd grade (8-10 year olds). Link to post Share on other sites
Author OldSoul86 Posted July 17, 2015 Author Share Posted July 17, 2015 Do you mind my asking what age group you are planning to teach? I am currently in school to teach at the elementary (primary) school level. Ideally I am hoping to work with 2nd or 3rd grade (8-10 year olds). Anything but kindergarten for me. I did my practicum in kindergarten and they're just too little. I felt like a glorified, overqualified babysitter to them. Grade 2-3 is good. If I HAD to choose a grade it'd be grade 4. Cheers 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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