The Buddhism Thread

[endlessabyss]

There is a word frequently used, with regard to showing empathy, understanding and support for those who seem to need it, and that word is Compassion.

 

If we check the definition of the word, via an online dictionary, this is one definition we find:

 

 

 

(I removed some irrelevant data).

 

However, when we consider Compassion, in Buddhism, it is considered to be one of the 4 Divine States, or Brahma-Viharas:

 

These are:

 

Metta - Loving Kindness

Karuna - Compassion

Mudita - Empathetic Joy

Upekka - Equanimity.

 

These are 4 states which as Buddhists, we strive to develop and cultivate, for all Sentient beings, regardless.

From Pol Pot to Mother Teresa, From Hitler to the Dalai Lama, everyone deserves these 'gifts'.

 

However:

One of the cautions is the manner in which we develop these states, and more importantly, the Motive.

The Motive must be selfless.

 

Our motives should not be anything to do with making ourselves feel, or look good. (Naturally, to do kindness towards others makes us also feel pleased, but this pleasure should be for the sake of the other person, not ours.)

 

We also need to guard against developing these States in an UNSKILFUL manner.

For example, Loving Kindness is very easy for our own child; but loving kindness towards someone intent on robbing is somewhat harder; and it's difficult (to say the least!) to hold Loving Kindness for people who, for example, decide to perpetrate acts of terrorism or violence towards innocent victims.

 

in our eyes, these people are truly Suffering ,and in a place of emotional pain; they want a specific result, but see the only way of getting it, to be by harming others, which of course, by our western civilised standards, is unthinkable....

 

We need to lay aside our natural feelings of revulsion, because this leads to prejudice, and prejudice is divisive. We cannot develop loving Kindness selectively, or conditionally.

We strive to develop it, no matter what, or who.

 

Compassion is the Virtuous State of abiding that is often misunderstood; and naturally so.

Because sometimes, in an effort to be compassionate towards others, we end up actually creating a more harmful situation.

 

There is another thread on here where a gentle, loving, kind and 'compassionate' member, is seeking to support his girlfriend in her grief, regarding a previous deceased boyfriend.

But in my personal opinion, by being so gentle, loving and kind, his compassion is misguided; misplaced. What could be termed Idiot Compassion (and that refers to the type of compassion demonstrated, not the person demonstrating it!).

 

Idiot Compassion often has the opposite of the desired effect: It can keep the person within the very state we are compassionate about, because it gives them permission to continue the behaviour, knowing that our understanding and pity will be ever-present.

Only, of course, it won't be.

Because at one moment or another, we will start getting impatient with this person, as all they seem to be doing is wallowing, and remaining stuck, and they won't be appearing to be doing anything - or as much as perhaps they should, or could - to extricate themselves from the problem.

 

I'm not necessarily talking about the random homeless guy, who we see, more or less frequently or otherwise, because we rarely have an emotional attachment to them;

I'm talking about people within our circle: Acquaintances, friends, family members or partners.

Idiot Compassion is a crutch put to use long after the leg has healed, shall we say.....

 

Wise Compassion is occasionally far from gentle. It's very much akin to 'tough Love' at times.

For example, if our cousin is an habitual petty thief, and we see he keeps coming home with property that is not his, we need to feel compassion for his seeming bad habit, and needless greed, and try to talk him out of such action; but he needs denouncing to the law.

If he commits a crime, the Law states he deserves to be punished if found guilty.

The Law will take into account any mitigating circumstances (a psychological handicap, a personality disorder, a 'cry for help'....), but that is for the lawyer to calculate and present.

We have to show compassion and support, by reassuring the person we are there for them; but we cannot condone such action, and must understand that as a member of society, governed by legal directives, they deserve the punishment decided upon.

 

There are countless stories of relatives of victims, showing forgiveness and compassion for the criminal: women whose children have been killed, connecting with the perpetrator and forging a friendship with them.

That is Wise Compassion.

 

As Edith Cavell said, before being shot by the Germans: "I realise patriotism is not enough; I must have no hatred or bitterness towards anyone."

 

She was able to look her aggressors in the eye, and feel nothing but togetherness with them.

 

Mudita - or sympathetic Joy - is the happiness one cultivates for others when they are blessed with good fortune - even though we ourselves may be in the depths of despair. It holds no envy, no resentment, no anguish. Just the happiness of seeing someone happy - as if we were eliminated from the tournament, and embracing our adversary, and congratulating them upon their victory and a race well run....

 

Upekka is a tricky one....

In Buddhism, equanimity means to be calm balanced, neutral....

But is being calm and balanced all there is to equanimity? And how does one develop equanimity?

Although translated as "equanimity," the precise meaning of upekkha seems hard to pin down. The word upekkha literally translated, means "to look over." However, a Pali/Sanskrit glossary I consulted says it means "not taking notice; disregard."

 

 

According to the esteemed and respected Theravadin monk and scholar Bhikkhu Bodhi, the word upekkha in the past has been mistranslated as "indifference," which has caused many in the West to believe, mistakenly, that Buddhists are supposed to be detached and unconcerned with other beings .

 

But what it really means is to not be ruled by passions, desires, likes and dislikes.

 

"It is evenness of mind, unshakeable freedom of mind, a state of inner equipoise that cannot be upset by gain and loss, honor and dishonor, praise and blame, pleasure and pain. Upekkha is freedom from all points of self-reference; it is indifference only to the demands of the ego-self with its craving for pleasure and position, not to the well-being of one's fellow human beings."

 

The Buddha described upekkha as 'abundant, exalted, immeasurable, without hostility and without ill-will.' Hardly the same thing as "indifference," is it?

 

Thich Nhat Hanh, the famous Vietnamese Zen Monk, says, in 'The Heart of the Buddha's Teaching' that the word upekka means "equanimity, non-attachment, non-discrimination, even-mindedness, or letting go.

It is as if you climb a mountain to be able to look over the whole situation, not bound by one side or the other."

 

So upekka means to be within a situation, but unperturbed, untouched, unsullied or 'un-balanced' by it.

 

I would add that the Fourth Divine State is one that is extremely difficult to manifest, and can only be 100% successfully achieved when the first three are mastered.

but it's never a wasted effort, to at least try.....

 

Do you practice meditation?

[evanescentworld]

Certainly do....

[evanescentworld]

I am just starting to explore this - so forgive me...but is there not a difference between the Tibetan Buddhism and Zen Buddhism with the first being outwardly focused and the other more inward focused?

Oh yes, there most certainly is.

 

There are two main branches of Buddhism:

Theravada and Mahayana.

 

Mahayana can be in itself, subdivided into different Schools, or Traditions, two of which are Tibetan and Zen.

 

I adhere principally to the Theravadan Tradition, therefore I would recommend those interested, to thoroughly research for themselves, which schools might principally appeal to them.

 

However, to practise the basic tenets of Buddhism requires no strict and rigid allegiance to any school at all: in fact, many Buddhists "mix and match" (which I hasten to add, is a completely different thing to 'cherry-picking!) and occasionally 'borrow' practises from other schools.

I for one, even though I am more drawn to Theravada, occasionally use Tibetan Buddhist practices, to enhance and support my own calling...

 

And people don't even have to adhere to a specific school at all, at least, not until they're comfortable and adequately confident in feeling able to do so.

I didn't 'nail my colours' to the Theravada Mast for at least 15 years....

[endlessabyss]

Certainly do....

 

Could you recommend some tips for a beginner?

[evanescentworld]

I'll try...

 

First of all, bizarre as it may sound, there is nothing to achieve.

The main point of Meditation is to - meditate.

 

There is no need for physical contortion, no need for a specific set posture, no constraint of position.

 

Just sit.

Be relaxed, upright, and conscious of your bodily position, but there's no need to sit in any particular way. A comfortable chair will do, or even a floor, with your back against a wall.

 

The point is, to sit and be calm. Don't force the breath, just breathe.

If you need to, make sure you are alone and undisturbed in your home. Silence the telephone, and pick a time when it's unlikely you'll have visitors.

 

Then I practise what I call "bringing the Mind, Home."

I read a passage in a book, where an instructor was explaining to his student, what Meditation is. He said,

 

"You know when you are thinking of a particular thing - like, what you might eat for dinner, or what you will buy your partner for their birthday.... and then you remember you have a meeting at 10.00 the following morning, and you need some paperwork?"

 

The student nodded...

 

"Well, you know that small, infinitesimal space, that almost invisible gap, between one thought-process and the next....?"

 

"Yes....?" replied the student....

 

 

"Well, make that gap wider. "

 

Meditation is not about stopping thinking.

It's about not making the thoughts bigger, expansive and all-invading.

 

Think of it this way....

 

You see a clear blue sky; not a cloud in sight..... but then, suddenly, as if from nowhere, you perceive a tiny wisp, a gossamer-like image of a cloud....

Now, one of two things can happen.

Either the cloud grows, becomes immense and covers the entire sky, and grows grey with its own weight, or it gently dissipates and evaporates, until you no longer perceive it. It has passed, and the sky is brilliantly and dazzlingly clear, once more.

 

Strive to achieve the latter.

 

We call this a 'Buddha-Mind sky'.

A Mind unobscured by the inconsequential chatter of invasive thoughts. A Mind which sees, thinks, perceives and permits to pass, without hindrance.

 

At first, this will be difficult, and as you persist, will seemingly become even more of a challenge - not to say, apparently impossible.

But believe it or not, that's a good sign! It means you are deeply and more acutely conscious of just how much noise our minds make, without us realising it! You are aware. And that, in Buddhism, is quite a milestone.

 

Start small.

Don't give yourself limiting and punishing routines.

Start with anything as little as 5 minutes, or less, even, if you want.

The thing is to persevere, and gradually lengthen your time sat.

It's not quantity, but quality, that matters.

 

Other kinds of meditation also exist, and can be practised.... any activity you do, like washing up, or polishing the car, or sweeping your path.... do them all, intensely conscious of everything you do, and what the result is - but don't add any commentary. Just DO it - with no narrative or description.

Notice (for example) the path becoming cleaner, and the debris in front of the broom.

But don't THINK that the path is becoming cleaner, and that the debris is building up in front of the broom - just notice them, without telling yourself anything....

 

Walking meditation makes you acutely aware of your entire body's movements, and makes you conscious of just what an extraordinary miracle, simply putting one foot in front of the other, actually is.

It is a process of repeatedly falling flat on your face, but being prevented from doing so, thanks to the wondrous mechanisms of a skeletal and a muscular system, coupled with a lot of nerve activity, designed to stop you doing just that....

 

But go easy on yourself.

pick a method, and try it for a while.

Relax, enjoy and breathe.

 

And... Mind - the Gap.

[endlessabyss]

I'll try...

 

First of all, bizarre as it may sound, there is nothing to achieve.

The main point of Meditation is to - meditate.

 

There is no need for physical contortion, no need for a specific set posture, no constraint of position.

 

Just sit.

Be relaxed, upright, and conscious of your bodily position, but there's no need to sit in any particular way. A comfortable chair will do, or even a floor, with your back against a wall.

 

The point is, to sit and be calm. Don't force the breath, just breathe.

If you need to, make sure you are alone and undisturbed in your home. Silence the telephone, and pick a time when it's unlikely you'll have visitors.

 

Then I practise what I call "bringing the Mind, Home."

I read a passage in a book, where an instructor was explaining to his student, what Meditation is. He said,

 

"You know when you are thinking of a particular thing - like, what you might eat for dinner, or what you will buy your partner for their birthday.... and then you remember you have a meeting at 10.00 the following morning, and you need some paperwork?"

 

The student nodded...

 

"Well, you know that small, infinitesimal space, that almost invisible gap, between one thought-process and the next....?"

 

"Yes....?" replied the student....

 

 

"Well, make that gap wider. "

 

Meditation is not about stopping thinking.

It's about not making the thoughts bigger, expansive and all-invading.

 

Think of it this way....

 

You see a clear blue sky; not a cloud in sight..... but then, suddenly, as if from nowhere, you perceive a tiny wisp, a gossamer-like image of a cloud....

Now, one of two things can happen.

Either the cloud grows, becomes immense and covers the entire sky, and grows grey with its own weight, or it gently dissipates and evaporates, until you no longer perceive it. It has passed, and the sky is brilliantly and dazzlingly clear, once more.

 

Strive to achieve the latter.

 

We call this a 'Buddha-Mind sky'.

A Mind unobscured by the inconsequential chatter of invasive thoughts. A Mind which sees, thinks, perceives and permits to pass, without hindrance.

 

At first, this will be difficult, and as you persist, will seemingly become even more of a challenge - not to say, apparently impossible.

But believe it or not, that's a good sign! It means you are deeply and more acutely conscious of just how much noise our minds make, without us realising it! You are aware. And that, in Buddhism, is quite a milestone.

 

Start small.

Don't give yourself limiting and punishing routines.

Start with anything as little as 5 minutes, or less, even, if you want.

The thing is to persevere, and gradually lengthen your time sat.

It's not quantity, but quality, that matters.

 

Other kinds of meditation also exist, and can be practised.... any activity you do, like washing up, or polishing the car, or sweeping your path.... do them all, intensely conscious of everything you do, and what the result is - but don't add any commentary. Just DO it - with no narrative or description.

Notice (for example) the path becoming cleaner, and the debris in front of the broom.

But don't THINK that the path is becoming cleaner, and that the debris is building up in front of the broom - just notice them, without telling yourself anything....

 

Walking meditation makes you acutely aware of your entire body's movements, and makes you conscious of just what an extraordinary miracle, simply putting one foot in front of the other, actually is.

It is a process of repeatedly falling flat on your face, but being prevented from doing so, thanks to the wondrous mechanisms of a skeletal and a muscular system, coupled with a lot of nerve activity, designed to stop you doing just that....

 

But go easy on yourself.

pick a method, and try it for a while.

Relax, enjoy and breathe.

 

And... Mind - the Gap.

 

 

Thank you very much for the articulate response!

 

 

I'm going to start trying to implement this in my life, daily. You also clarified a misperception I had about thought while meditating. When I tried meditating in the past, I would try to cease all thought by focusing on my breathing/heartbeat. But, for now on I will just let the thoughts have their space, but try and not expand on them like you said.

 

 

Thanks again!

[evanescentworld]

Yes, there are countless people who believe we have to prevent the brain from thinking, and have to halt the thought-process.

 

That's simply impossible.

That's what the brain is for; it's a mechanism designed to think, and put you into action.

 

So, what in fact we strive to do, is to put a halter on our thinking.

 

It's extraordinary how many people believe they are in 'complete control' of themselves, yet when you say to them "ok, control the amount you think!" find themselves really struggling. And we have a Mind, that is capable of a million extraordinary things....

 

we call this "Monkey Mind".

 

If you go to a zoo and watch the monkeys, they are frenetic in their activity.... their eyes are everywhere. They're alert, and never still for long. leaping, swinging, speeding from one end of their enclosure to the other, sometimes tussling with each other, behaving jealously, or possessively, or playing exuberantly and going through such acrobatics, it makes us laugh and gaze in wonder.

 

our Minds, d'you know, are no different, and it's exhausting just trying to follow the way it operates!

 

So, how to 'still the monkey Mind'...?

 

Monkeys are still, when they do one of two things: Sleep, and eat.

But we don't want our mind to sleep. That would render us catatonic, robotic even.

 

No, we need to keep our Mind alert, vigilant, but relaxed and calm. We need to bring our Mind to a state of alertness, but with no sense of haste or worry.

 

A monkey, eating, will sit perched, focused on the food, but still alert to what is going on around it. It will be watchful, but still and chewing.

So, we sit. And we relax. And we simply allow our attention to settle.

 

We first try to clear the Mind, and find a 'space' in our thinking... thst little 'Gap' with no thought in it.

 

And we gently breathe in, and we gently breathe out.

And we sit, and focus on a single word, we think.

 

This word, is the food; the calmer, the distractor-from-thought.

 

You can pick any word you like, it doesn't have to be associated with anything spiritual...

 

I use the word 'Home'. I have also used the words 'calm' and 'breathe' and even 'focus'.

 

And as you sit, and naturally breathe, your mind will inevitably begin to think.

The Monkey will begin to swing....

 

..and when you notice this happening, just 'see' what the thought is; Acknowledge it. It's fine; it's there and evident. Ok, thank you, seen that, now *word*.

 

Allow the little wisp of cloud to flow across your sky, see it, appreciate it, and let it go.

 

Breathe, and *word*.

 

You can also use a small bell.

Now, you need to find a bell the sound of which, actually 'lifts' you. A sound which rather than being too clashing or piercing, connects with your audial sense, and makes you smile, makes you pleased to hear....

 

I would suggest always shopping personally for such a bell. Don't buy one on line.

 

You may need to find a store that sells meditative products, where you can try the bells for yourself. Find a bell with a distinct, single, clear note. (Occasionally, bells have a 'dual' note, a slightly discordant sound, because the bell canopy is of a different thickness on 2 sides, and therefore each side hit by the clanger, gives a fractionally different note. You'll know it when you hear it; you'll even wince. I did!)

 

If you use the bell for meditation, as you sit, and quietly breathe, eyes closed, ring the bell, then focus completely on the sound, and 'observe' it growing fainter and fainter, listen to the sound intently, and enjoy how it fills the room with the clear, single note. hear it fade, until everything is completely silent.... and enjoy that silence. And sit, and relax, and breathe.... and if a thought comes into your mind (as it inevitably will) then, sound the bell again, and repeat.....

 

I have also occasionally, used a candle.

If the room is darkened, I sit, comfortably, and placing a small candle in front of me, I light it, then focus my eyes on the flame, for around 15 seconds.

 

When I then close my eyes, I can still see the flame as a 'negative' image.

And I focus on this to really make it evident.

 

I 'look' at this negative image, eyes closed, until it completely fades, and all is darkness. Then I sit, breathe, calm and relaxed, and after a moment or two, repeat the process. The trigger to look at the flame again is, of course, the insistent thought.

Ok, see the thought.... here it is..... that's fine, I've got it..... let it go...... see the flame, and repeat the process.

 

To begin with, that bell is going to be ringing very frequently, or you and your candle flame are going to become very closely connected!

In fact, initially, you're going to believe you're making matters worse, and that your thoughts are increasing, not calming!

 

And that's ok. It's normal, natural and progress.

Because you are aware of just how frenetic your mind is. By watching the thoughts, you are truly gaining the control I spoke of.

 

You can't control something unless you first know its power.

You know....

 

"You're gonna need a bigger boat"...... kind of thing?

 

By first 'seeing' just how busy your mind can be, you can then grasp what you need to harness it, and how.....

[loveweary11]

I'm an amateur myself.

 

I know just enough to sound stupid.

 

Could we discuss Buddhism in a positive, constructive manner here?

 

I hear both sides of the little debate between Tara and NC130(sorry..going by memory on screen names). Buddhism teaches all life is suffering, BUT that this suffering is relieved my removing unnecessary wants.

 

So could you both be correct to some extent?

 

I hope we can have the discussion in a constructive thread so I can learn.

 

Would love to hear Tara's understanding after having studied it for so long.

[Gunny376]

I too am a novice on the subject but willing to educate myself, but as I understand Buddhism is more a way of living than it is about necessarily a "religion". Its a way of becoming, of evolving beyond the material day-to-day world, where having less is more, ( a concept I personally embrace)

[William]

Folks, since there were a number of threads on Buddhism in our forum, I merged the most discussed ones and updated the title with that of the most recent one to reflect the overall content of the merged threads. Please continue with your discussion of Buddhism!