Adferger1 Posted June 28, 2015 Share Posted June 28, 2015 Hi all... I just need some basic advise here... I have been in NC with my ex, after the break up that happend 10 months ago. I have done all the self improvement, putting focus back on myself and I am happy with my life and doing great. Recently my ex has reached out. We have been texting back and forth. She replies fast and with long texts every time. She send me a new freind request on FB, is using kissing simleys in her texts and she even asked me over a couple of times for coffee. So overall she is showing a lot of interrested in me. I dont know much about this part of getting an ex back. How should I proceed? Hard to get? Cold/distant? Happy/friendly? Any advice would be wonderfull Link to post Share on other sites
ravfour4 Posted June 28, 2015 Share Posted June 28, 2015 Just keep hanging out, having fun and hooking up. Keep It casual and keep doing what you're doing since it seems to be working. Don't push it forward into a relationship - just go with the flow. If she gets cold, you get cold - otherwise keep being friendly. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Adferger1 Posted June 28, 2015 Author Share Posted June 28, 2015 Just keep hanging out, having fun and hooking up. Keep It casual and keep doing what you're doing since it seems to be working. Don't push it forward into a relationship - just go with the flow. If she gets cold, you get cold - otherwise keep being friendly. So basicly just copy her? Should I keep letting her send the first text every time, or is it ok for me to start a conversation once in a while?? Link to post Share on other sites
Trishern Posted June 28, 2015 Share Posted June 28, 2015 She didn't treat you very well when she dumped you, especially doing it by test to begin with. She said it wasn't your fault at the time. She kept posting on FB about how happy she was right? You're doing great now, I suggest you keep your distance from her and enjoy your life. Don't reply her texts so fast, if she asks why tell her your a bit busy. When people dump you without a good reason, i,e. you were being a jerk, don't go back there. Mrs. Trishern 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Adferger1 Posted June 28, 2015 Author Share Posted June 28, 2015 She didn't treat you very well when she dumped you, especially doing it by test to begin with. She said it wasn't your fault at the time. She kept posting on FB about how happy she was right? You're doing great now, I suggest you keep your distance from her and enjoy your life. Don't reply her texts so fast, if she asks why tell her your a bit busy. When people dump you without a good reason, i,e. you were being a jerk, don't go back there. Mrs. Trishern Thanks a lot for your input. I try not to reply to fast. Mostly after 5 minutes or so, but every now and then I wait 1-2 hours before I reply. Link to post Share on other sites
ravfour4 Posted June 28, 2015 Share Posted June 28, 2015 You can initiate contact sometimes at this point. For the most part mimic her and just be yourself - don't overthink it too much. Link to post Share on other sites
ravfour4 Posted June 28, 2015 Share Posted June 28, 2015 Out of curiosity, how was contact restablished? Did she come right out and say she missed you or what? Link to post Share on other sites
Trishern Posted June 28, 2015 Share Posted June 28, 2015 Thanks a lot for your input. I try not to reply to fast. Mostly after 5 minutes or so, but every now and then I wait 1-2 hours before I reply. Your welcome. Can I ask if you still have feelings for her? Is she saying anything to indicate she want to get back with you? has she dated since you split up? Mrs. T Link to post Share on other sites
Author Adferger1 Posted June 28, 2015 Author Share Posted June 28, 2015 You can initiate contact sometimes at this point. For the most part mimic her and just be yourself - don't overthink it too much. Thanks man. The "dont overthink it" is good advice for me right now. Out of curiosity, how was contact restablished? Did she come right out and say she missed you or what? A lot of stuff is going on in my life at the moment. New job, and I need to move to another city. I have been updating my social pages about this new and exciting thing that is going on, but never said exactly what it was. So she contacted me to congratulate me. I told her it was sweet of her and said thanks. After this the ball just started rolling and we talked more and more ect. I guess the first text was to ""test the waters"... Your welcome. Can I ask if you still have feelings for her? Is she saying anything to indicate she want to get back with you? has she dated since you split up? Mrs. T Yes I still have feelings for her. She did have one guy, but it ended faster then it started. Actually it ended about 6 weeks ago. I dont know if there has been anyone else. This is the only one she has openly called her boyfriend, even though there was never anything that indicated it was at all serious. Link to post Share on other sites
Thistooshallpass21 Posted June 28, 2015 Share Posted June 28, 2015 Just out of curiosity why did you guys break up in the first place? Also did you keep a full 10 months of NC? To answer your question I agree with those who say mimic her interests she seems to be very interested again though. Congrats on the exciting new accomplishments in your life and also for seemingly getting what we all truly desire here on LS! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Adferger1 Posted June 29, 2015 Author Share Posted June 29, 2015 Thanks a lot for all the advice. It is very hard though. I dont want to show to much interest (needy) and I dont want to show to little interest either.... Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted June 29, 2015 Share Posted June 29, 2015 Thanks a lot for all the advice. It is very hard though. I dont want to show to much interest (needy) and I dont want to show to little interest either.... I'd err to the side of "too little" if I were you. She broke, she needs to fix. That being said, the best way to treat it is treat her like a new girl that you are possibly interested in dating. However, to do that you need to be pretty much recovered from the old relationship and be willing to start a new relationship, not reboot the old one. But if you aren't sure you can just be the happy fun single guy with her, going closer to "too little" is better than going toward "too much". Don't be rude and standoffish, but don't be eager and excited. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Adferger1 Posted June 30, 2015 Author Share Posted June 30, 2015 I'd err to the side of "too little" if I were you. She broke, she needs to fix. That being said, the best way to treat it is treat her like a new girl that you are possibly interested in dating. However, to do that you need to be pretty much recovered from the old relationship and be willing to start a new relationship, not reboot the old one. But if you aren't sure you can just be the happy fun single guy with her, going closer to "too little" is better than going toward "too much". Don't be rude and standoffish, but don't be eager and excited. Thanks a lot for your reply. Havent heard from her since we texted last Fridag. We agreed that I should come by for coffee, but never set up the exact day/time for it. Link to post Share on other sites
beach Posted June 30, 2015 Share Posted June 30, 2015 Why did you break up? You say you've improved and that's good! But has she improved? If not, expect the same issues from her. What is she offering to the relationship that shows she has changed? Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted June 30, 2015 Share Posted June 30, 2015 Thanks a lot for your reply. Havent heard from her since we texted last Fridag. We agreed that I should come by for coffee, but never set up the exact day/time for it. If she's interested, she'll inquire again. I'd just keep trucking forward and if you hear from her, then re-evaluate your next move. If she does broach coffee or something like that again, say something like "well, I'm probably free Friday (or whatever day) if that works for you." From there, if interested, she'll agree to that date or give you an alternate. You are being specific without chasing or pushing. If she doesn't say anything, then keep moving forward. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts