Editbee Posted June 28, 2015 Share Posted June 28, 2015 (edited) I find this a contradiction and doesn't make any sense. I have a younger friend in her early 20's that has been dating a shy, nerd for a couple months now. The guy has trouble making new friends and is still sometime shy in family reunions and other social gatherings. He didn't even talk a lot when even getting introduced to her parents. He's only comfortable with his few, known selective friend and with her. Nevertheless, she likes him a lot and doesn't mind. She's his first date and gf too. Her own father even notice he doesn't even have a sales pitch nor convincing lines that he ended up going softer on him than any other previous dates. But from what she told me, he kept laughing and making jokes about him. Her mother just feels sorry for him. So what do type of guy do parents want in the end for their daughter? They are always so busy worrying about the possible jerks breaking her heart and when finally getting a shy, nerd (the other total opposite) who is trying his best he's made fun of or pitied? Edited June 28, 2015 by Editbee Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden2 Posted June 28, 2015 Share Posted June 28, 2015 I honestly don't understand your question or point.... Let me try... Just because one has parents, one cannot consider them perfect. Parents are flawed humans like anyone else. To have certain expectations of them - to put them on a pedestal - is a recipe for failure and disappointment. I've had parents. And I am a parent. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Editbee Posted June 28, 2015 Author Share Posted June 28, 2015 I was pointing out one of the many contradictions. They want a good guy that treats their daughter well and the father most of the times assuming it might be a jerk. Yet, when coming across a shy type that obviously takes him time to even make a new friend it's still not good enough. That sounds like it's not good enough one way or the other, which is what I'm trying to point out. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted June 28, 2015 Share Posted June 28, 2015 I find this a contradiction and doesn't make any sense. I have a younger friend in her early 20's that has been dating a shy, nerd for a couple months now. The guy has trouble making new friends and is still sometime shy in family reunions and other social gatherings. He didn't even talk a lot when even getting introduced to her parents. He's only comfortable with his few, known selective friend and with her. Nevertheless, she likes him a lot and doesn't mind. She's his first date and gf too. Her own father even notice he doesn't even have a sales pitch nor convincing lines that he ended up going softer on him than any other previous dates. But from what she told me, he kept laughing and making jokes about him. Her mother just feels sorry for him. So what do type of guy do parents want in the end for their daughter? They are always so busy worrying about the possible jerks breaking her heart and when finally getting a shy, nerd (the other total opposite) who is trying his best he's made fun of or pitied? Well, being a shy nerd in no way indicates he's not a jerk. They can be controlling and so insecure they're overly jealous and some of our worst criminals come from this group. That's not to say they're all like that or anywhere close to all like that, but it truly is a big category of misfit that produces some problematic stalkerish criminals. And usually just the very nature of them being uncomfortable around people will ensure that they try very hard to control whoever they're with to make them excluse people they'd like to be around more, and that is a cornerstone and early sign of abuse. But yes, parents are often hypocritical. Because everyone makes mistakes when young and wishes to prevent their children from making the same mistakes, though it seems we all have to learn for outselves the hard way. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
misspond Posted June 28, 2015 Share Posted June 28, 2015 The thing is, the shy nerd could be a serial killer. The over-the-top show off could a be a total sweet-heart. As a parent to a pre-teen there isn't any boy that's going to be good enough for my daughter and no girl that will be good enough for my boy when he gets to dating age. I'm going to have to let go at some point though, and be there to pick up the pieces if necessary. Link to post Share on other sites
eye of the storm Posted June 28, 2015 Share Posted June 28, 2015 Are parents sometimes contradicting? Yes. Did this guy make the impression he is telling you he did? Who knows. He maybe thinks he killed the meeting, the parents may have a completely different viewpoint. Link to post Share on other sites
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