Love my best friend

[Zakuro]

I've known this guy for over 2 years now, of which around 1 he always treated me like his girlfriend. He's also my best friend. We spent so much time together that people would always ask us if we were a couple. He always called, sent a message by cellphone or emailed me when i didnt go to school n stuff. He's really shy and he's never had a gf before (and ive never had a bf before either) and we have so much things in common and i really love him. He was the sweetest! When I had to go on a trip to mexico city for 2 weeks he made me a comic more than 4 pages and gave me some stuff for 'good luck', and when i was in the trip he'd always send me messages by cellphone every single day, sometimes even at 1am or 8am if it was the only time he was able to do so. etc.

 

But then recently he started to act really distant, and i asked why he'd been like that and he said "... wow... i didnt know i got distant, but what do i know... look i havent been doin that consiunsly.. or whatever... and im sorry if i ever made you sad... the reason i coudnt talk to you on vacations is well... you had no phone.. and when i talked the answering mashine poped up, or my phone was missing, and when i found it i didnt have any credit and stuff... anyways theyre all excuses and if i ever do it again (wich i wont.. ill try anyways) you can come and kill me... so im sorry if i made you sad... you can hit me if you want..."

 

A while after i told him i liked him as more than a friend but he just said "oh, so you like me? well that isnt a big deal..is it? well i dunno about relationships so could you tell me what to do?" and we actually didnt talk about that till i brought it up later on and he said he's got planns to move to Japan in like in around a year or so and he said he didnt wanna get into a relationship with me cuz he wouldnt wanna leave me even more but he cant dump his plans for anyone. And he ended up saying we should start things and se where it goes. I was still a bit confused so later on i asked what he had meant and he said he had meant that we should be friends and when he got some load off (homework and stuff) itd be nice to be my boyfriend (and i never even asked him to be my bf).

 

And i told him i really wanted to be with him but if he didnt wanna be with me he should tell me and he said he doesnt know if he wants to or not and i told him i didnt wanna wait forever for him and he said he knew and we talked normally for some time about other stuff and i havent talked to him since (monday 25th), he even stopped going across the street to where his parents pick him up (and me too), he'd just stay at school and talk with other people and then when he saw they were there crossed the street. I really do love him and i dont wanna lose him, and its not convenient for me to not be friends with him cuz we still have a school year and a half together to finish and it isnt convenient cuz maybe i would still have feelings for him. I dunno if i should just try to move on or wait and see what happens or what! please help!

[gianig]

I think you are actual in love with him, my friend . It's a good sign for you, I guess be cause you never had a bf before!!! I'm also in your situation before but it's a quite different coz I am a boy. Maybe he does not consider you as his gf (if he love you actually, he will take more time with you, i guess). Maybe he still does not know how much you love him... although he is a man, he still have some shy??? I think the best way now is keep in touch with him and consider him as you best best friend than a bf. so far so good, don't worry about that (except in case he has new gf. In this case, you need to show your love first (time has chance, there are some case women need to show their loves first)). But don't worry, I think he loves you, he just waits...

[Zakuro]

Thanks, maybe youre right, ill just have to wait and see..

 

We didnt talk for like 2 weeks after that, then my friend told me he thought i was mad cuz he talked with his friends, then again another friend told me that at the time when I had stopped going there he was all sad and sulky all the time, and that he told her too that he thought i had a problem with him talking to his friends and other stuff and he was all emotional as he was telling her everything till he just said he just couldnt talk about it anymore and he'd tell her more some other time, she said he misses me n stuff ToT. I called him a while after n he just said "oh..hï.." and didnt talk!! I explained that i never had a prob with his friends n stuff, that i might have looked mad sometime but i was just frustrated cuz i didnt know what to do when we'd be talking n his other friends came n just interrupted n talked to him, i mean itd be rude to just walk away, but i didnt wanna interrupt or just auto-invite myself in their conversation n i was sorry if i made him feel uncomfortable, asked if we could still be friends, etc, n by the end of the conv (in which we both had to hang up n i couldnt finish talkin to him) he actually talked n was a bit happier sounding, then my friend told me that after that day he'd been more happy n stuff, and that the other day when he was talkin with one of his friends and i was talkin to one of mine but we were in the same place he was really nervous (nervous enough to forget his cd player!! which had to be a lot cuz he never forgets his stuff), before he went home i lent him a cd, then today i asked if he had listened to it and stuff n he actually talked to me pretty normally (considering what had just happened and the fact that he had a headache, and some other people tried talkin to him and he either ignored them or just nodded n stuff!)

But should i read something into it?? i mean, maybe hes just happy were friends again and in reality thats all he wants...but i dunno.. ToT

[Marshbear]

Emotions will always change a friendship. HE may not be ready for you our he just doesn't feel towards you like you so. I will be hard to be just friends when the fact that you like him more is out there. It might make him uncomfortable and he will change is usual patterns ( looks like he is doing that ). If you can be just friends with him then great but if you can't get past the fact that you like him and he either doesn't feel the same or doesn't know will be hard on you. You will wonder why he can't feel the same as you and there might be some anger and resentment towards him.

 

I wish you luck and hope things turn out as you want.

 

Peace...