bf broke up with me but now we're hooking up!

[beverlytwilight]

I'm 17 years old and my boyfriend and I have been dating for 1 and a half years. We met freshman year of high school and immediately fell in love. Over the summer, he goes away the whole time to a beach resort where his family lives over the summer. The first summer of our relationship I was sad yes, but I knew it was only a two hour trip to see him. I saw him once on his birthday and it was perfect! However, we barely talked when we were not together because he was always busy. Then, I learned from my friends on the island that he was smoking pot and drinking every single day, despite the fact he swore on my life he would tell me if he did. I told him I knew and we got into a humongous fight and since then he has been the most perfect boyfriend. The entire past year, he never went to any parties, never smoked or drank and due to this, he began to lose some of his friends as that was all they ever did. Beginning in February, I started talking about our summer plans and I mentioned how maybe we should take a break for the summer because last summer was horrible and I got so hurt over it. Whenever I would mention us taking a break, he would cry for hours. We almost broke up three times during the year, always with me initiating it as he never wanted to, and whenever I mentioned it he would come sobbing to me in a complete wreck saying he could never lose me. It was those times I realized I love him so much and never wanted to break up with him. From there we promised forever. We were each other's first everything and each other's first loves. As the summer approached, we began thinking of a plan and he would work with his parents every day about trying to get me to go with his family. As things were going well, I asked him if he was planning on smoking and drinking this summer as he hadn't the whole year. He said yes and out of anger I said never talk to me again. The next day, we went out to lunch and he told me if I wasn't okay with him smoking we shouldn't be together. That night I came home crying and my mom informed me that his parents told her he spent all last night crying over what I said. The next day, he told me he wasn't sure if he wanted a girlfriend anymore. Surely enough, a week later he broke up with me out of nowhere. Ironically I had been in his position so many times and never went through with it, despite all that he has done, and he actually went through with it even though I did nothing. All he said was that he didn't want a girlfriend anymore. A week went by without us talking, then we started talking and decided to be hook up buddies. He has been coming over every day now and we have started talking 24/7 again. However, when he comes over we barely hook up we mainly talk and cuddle and laugh and act like we're in a relationship. He continues to always make sure I get home safely and always wants to know where I am and what I'm doing. Then all of a sudden yesterday he bailed on us hanging out and started acting weird again. He's beginning to push me away and I'm so scared because I have such strong feelings for him and I'm not ready to lose him. His feelings were stronger than mine ever were, those cant just go away right? He truly treated me perfectly this past year and was so in love with me it was surreal. I feel as if I pushed him away from giving him ultimatums about the summer and now all I wanna do is take it back because I realize that this is the worst thing to ever happen to me and I want him back more than anything. The hard part is, he just left for the summer. Before he left, we hung out and it was honestly perfect. When he left, I was crying and he told me he loved me so much as a friend and would always care about me and just doesn't want a girlfriend right now but would let me know if anything changes. We have only talked a little bit since he left, as he is always busy or drunk. All I want to do is talk to him because I miss him so much and love him so much but all my friends keep telling me to let him miss me. Can he truly miss me if he is drunk all the time? I have not hit him up it is always him chatting me or texting me but its so hard. What can I do to make him realize how much he loves me? I know he still does and just hasn't realized it yet, I'm just scared he's gonna realize it too late and hook up with someone else. What can I do? Does he miss me?

[d0nnivain]

If you are broken up, stay away from him. Hooking up with him is self destructive on your part because you keep hurting yourself.