DepressedWaiting Posted May 4, 2005 Share Posted May 4, 2005 Right on... exactly! Oh but but but... he has to fix his messy business lawsuit first that he is involved in right now that is taken all his concentration and causing tremendous stress and get that taken care of first... then but but but comes the next excuse after that's done... After reading all these posts that is all I believe and nothing else. Link to post Share on other sites
Craig Posted May 4, 2005 Share Posted May 4, 2005 Originally posted by billybadass36 Marie - you'd be best not to be the recepticle for his stealing marital property from his marital estate. At a minimum you are involved in a criminal conspiracy to defraud and convert marital assets in the event of a divorce proceeding. I'd get yourself a legal opinion on this. If I was your MM's wife's divorce attorney, you'd bet your bootie I'd go finding where this $$ is. If she has even an inkling that he's cheating on her and if she's well-to-do, even if she doesn't know who you are YET, she WILL find out who you are when he moves out, and even the minimal amount of investigative work will locate this money and the person that aided in the syphoning off of marital property. You will be a co-defendant if she's got any sense at all. So, not only are you subjecting yourself to this low-life's repeated false promises, but he's made you a co-consiprator, engaging in fraudulent conveyances and possibly criminal activity depending on your jurisdiction. You have no idea what you're doing. Give him the money back...better yet, give his wife the money back. This is the most underhanded, conspiratorial circumstance that I've ever even heard of. You're not only willing to steal this woman's husband (if that illusory promise ever comes to fruition), but you're stealing her money as well. Wake up. Everyone here has been giving you sound advice and you heed none of it. Actually, I have no idea why I'm throwing my two cents in as it will be disregarded like the rest. This is what I was thinking billybadass36! If the crap hits the fan it could be one ugly ugly scene with more than a husband and wife in family court. Also, it really really looks like this MM wants to get caught and punished. People can't really be this stupid can they? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Marie1973 Posted May 4, 2005 Author Share Posted May 4, 2005 Hi My MM really doesn't care if he gets caught. From the very beginning of this relationship, he has put vacations, jewlery gifts, etc. apartment on his credit card. I did mention that they will see it all & he just didn't care. He is not stupid at all, this man is a very smart man. He is one step away from becoming the President of our company. Please don't call him stupid, he is a very smart man. Link to post Share on other sites
HoldOn Posted May 4, 2005 Share Posted May 4, 2005 Marie! You're here. Have you thought at all about going to a lawyer and finding out the law? Link to post Share on other sites
HoldOn Posted May 4, 2005 Share Posted May 4, 2005 Originally posted by DepressedWaiting Right on... exactly! Oh but but but... he has to fix his messy business lawsuit first that he is involved in right now that is taken all his concentration and causing tremendous stress and get that taken care of first... then but but but comes the next excuse after that's done... After reading all these posts that is all I believe and nothing else. Wah. Stress. All these poor poor married men are just soooo stressed out that they are frozen in fear. Oh, you poor thing, would you like another month to figure out if your wife is that bad afterall. It's amazing these married men get anything done at all with all the stress they are all going through. Link to post Share on other sites
phillygirl63 Posted May 4, 2005 Share Posted May 4, 2005 Marie, I agree. I think your mm is VERY smart and knows EXACTLY what he's doing. The sad thing is, he's not letting you in on it. Link to post Share on other sites
shellys-trying Posted May 4, 2005 Share Posted May 4, 2005 If you go out with a mm, then, you deserve what you get. Personally, going to jail for keeping some wife's hard earned $$$$ and having to be some woman's prison b****, are you nuts, Marie?! Are you THAT desperate for this mm's attention? Link to post Share on other sites
HoldOn Posted May 4, 2005 Share Posted May 4, 2005 Marie, maybe you could tell us which state you're in and we could look up the law for you? Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted May 4, 2005 Share Posted May 4, 2005 My MM really doesn't care if he gets caught. From the very beginning of this relationship, he has put vacations, jewlery gifts, etc. apartment on his credit card. Marie, if he truely didn't care, then why hasn't he come totally clean. TOLD everybody? Told her? Told his kids? Shield your heart honey...I'm sorry but he IS Smart...Too smart for his own good and yet so so SO dumb at the same time. Won't list all the reasons, other posters have though. And this isn't an attack on you, just really trying to get you to be abit more objective and see the whole picture. You're only seeing what you want to see - And that's his lines, many lines of BS. Link to post Share on other sites
jade_nc Posted May 4, 2005 Share Posted May 4, 2005 just a thought - but he may actually hope that he gets caught. it would be alot easier to leave evidence everwhere and let W find out than to actually sit her down and tell her. could also be why he hasn't left yet....doesn't have the guts to tell W. marie - just be sure that you're thinking of your own personal well being. i've been down that road. it can be completely devastating on so many levels. even if he does finally walk out the door, life won't be fun for him and you'll have to deal with that aspect as well. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted May 4, 2005 Share Posted May 4, 2005 And the wife isn't looking for it or any clues cuz she's in dark and doesn't know...Or really not wanting to know. Link to post Share on other sites
FolderWife Posted May 4, 2005 Share Posted May 4, 2005 Or maybe he was so careless with the credit card, because *gasp* he has a po box that his wife doesn't know about!! And the credit card statement is sent to THAT SECRET PO BOX!!! if my husband can get a po box and porn without nosey me finding out about it for a couple of months, then any man can pull this stuff off. So he's acting like he doesn't care if he gets caught with you, and his wife is sitting at home thinking she pays all the bills. Link to post Share on other sites
cow Posted May 4, 2005 Share Posted May 4, 2005 hi marie, i am an ex ow and it has taken me about three months to get my blinkers off when it comes to my ex mm. even now i cannot say that i am completely cured as i still have moments but i certainly can see so much more of what he was and it makes me sick to think of him now. i never ever thought that i would feel that way about him. it was so hard to accept i had been used and lied to by him i thought i could never deal with it. i dont know what it is about the ow/mm relationship that makes it so addictive and so hard to break away from, its certainly nothing i have ever experienced before, in any other relationship. i think it is a combination of things, whatever it is it has a very powerful psychological hook. i'll say one thing though although it is sooo difficult to get over the first part there really is not alot to miss about them. all the lies when you see them just make you sick. i actually saw him hobbling up the street earlier and it was not an attractive sight, whatever possessed me? at one time i thought he was gorgeous!?? i havent read all the other posts marie so if i repeat anything anyone else has said i am sorry but this: "My MM is 53 & also says its not like he has 30 years to work. So for him its not going to be easy either. He did say one time that when the time of his life that he should have the most money, he is going to have the least. But he said we will work through it together."QUOTE and other things you say he has said just makes me feel really ill, he is a nasty clever manipulator. if this was really the situation he would not even utter such things do you see? he has back out clauses all the way along, he also keeps you sure that he thinks of you as a future team-it is just not the sort of thing a normal honest man would say. a normal honest man woul not even put these concerns onto you, if he was genuine about you starting a life together. try and look honestly deep into your heart marie and see what you really feel is true. believe me i know how hard this is but i really honestly believe this man is not genuine. i would not say such things if i wasnt sure because i am very responsible with my words to vunerable people. i wish you luck sweetie marie to get away from this horrible man, big (((hugs))) to you, please draw on all this support and any other support you can get and stay away from anyone or thing that weakens you including this man. do it now, not in july. noone will give up on you marie but just do it sooner for your own sake. Oh and GLOW shut your big dumb mouth, it is only the weak that depend on the downfall of others to define their own character, remember that. Link to post Share on other sites
billybadass36 Posted May 4, 2005 Share Posted May 4, 2005 Originally posted by Marie1973 He is not stupid at all, this man is a very smart man. He is one step away from becoming the President of our company. Please don't call him stupid, he is a very smart man. If he's that smart, why is he stressed about a messy lawsuit involving his business? Between this business lawsuit and his invitation to open you up to potential civil/criminal liability by diverting marital property into some shill bank account in your name, this guy is starting to look like a pretty not-so-slick operator. It isn't going to be hard for you to go down with him, and here's the kicker - HE WON"T CARE ABOUT THE EFFECT THIS HAS ON YOU. How long exactly has this "I'm going to leave her..." promise been going on? Months? Years? What makes you think come July he's going to all of a sudden do it? His track record is that of an unfaithful, dishonest, narcissistic scofflaw. But then again, he must be just oh so dreamy. I'm sure most little girls want to grow up to be the "straw woman" in the marital fund syphoning game. Good luck with that. Link to post Share on other sites
billybadass36 Posted May 4, 2005 Share Posted May 4, 2005 Anyone else think this is a train wreck that's been going on is super-slow-motion? I just can't divert my eyes from this disaster in waiting. Let us all know when your bank records get subpoenaed. Link to post Share on other sites
Circles Posted May 4, 2005 Share Posted May 4, 2005 Originally posted by Monday Or maybe he was so careless with the credit card, because *gasp* he has a PO box that his wife doesn't know about!! And the credit card statement is sent to THAT SECRET PO BOX!!! So he's acting like he doesn't care if he gets caught with you, and his wife is sitting at home thinking she pays all the bills. Originally posted by whichwayisup Marie, if he truly didn't care, then why hasn't he come totally clean. TOLD everybody? Told her? Told his kids? Shield your heart honey...I'm sorry but he IS Smart...Too smart for his own good and yet so so SO dumb at the same time. Won't list all the reasons, other posters have though. And this isn't an attack on you, just really trying to get you to be abit more objective and see the whole picture. You're only seeing what you want to see - And that's his lines, many lines of BS. Marie, Outside of business trips and work how often do you see him. I have not viewed all of your posts, have you met his family ( Mother, fahter, sibings , if so do they accept you. Have the two of you spent any holidays together for more than 8 hours, not work related? Link to post Share on other sites
HoldOn Posted May 4, 2005 Share Posted May 4, 2005 I found this about NJ divorce law: "4. What can a spouse do if a husband or wife tries to dissipate and hide assets prior to or after the filing of divorce? A very common problem in many cases is that after the complaint for divorce is filed, then one spouse attempts to dissipate and hide valuable marital assets. In such circumstances, if a spouse wrongfully transfers marital assets to a third party for no or insufficient consideration, then a cause of action may be filed against not only the spouse but also the third party based upon the fraudulent conveyance. " http://www.divorcesource.com/NJ/ARTICLES/sliwinski5.html Link to post Share on other sites
RecordProducer Posted May 4, 2005 Share Posted May 4, 2005 YOU PEOPLE ARE SO RIDICULOUS!!! You believe him now just like Marie believes him. There will be NO divorce and he won't give Marie any money except what he already gave her and maybe a few more $K just to keep the fire burning. So nobody is going to jail. Marie will break off in July, but get back to him in August. He will prolong the promises every time for a few more weeks or months and eventually Marie will realize that he is not going to leave his wife ever. But she won't be able to dump him cuz she's so incurably in love with him so she will keep seeing him for a while with the thought "I know he will never be fully mine, but he loves me and I love him." When the love gets less passionate, he will leave Marie for another young and beautiful woman. Marie will suffer then wipe her tears off, find another man and be happy with him. Link to post Share on other sites
HoldOn Posted May 4, 2005 Share Posted May 4, 2005 I don't think he's going to leave. In fact, didn't I bet a million dollars on it! I'm just pointing out that he is lying about having to put money away to protect it because it won't work and it would just get her in trouble. He's a liar, that's all I'm saying. Link to post Share on other sites
MySugaree Posted May 4, 2005 Share Posted May 4, 2005 When the love gets less passionate, he will leave Marie for another young and beautiful woman. Marie will suffer then wipe her tears off, find another man and be happy with him Ever the romatic, RP. Link to post Share on other sites
shellys-trying Posted May 4, 2005 Share Posted May 4, 2005 DITTO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
EnigmaXOXO Posted May 4, 2005 Share Posted May 4, 2005 Oh well, I suppose if this clever man (cough, cough) doesn't leave, Marie could skip town with the money that is now in her account and in her name. She may need it to pay for the rent, furniture and utilities he's been providing thus far. I can't imagine that he'd be willing to continue supporting her if she follows through with her July deadline to cut him off. Either way, one of the ladies will have his money and he'll pay to play. Just seems like a smart man would have done a better job at covering his assetts. Something's just not adding up here… Link to post Share on other sites
RecordProducer Posted May 4, 2005 Share Posted May 4, 2005 Enigma, the MM is not supporting Marie. She said she makes lots of money on her own and doesn't depend on him financially whatsoever. Only emotionally. Link to post Share on other sites
EnigmaXOXO Posted May 4, 2005 Share Posted May 4, 2005 Did I misunderstand this, then?? The apartment is rented in his name. He writes the bills with his checks & pays for the furniture, electricity all in his name. Ever since we started this he paid for everything in his name. Link to post Share on other sites
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