Leaving - UPDATE

[MySugaree]

If there is a fraudulent conveyance, and I'm not saying there is, a good asset-hound attorney would love a transcription of this Thread. This Thread, especially Marie's startling admissions, would be Exhibit "A."

 

Correct me if I'm wrong but isn't the MM a CEO and Marie works for him in the company? If this is a closely held private corporation, with little financial controls, perhaps the incentive monies come out of corporate coffers, not this guy's bank account. That would explain why he's so generous: The money is not even his.

[forms]

Originally posted by MySugaree

If this is a closely held private corporation, with little financial controls, perhaps the incentive monies come out of corporate coffers, not this guy's bank account. That would explain why he's so generous: The money is not even his.

 

And traceable right into Marie's bank account--a bank account listed solely in her name.

 

But--never mind. Marie knows exactly what is going on. That's why she was so sure he was moving out in June 2004--their love was so strong they couldn't bare to live without each other! No, wait! Make that "March 2004" when the furniture comes. Wrong again, "April, April 1", he's really going to do it. I miean "May"... oops, make that "July 2005". In any case, he's as good as his word and Marie can believe everything he says and knows exactly what is going on.

 

Not.

[EnigmaXOXO]

From one of your earlier posts:

 

 

The worst part is that he is the Vice President of the company i work for.

 

 

 

I hope that you have already contemplated the possible ramifications of this as well, Marie.

 

Have you already prepared yourself in the event that you might need to change jobs? In the terrible event that your July deadline doesn't come to fruition, and you actually follow through with your resolve to end this relationship -- what are the chances that you could be terminated under false pretenses? Or at very least, have to submit your resignation because of your resentment for having been screwed on so many levels.

 

Goodness, the more details I read the worse your predicament sounds.

 

Can't look anymore. This is just terrible. . .

[BoatingBabe]

This thread is making me sick to my stomach

[RecordProducer]

Wow! I read what FORMS wrote and I saw something that I didn't previously think of. This man who is a liar and cheater, and is probably lying to you also, might have financial troubles. Indeed, what is putting a few thousand $ on aside compare to the high style he lives?

Maybe his wife found out about his cheating and is divorcing him and he knows he will be left with nothing. Hence the July deadline, he might want to try and work things out with his wife. If he divorces her, it seems that he will practically be a poor man. He would have 1/4 of the marital assets only and basically left with nothing of his own. While YOU have a lot of money. You seem like a good catch!

No man would escape from a high-standard life just to be with his mistress. Money prevents them from marrying, leaving their wives, re-marrying... Men are not as romantic as women. They seek comfort. And he has it.

I am pretty sure his wife found out and wants to divorce him and kick him out of the house. He is afraid to stay poor and him giving you peanuts to store in your account is his last resort to save something. The fact that he is doing this thing with the money speaks for itself- he cares about money more than you think, he fears his wife, he fears that he will lose his fortune and comfort. Furthermore, the fact that he doesn't want to sleep with you until July also speaks of two things: he doesn't care to have sex with you as much as he cares about money and he probably promised his wife that he won't see you ever again.

Why don't you try a little experiment?

Call his wife and say: "Hello, this is Marie. Do you know who I am?"

If she says "No," pretend that you have mistaken the number, that you were looking for some other name. Your MM will never find out about it. And even if he does, who cares? He's the liar and cheater that's pulling your nose. Will he dump you because of that if his love is so strong?

But if his wife happens to say: "Yes, I know who you are..."

[shellys-trying]

I think RP has a fantastic idea! Try the call up idea and see how it goes?

 

What do you have to lose?

[Marie1973]

Ok guys this is getting out of control

No i am not calling his wife.

 

& no he is not stealing money from our company.

 

You guys are like making up fake stories & thats not why

i came here.

 

If you guys don't stop with the ridiculous made up stories, you

will not see me here much longer.

 

I can't believe what this post has turned into.

I'm so close to never coming here again

 

Making up stories of my MM life, REcordProducer?? TOTALLY RIDICULOUS

[RecordProducer]

Originally posted by Marie1973

Making up stories of my MM life, REcordProducer?? TOTALLY RIDICULOUS

 

Marie, figuring out someone and his actions is reading between the lines, not making up stories. The blind kind of trust you gave this cheater and liar might tumble on your head eventually. You would rather put your head in the sand and take his every word for granted than check for yourself what's going on?

Do you really think his wife doesn't know about you? And sits still about the situation? He has a lot to lose so she can play with him. It doesn't seem that the two of you have been very careful since you've traveled together, you went to his house, you spend one night a week together, talk a lot on the phone, etc. Read some of the posts where women describe how easily they have caught their men cheating. They check their cell phones, email accounts, bank accounts, get anonymous calls, etc. Unless this woman is a total idiot, she must have felt that something is wrong with her husband.

How can you be so sure that she doesn't even suspect that you exist? How can you be so sure in his love when he does nothing to prove it except that he has a lot of fun with you?

[shellys-trying]

ok well

[RecordProducer]

Originally posted by shellys-trying

ok well you are out of control, Marie and I hope his wife finds out and beats your butt, so there!

 

Okay, why can't some of you guys make a difference between:

 

1. I am trying to help by explaining how I view things, and

 

2. I am being judgemental and offensive???

 

What's the point of doing this? If the man decided to not cheat, Marie wouldn't be here. When men post about their cheating wives the OM is never relevant. They are always angry at their wives only. Why would it be different when a man cheats?

[cow]

hi marie,

i am an ex ow and it has taken me about three months to get my blinkers off when it comes to my ex mm. even now i cannot say that i am completely cured as i still have moments but i certainly can see so much more of what he was and it makes me sick to think of him now.

i never ever thought that i would feel that way about him.

it was so hard to accept i had been used and lied to by him i thought i could never deal with it. i dont know what it is about the ow/mm relationship that makes it so addictive and so hard to break away from, its certainly nothing i have ever experienced before, in any other relationship. i think it is a combination of things, whatever it is it has a very powerful psychological hook.

i'll say one thing though although it is sooo difficult to get over the first part there really is not alot to miss about them. all the lies when you see them just make you sick. i actually saw him hobbling up the street earlier and it was not an attractive sight, whatever possessed me? at one time i thought he was gorgeous!??

i havent read all the other posts marie so if i repeat anything anyone else has said i am sorry but this:

 

"My MM is 53 & also says its not like he has 30 years to work. So for him its not going to be easy either. He did say one time that when the time of his life that he should have the most money, he is going to have the least. But he said we will work through it together."QUOTE

 

and other things you say he has said just makes me feel really ill, he is a nasty clever manipulator. if this was really the situation he would not even utter such things do you see? he has back out clauses all the way along, he also keeps you sure that he thinks of you as a future team-it is just not the sort of thing a normal honest man would say.

a normal honest man woul not even put these concerns onto you, if he was genuine about you starting a life together. try and look honestly deep into your heart marie and see what you really feel is true. believe me i know how hard this is but i really honestly believe this man is not genuine. i would not say such things if i wasnt sure because i am very responsible with my words to vunerable people.

i wish you luck sweetie marie to get away from this horrible man, big (((hugs))) to you, please draw on all this support and any other support you can get and stay away from anyone or thing that weakens you including this man. do it now, not in july. noone will give up on you marie but just do it sooner for your own sake.

 

 

[shellys-trying]

What amazes me about this forum, or parts of it really, is how the OW can wonder why her MM isn't being honest with her.

He isn't being honest with his wife either, so don't feel bad, or his kids (if there are any).

He's not being honest with anyone!

This same opinion can be used for OM, too.

 

If you cheat on your spouse, whatever gender you are, you're being dishonest. Period.

OW or OM, don't expect to be respected any better than the cheating spouse's wife or husband.

[Marie1973]

shelly trying

 

go the hell up

how old are we 18??

 

SO SORRY GUYS I'M OUTTA HERE!

YOU WON'T SEE ME REPLYING BACK ANYMORE

 

THESE PEOPLE ON HERE ARE FREAKIN' PATHETIC!!

 

WOULD SOMEONE PLEASE LET ME KNOW HOW TO DELETE ALL MY POSTS.

YOU PEOPLE ARE A BUNCH OF IMMATURE IDIOTS

 

SEE YA

U WON'T BE HEARING FROM ANYMORE

[shellys-trying]

The truth hurts but we all have to face some hard facts concerning an affair, whoever you are in the affair, wife, OW or hubby.

Sorry you didn't like my opinion. I won't change it, just like you won't listen to ppl who are try to make you "SEE THE LIGHT".

[jade_nc]

listen, i understand your pain. i've been on both sides of the fence. but telling someone you hope they get their butt kicked is NOT constructive.

 

opinions of all sorts are fine - telling someone you wish them bodily harm for their actions isn't.

 

if you want to rant about the OP in an affair, post it in the rant forum or go to the infedility forum. this isn't the place to vent your personal frustrations from your H's infedility.

[MySugaree]

I'm sorry you feel that way, Marie. Personally, I'd love to know how your relationship plays out.

 

You've taken some strong hits, here. Shackers, for the most part, don't hate the OW. Rather, they hate the unaplogetic OW. This lack of OW contrition drives certain posters into a feeding frenzy. When that happens the purpose is not to inform or assist but to validate one's morality, strength of character or inherent goodness especially as compared to the hapless OW poster. You see this "I'm a good person, you're not" chest thumping all the time when infidelity is involved.

 

I know you're angry and hurt but alot of folks care about you and your plight. Many posted caring, constructive comments. If you can, focus on those posters who exhibited critical compassion as opposed to judgmental oneupmanship.

 

Good luck.

[shellys-trying]

I was venting some frustration for Marie's ignorance, not a past A.

 

I think she shouldn't be putting what could be her future stepchildren down for being immature.

How immature is that?

 

If I'm venting on my H's OW, you will know it, believe me.

 

This girl came on here and I've heard, I repeat again, some good advice and she knocks it down everytime.

She wants everyone on this forum, fellow OW or Wives, to ok it for her. There was no one to Ok her having an A with the MM before she embarked on this that she's going through, why is she asking ppl now about what she should do?

 

Am I the only one thinking this? Why does she continue to dash down good advice?

Go figure!

[shellys-trying]

Yes, Sugaree, you are right, about the unapologetic thing. I can admit to that.

 

I have tried to get past that and look beyond, but this poor sad creature time after time gets some advice and BANG, there's an excuse in her everytime.

 

She really reminds me alot of me when I was in denial of my H's A. I did have to face facts eventually and this girl will too, one way or another.

 

Good luck, Marie1973, and good bye.

[phillygirl63]

To a certain point point MySugaree, you are not completely off the mark. I understand what you are saying and I feel that sometimes goes on too. But, I think what got some people so upset with this particular thread is the fact that she was so willingly participating in hiding money from his wife and children. Actually, the children is what really gets me. Marie is 32 years old not 22. She knows fully well what she is doing and in one of her posts seemed quite delighted with herself when she came up with another idea for helping her lover "relocate" the money. The posts kept getting worse and worse and Marie kept portraying herself as the "victim" with the big bad MM forcing her to take part in such immoral and possibly illegal shenanigans. This is a forum for people to not only give advice but to express opinions. With a topic like this and with so much disregard shown to his family there is going to be very blunt criticism and remarks made. Sometimes, the marks are uncalled for and sometimes not. I think it's absurd for her to come to a public forum, tell such a tale of deceit and conspiracy against a relatively innocent woman and her children, and not expect some backlash and I think it's really unfair of you and others on here to just sum every critical comment to the "bitter, old, cheated on wife" syndrome.

[whichwayisup]

There's a big difference between freely giving one's thoughts/advice to help...But it became a huge personal attack most of the time, or that is how I think she felt.

 

Either way, it's an awful situation she's in...She's inlove and can't see what's around the corner.

 

I'm sorry to see her go because I think she really needed support. I hope she finds another forum to post and get some help.

[glow2]

Originally posted by phillygirl63

I think it's absurd for her to come to a public forum, tell such a tale of deceit and conspiracy against a relatively innocent woman and her children, and not expect some backlash and I think it's really unfair of you and others on here to just sum every critical comment to the "bitter, old, cheated on wife" syndrome.

 

Well, I tryed giving her a different perspective....as a single woman talking to another single woman, and how great life can be when you say "NO" to married men. They've hit on me countless times, but I deserve better...I for one refuse to turn my life into one big, ugly mess.

 

Anyways - she didn't bother to listen to me either......IMO the situation is hopeless.

 

Originally posted by whichwayisup

I hope she finds another forum to post and get some help.

Why??? She's expecting support and miracle answers from ordinary folks, I hope she finds a shrink.

 

Goodbye Marie

[LucreziaBorgia]

I expect she'll turn to a site that provides support, advice and encouragement for OW. Then she'll get to hear only what she wants to hear, and she can share her story from beginning to what will prove to be, no doubt, an interesting ending as well.

[billybadass36]

Well, I'm sorry to see her go. Hopefully in mid-july she'll post that her MM has fulfilled his promise to her and has moved in. If not, I think she's set him up for a pretty good quid pro quo & hostile work environment sexual harassment case since he's the VP of the company she works for. She could be afraid to cut him off for fear of reprisals at the workplace. I'd take that case and I'd have a pretty easy time of painting the picture of the daily stress and humiliation that she's had to endure succumbing to this guy's sexual advances out of fear of retribution in the workplace. So, Marie, if it doesn't work out come July, sue the bazeejus out of him and his company.

[forms]

Originally posted by billybadass36

I'd take that case and I'd have a pretty easy time of painting the picture of the daily stress and humiliation that she's had to endure succumbing to this guy's sexual advances out of fear of retribution in the workplace. So, Marie, if it doesn't work out come July, sue the bazeejus out of him and his company.

 

She might have lost that option, when she put his money in her account. It's probably not the case, but there's a small possibility that the money is coming from the company. Can you image her filing a sexual harassment suit and him pointing out that she's got company money in her account. How would she like to be sued for embezzlement? Farfetched, maybe. But odder things have happened. If it's true he's not having sex with her anymore (and I'm not sure I believe her), then maybe he is setting himself up get out of the affair with little damage to himself and have her quietly go find employment elsewhere. Executives are extremely aware of the damage caused by sexual harassment suits. Marie does not know where the money is coming from. In an earlier post, she says he was getting it from his paycheck, later she says it was from cash. $50,000 worth of cash is funny business--always. In fact, banks won't accept more than $9,999 in cash deposits without people declaring where it came from and why it is cash and the declaration forms are sent to the FBI. If she wants to believe that the cash came from his paychecks over a long time, then that's what she'll believe. No one knows really what's going on with this guy--only definite thing is that he is doing something underhanded and is lying to Marie as well as to his wife.

 

Marie's problem is that she is extremely naive. I'm sure she'll be offended by this, but it's no crime to be naive. She's 32 years old and is still living with her parents. She's planning on jumping from her parents house to her lover's house and skip the living on her own phase in life. Living on one's own does not immunize one against making bad relationship decisions, but it does show a person that she can do it on her own emotionally if she has to. It's hard to learn to be a woman on your own, but it's better than going from a girl to a wife, from the protection of one's parents to the protection of a man, without learning to protect oneself (being in college doesn't count--that's being under the protection of the college). She skipped a crucial step in development. At 32, she likely feels the need to move on and find an adult place in her life, but is scared or unsure of how to build one on her own, so she's depending on him to create one for her. I wouldn't be surprised if he's exploiting that. But I'm also not surprised that she defends him. She has to--her alternatives in life if he disappoints her are to stay a child under her parents roof or to face the scary world on her own. Much better to believe he will rescue her.

 

She knows he's playing her. In several of the earlier posts she admitted she didn't think he'd ever leave his wife. She's cried and cried about this. Why cry if you are so sure? She's not. But she sees no alternative but to give him another chance and the benefit of the doubt. She doesn't dare call the wife and find out the truth. She can't really handle the truth yet.

 

I hope she doesn't leave this forum, she needs to think about many of the posts here. And when her world falls apart, she will need the support this forum offers.

 

I must have missed it. Why aren't they having sex until July? Who's idea was it?

[erika2610]

Originally posted by Marie1973

HI

No he is not telling his wife that he is leaving her for someone else.

THere marriage has been dead for over 15 years.

They aren't close at all.

He has no feelings for her at all, if he did, he wouldn't be cheating on her.

Don't ya think??

 

THere is no way that would be a scenerio what-so-ever

Not even a thought in my head.

 

Word for word what my MM said to me.. but when it came down to it, and he got caught, guess who was out in the cold? Not her..

Word for word..

They only lived together.. there were no feelings.

They didnt even share a bed

Blah blah blah..