Cra Posted June 29, 2015 Share Posted June 29, 2015 Hey guys, I'm having a tough time actually letting go of feelings of my ex girlfriend, even after everything see put me through. We were together for 2 years and talked for a couple of months before we became official. About a month and a half ago, she dumped me out the blue and I was a deer caught in the headlights. It sucked, but I agreed that we needed it, since we're both pretty young and need room to grow, her reason was that she wanted to be independent and focus on herself. Now the part I'm having trouble with. A week and half after she dumped me, I find out that she was crushing hard on another guy (wasn't doing NC at the time because it was my first breakup, no idea what I was doing). They were friends and they actually met while we were still together. They went on their first date 2 weeks after she broke up with me and became official 4 weeks ago. He's already friends with all of her friends, they do a lot of interesting things together, and he doesn't look like a rebound to me. I've been trying to do NC for a month, but I keep breaking it every 2 or 3 weeks. And facebook doesn't help either, since im friends with a lot of her friends and group outings pop up. Recently, they had two group parties and her new boyfriend was at each one. It seriously hurts. Seeing my replacement, a new guy standing where I stood just over a month ago, already close amoung her friend group. I keep constantly comparing myself to him, thinking that I became inadequate so she left me for this guy. And then the thoughts of them having sex kills me, which I try my best not to think about. How can you move onto someone so quickly after a breakup? Let alone be in another serious relationship? I can't even comprehend how you start develop feelings for some one week after getting out of a relationship. Shes off doing things were her new guy, while I'm still trying to get over the thought of her. I'm doing NC and I'm keeping myself busy, focusing on myself. But I still have feelings for her and I still think about her daily, which I don't understand, especially after everything she's put me through. How can I not care about her? Even when I'm doing NC, I still have feelings for her and think about her most of my day. She's pretty much treated me like crap through the breakup, while I still care for her and would still want to be in a relationship with her deep down. I'm tired of caring for this person. How did you guys do it? Link to post Share on other sites
Yummm Posted June 29, 2015 Share Posted June 29, 2015 NC gives you the chance to really speed up your healing, move on and eventually settle your emotions towards your ex (feel indifferent) and also allows her to see what life is like without you, and giving you the chance to have control over the situation IF she does decide to approach you. You need to want to let go to be able to move on further. You still care about her and she is still on your mind, but that's normal. Don't rush the emotions or try hide them or else they will haunt you in the future. When the thoughts come, try to put them into the back of your mind instead of the front, that way you don't dwell on them, you just let them pass and they will. Link to post Share on other sites
Itspointless Posted June 29, 2015 Share Posted June 29, 2015 her reason was that she wanted to be independent and focus on herself. [...] How can you move onto someone so quickly after a breakup? Let alone be in another serious relationship?it? Ah yes that lame excuse. Just because you will wonder at some point: some people really move quick, but - and this is going to sound cruel - it is more probable they started before you two broke-up. Sorry man, try to follow Yummm his advice. Be kind to yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cra Posted June 29, 2015 Author Share Posted June 29, 2015 Yeah I believe she started to lose interest in me as soon as she got to know this guy better. It kinda makes me feel even worse knowing that. She's willing to risk losing you forever to be with a guy she thinks is worth more than the risk. Link to post Share on other sites
loveiswar101 Posted June 30, 2015 Share Posted June 30, 2015 OK. You can't control other people. You can only control u. Now think of how you say you still want a relationship with the woman. Now think again of how she has probably gone behind your back, also think of how you say she has treated you like crap. Move on...go NC...never look back and most of all look after you. It's hard I know but when I think of my ex and second chances I think of what she said and did. No brainer. 8 weeks on and I'm not healed but well on the way. You can do it too. Best wishes. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
KatZee Posted June 30, 2015 Share Posted June 30, 2015 I've had this done to me, a few times actually, so I get how much it sucks. You're doing yourself no favors by looking at Facebook. When my ex broke up with me for someone else, I immediately blocked him on Facebook, and then hid notifications for mutual friends we had, and just straight up deleted people I didn't care to even have on my account anymore. You need to do a major purge of social media right now, and if that means deactivating your accounts so you can just come back to the real world, so be it. Why are you torturing yourself like that, looking at pictures of them? Link to post Share on other sites
Jonp219 Posted June 30, 2015 Share Posted June 30, 2015 Come on bro. Don't look at pictures of them together, I couldn't imagine the torture you're putting yourself through doing all that. Completely block them from every social media outlet. No way you should be looking at any of those pictures. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cra Posted July 1, 2015 Author Share Posted July 1, 2015 I didn't unfollow our mutual friends on facebook, found out how important that is after the fact. I found that they took a group beach pic and they were all tagged in it, along with her new boyfriend. I couldn't help but snoop some more after that, I have no idea why I did but the urge was so strong. I don't remember how or why, but I ended up on her boyfriends instagram. Huge mistake. Definitely taught me a lesson to never do that again. It definitely set me back a few steps and I'm really regretting it. For some reason though, seeing all of those pictures finally helped me let go of the idea of ever getting back together, along with the idea of ever being friends, or ever talking, for that matter. Seeing her in a serious relationship already goes to show how much I really meant to her in the end. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Ariess10 Posted July 2, 2015 Share Posted July 2, 2015 It's funny this thing we call dating , how you can be "in love" one moment And the next moment the person is a stranger .. I will never understand it , I have always been the guy that's wanted the long term forever idea thing .. I just haven't found it, and I won't understand how some people can just turn their backs on someone they "loved" 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Reiben17 Posted July 9, 2015 Share Posted July 9, 2015 I won't understand how some people can just turn their backs on someone they "loved" THIS, exactly. I feel pathetic every time i admit how much being dumped affected me... But exactly this thought gave me sleepless nights for a long time... Link to post Share on other sites
BriNyc82 Posted July 9, 2015 Share Posted July 9, 2015 I think we are all similar in nature just for all signing up and being on this blog to begin with. We are people who are in touch with feelings and want to talk it out and want to fight this head on. I think all of our exes are probably similar too 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts