lonelyctg Posted May 1, 2005 Share Posted May 1, 2005 [font=century gothic][/font][color=darkblue][/color] Hi everybody. I have a huge problem with my husband, we will be married 4 years this August. The problem is he keeps lying to me, I catch him in the stupidist lies, for example, I gave him a lottery ticket to cash in for me that was worth 30.00 or so I thought. Turns out it was worth 50.00. He handed me the 30 dollars, and then when he was putting our shopping bags in the trunk, I happened to glance over his way and saw him stuffing 20.00 in his pocket. Ok, you may say, no big deal, well, I asked him where he got the 20.00 and he says, "I had it" then I said, you hid it in the trunk? Then he says "yeah" so he gets in the car, pulls out his keys, and a lottery cash in slip falls out of his pocket. It says "50 dollar winner" so duhhhh.... I grabbed it and said "oh, my ticket was worth 50, eh?" "and you werent going to tell me, you just let me think it was worth 30 and you keep the rest." I was pissed. It's these kinds of lies that he keeps telling me. I find porn dvd's hidden all around the house, in the car under the seats, it's disgusting. Over the past 4 years I have caught him lying several times. We even have an ebay business and once he took some of our high priced items behind my back over to his brother's house to sell without my knowledge. (So he could keep all the money) I just don't understand this behavior. It is really getting to me. He wants me to trust him, but how can I? Our last bank statement had porn web site charges too. He lied about it also. I am fed up. Sorry so long guys, I need to vent, I need to find a solution. Does this man really love me? How can you lie to someone you are supposed to love??? What to do..................... Link to post Share on other sites
Hannah Posted May 2, 2005 Share Posted May 2, 2005 your right for wanting to express your anger, it must be so frustrating having to put up with this. you should sit him down and ask him, why all the lies, be strong, your not willing to put up with it! appraoch him about why he does it also, maybe he has a gambling problem if hes constantly trying to get extra cash. just an idea. hope it helps just remember dont give in as u dont wont this to affect your marriage for the worse Link to post Share on other sites
New_Wife Posted May 2, 2005 Share Posted May 2, 2005 Marriage counseling. There's too much NOT said for me to even guess. Affair, drugs, just bad communication - it could be anything. I highly reccommend marraige counseling. I'd be peeved too - from what you wrote, BTW. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lonelyctg Posted May 2, 2005 Author Share Posted May 2, 2005 Hey everyone. Thanks for the replies. My husband has been out of a job for the last 6 months, so he doesn't have any spending money of his own. (I am the one working full time) so perhaps that is why he lied about the money he tried to keep from the lottery ticket. I don't think he is having an affair, I am always with him at night, he does'nt go out, he stays home. I think maybe he was raised to believe that lying is ok or something. Same with porn. He admitted to me once that his father let him watch porn at an early age. When we first got married, he began to lie about the porn, and he hides it now all the time. (of course i know it doesnt help when I get mad at him for it.) But I am like many woman out there, I don't think there is a place for porn in a marriage! But I am getting off track. I have discussed marriage counsiling before with him and he doesn't believe in it. Someone mentioned drugs, yes, he does smoke tons of pot and does coke once in awhile, but he usually doesn't buy it, one of his friend's lets him use his. If my husband gets caught in yet another lie, I will be forced to give him a choice, either treat me like you love me, (which means you don't lie- duh) or this is not going to work. If you can't trust your own husband, who in the hell can you trust? And men wonder why their woman end up turning to men outside the relationship. Duh..... why can't they just get a clue for God's sake???? Link to post Share on other sites
jade_nc Posted May 3, 2005 Share Posted May 3, 2005 i'm so sorry that you're going through this. i have been living in the same type of relationship for 5 years now. just be sure that you are ready to follow through on the choice you give him. you've been through it enough times now to know that it will happen again. marriage counseling may not be the answer - he may need individual counseling to help him figure out why he can't be honest. i blame myself for it all the time - i'm not understanding enough, i'm not giving him what he needs, etc. the fact his, you can't stop his behavior and you have to decide for yourself if you can keep living with it. Link to post Share on other sites
Moose Posted May 3, 2005 Share Posted May 3, 2005 My husband has been out of a job for the last 6 months6 MONTHS! I've never been unemployed for more than 6 hours. Even if I had to scrub toilets.......he needs to get off his arse....... Link to post Share on other sites
RecordProducer Posted May 7, 2005 Share Posted May 7, 2005 I don't know if this means he doesn't love you. It's more like childish to me. Children may lie to their parents even though they love them. The question is why he hides the money and what he does with it, I would say. Obviously he is not the most honest person in the world. Make it clear that you won't tolerate lies and that it's better for him to tell you the truth always. Don't make him feel bad when he tells you the truth. That's the first lesson he should learn. Is this the only problem you two have? Cuz it sounds like you have more problems if you doubt his love. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts