I like her, but she only likes me as a friend!

[lepagedude]

I'm new and didn't know where to post this, but this is my best bet.

 

I have been friends with this girl for a while, and she's known that I have liked her as more than a friend for most of that time. She has questioned her own feelings towards me, and tells me they don't even exist anymore. When she said this, I was almost instantly heart-broken. My heart feels like a lead block, and I can't concentrate on anything. Many people said I should see a psychologist for my depression, but they are random people who don't know me very well and don't know she even exists. I cannot stand this feeling, but I cannot move on. I've felt like we were meant to be since the day I met her, and still feel this way. From the day I met her, I've felt like I'm attracted to her, but at the same time, I feel like I shouldn't feel this way and I hate her for it. However, the good definantly outweighs the bad. What do you people think I should do? We are still friends, and we're planning to go to the movies soon with friends, so I know she at least doesn't hate me. Please, give me your feedback. By the way, in case your wondering, we're both teenagers of similar age (she's a year younger, almost to the day)

[LucreziaBorgia]

I've felt like we were meant to be since the day I met her, and still feel this way.

 

That's understandable. You are in love with who you wish she could be to you. This blinds you to the person she really is, and therefore cannot bring yourself to turn your back on her while you still have her confused with the idealistic version of her you carry in your heart. You have become hooked on the emotional rush of 'being in love' with her - its like a drug, and as is addicting as one.

 

What is keeping you from seeing a counselor? It may help to talk to an objective, unbiased third party about what you are feeling to help unravel why it is you can't let her go, and hopefully move toward developing some strategies to let that fantasy version of her go.

[Marshbear]

What do you want? Are you happy being Just a friend? If you want to be her friend then continue things as they are. If you want more then I think you will have to sever the friendship so you can find someone who wants to be with you as a friend and a lover. She does not want you. She has made that clear. If it is tearing you up then you have to make that choice. Either you sit there and wish she liked you and think she will change her mind ( she probably won't ) or you find someone new. Don't beat yourself up over it. She just doesn't have the same feelings for you are you have for her. She should be able to understand if you can't be her friend. If she liked you and you didn't feel the same would she want to just be your friend. I doubt it.

 

Make the choice that is right for you....

[AngelTales]

I know how that feels.

 

It's painful hearing things like "see a counsellor". I think the only thing that's going to help is time away from her, for your own sake.. Having emotions over something like this is completely ok. Try to think about the times you weren't awfully unhappy during this period.. there had to have been be a few?

 

 

If she ever liked you at all - I would say don't give up on her. You probably feel like asking her "Why?? Why did you have to make me feel like such ****?" but it only makes things worst. Take it from someone who tore down a relationship by asking questions like that. It just makes everything horrible and unpleasant. So keep your distance if you want to protect your own feelings...try to be the guy that she first met. She could see what she first saw in you if her feelings were ever existant.

 

 

Hope my advice was OK, I'm only 17. From a girl's point of view, I thought I should at least try to help you.

[SuperFantastico]

I was completely in love with a girl for a VERY long time. She thought of me as 'a brother' or 'only friends'. I waited 11 years for this to change. Everytime she broke up with a boyfriend i'd think, wow maybe this is my chance. And she would flirt with me and all that. Truth is man, its either ment to be or it isnt. Dont make the same mistake as me. There are plenty of other women out there who are just as fantastic as this one. Sure you might not be as crazy in love with them as your 'first' , but you will gain 100 fold by them actually reciprocating your feelings.

 

My advice, distance yourself from this girl until you get yourself a girlfriend. The funny thing is, if you get a girlfriend that is possibly the only way she will change her feelings for you. We all want what we cant have. This is when you tell her to go F' herself and go happily to your new girls house for some satiated revenge lov'n.