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Feeling like the ugly duckling in my relationship.


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I know a handsome guy and he admitted to me he has always been attracted to what most would thing is average or unattractive. I can be the same way myself. I like car guys and well...they are not model types by any means.

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If there's one thing you should never care about it is what the rest of the world thinks.

 

I know it ain't easy though.

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angel.eyes

^^^^^^ This!

 

Also, I don't think people are saying things to be intentionally hurtful. They just blurt out comments without thinking about their impact and how it might make the other person feel. I doubt that many of them are deliberately trying to be malicious or cruel even though they may leave you feeling inadequate and insecure. Sometimes, they're probably trying to compliment you in their own misguided way. Other times, they're just thoughtlessly voicing their surprise at what they perceive to be a disconnect in their narrow (and stunted) view of how the world works.

 

The guy I'm now dating is constantly being told that he better "lock me down" before I come to my senses. This happened even on our first date. For those guys who are meeting me for the first time, how on earth do they know that I'm not some soul-sucking she-devil from the eleventh dimension of helI??? Somehow these guys (and it's only men who do this with us) feel they are complimenting him on dating me.

 

Remember, people looking in generally just focus on the surface. They often miss most of the important stuff. My guy is kind, incredibly thoughtful, and trustworthy. Those are hard to find in dating. Sure he's attractive in his own right, but that's very easy for me to get. It's the intangibles that can be challenging.

 

Your guy chooses you every day...not some other woman. Remember that! As you've said, you're no Quasimodo. You're physically attractive in your own right. He sees and values both your inner and outer beauty...every single day. That combination is harder to come by than just a pretty face! That's why he chose you. Chin up! Now go date your man and have fun!

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Does anyone else struggle with the dilemma of having a partner who is significantly more attractive than you?. I do and it sucks my fiancé is an ex model. Alone I look decently attractive I'd give myself an honest 6.5 maybe 7 without make up maybe a little more if I get out the putty knife and glob that **** on. But he on the other hand is a 9 or 9.5 in looks. It just tough. Sometimes rude people will point out how much more attractive he is than me. " like how did you manage to snag this guy" etc. All of his friends tried to convince him he could do better. I know it shouldn't bother me. He tells me I'm beautiful inside and out and he likes that I don't wear much make up. But I can't help feeling inadequate especially when I see a picture of us together and he looks like he just popped out of a magazine and I look like I need some serious tLc. Weight isn't a problem I'm fit and not over weight, just compared to him I'm an ugly duckling.

 

 

 

I admit that I am one of those girls who has expressed surprise when I see a very good looking guy with a very average looking girl. But this is more a reflection on how I think most guys are - looks are usually one of the top priorities of men, and most good looking guys you would expect are spoilt for choice and (imho, just hypothesizing) have their share of character 'problems'. Ive also met drop dead guys who are so boring that I would not even want to share a cab home with them. that being said, its natural to want your partner to feel proud to be seen with you, but its not just about looks, you can focus on style, charisma, a winning personality, etc. When I look at couples, its not the "hottest pair" that I'm envious of, its the pair that appears to have the most rapport and fun that im genuinely inspired by.

 

 

In the end- its easy to tell you not to care what other people think - its more realistic to focus on bringing out your unique qualities and remembering that for most guys, its having fun with their girl that keeps them together.

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I personally couldn't handle dating an 8 or a 9... I myself am a strong 7.

 

I want a man who is enamoured with me and infatuated with me sexually and physically. And I also want a man who is average or a tad under so that he feels thrilled to have me.

 

Their makes will talk otherwise. And it would be hurtful not being the pretty girl in the relationship.

 

You're his FIANCE though so this is a very rare case that, well, it had worked well, the guy is obviously crazy about you so as to ask for u your hand in marriage!

 

You got lucky OP. Most very plain men are so full of themselves these days!

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Does anyone else struggle with the dilemma of having a partner who is significantly more attractive than you?. I do and it sucks my fiancé is an ex model. Alone I look decently attractive I'd give myself an honest 6.5 maybe 7 without make up maybe a little more if I get out the putty knife and glob that **** on. But he on the other hand is a 9 or 9.5 in looks. It just tough. Sometimes rude people will point out how much more attractive he is than me. " like how did you manage to snag this guy" etc. All of his friends tried to convince him he could do better. I know it shouldn't bother me. He tells me I'm beautiful inside and out and he likes that I don't wear much make up. But I can't help feeling inadequate especially when I see a picture of us together and he looks like he just popped out of a magazine and I look like I need some serious tLc. Weight isn't a problem I'm fit and not over weight, just compared to him I'm an ugly duckling.

 

op

 

the way you are thinking gonna ruin your relationship for you

 

This is so sad, because you had a great guy

and day by day you start to lose him

because of other people, your insecurity and stuff

 

he wouldn't be with you if he didn't find you beautiful

 

 

and please don't care if he say he doesn't like make up

put it anyway

it will make you look better and shut up these haters for a while

 

try to look hot wherever you can!

 

Anyway

 

again to our topic

 

it's sad he likes you and you like him

but you let your physical appearance stand in the way.

 

You think he can do better

 

but he already did better

he chose you

and you should always remind yourself of that fact

 

you are better!

 

as for cheating

 

men can cheat regardless of how hot they look, it depends on their degree of commitment and loyalty..

 

Don't let your fear and anxiety stand in the way

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Sometimes it's the less attractive guys you have to watch out for. A gorgeous man knows he can have any woman he wants, so he's not as easily swayed as a man who rarely gets a chance with a good-looking woman and feels he'd better strike while the iron is hot.

 

I know a guy who is drop-dead gorgeous. He chose a woman who is....attractive, but not a head-turner by any means. She doesn't wear makeup and her hair isn't always looking its best, but she is super smart and has a great personality. Definitely mismatched looks-wise but things are going well for them.

 

Looks aren't, and shouldn't be, everything.

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