mysterywoman Posted July 3, 2015 Share Posted July 3, 2015 (edited) I broke contact with my ex yesterday and he responded back. All the strong feelings of wanting him have come back. Remembering how he felt looked and how we made love. Somebody please save me from myself! I keep trying to forget and think some other man could replace him,but they never will live up to what he was to me both physically, intellectually, and emotionally. I know he doesn't want to start it again, he was very matter of fact in his response. No warmth, no humour like he used to have with me. Makes me sad. :-( If he started it up again I don't know what I would do, probably be shocked out of my mind .. And yes I would go back to him if he gave me an inkling of wanting to...miss him incredibly. Edited July 3, 2015 by mysterywoman Link to post Share on other sites
RoseVille Posted July 3, 2015 Share Posted July 3, 2015 Is this the exMM who called you a stalker and begged you to move on? You've got to stop this! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Lurkeraspect Posted July 3, 2015 Share Posted July 3, 2015 It's really sad to see you idolizing this loser. Why don't you focus on your husband and child, get off the cheating websites and stop stalking this man. This Ashley Madison hookup has been over for a year, and here you are, stuck in stalkerville. Have you started IC yet? 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author mysterywoman Posted July 3, 2015 Author Share Posted July 3, 2015 (edited) It's really sad to see you idolizing this loser. Why don't you focus on your husband and child, get off the cheating websites and stop stalking this man. This Ashley Madison hookup has been over for a year, and here you are, stuck in stalkerville. Have you started IC yet? It wasn't a hookup. Edited July 3, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Troll callout ~T Link to post Share on other sites
Author mysterywoman Posted July 3, 2015 Author Share Posted July 3, 2015 Is this the exMM who called you a stalker and begged you to move on? You've got to stop this! I just asked him if he was sending me messages on AM under a different username. He said no. Hardly stalking. Link to post Share on other sites
Jessie1231 Posted July 3, 2015 Share Posted July 3, 2015 I just asked him if he was sending me messages on AM under a different username. He said no. Hardly stalking. Yes but you said he called you a stalker and told you to move on. And yes it was a hook up. It lasted how long and has been over for how many years? I think that's why people are asking these questions. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Lurkeraspect Posted July 3, 2015 Share Posted July 3, 2015 (edited) It wasn't a hookup. Okay, okay...it wasn't a hookup to you. I get you think this was the love affair of the century, sadly though, your husband was tipped off, threatened your lover, and that was that. For the MM, the risk wasn't worth the side sex, it got complicated. I can understand you'd be upset about his quick departure, but it's been a year, and you're stuck. Edited July 3, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator reference to edited post. ~T 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author mysterywoman Posted July 3, 2015 Author Share Posted July 3, 2015 Yes but you said he called you a stalker and told you to move on. And yes it was a hook up. It lasted how long and has been over for how many years? I think that's why people are asking these questions. OMG it was not a hookup. Link to post Share on other sites
AnotherSadSong Posted July 3, 2015 Share Posted July 3, 2015 I think the quicker you learn that men (the majority) do not sit around and reminisce about lost love like we do, the better off you will be. Logic and reality sets in. Men are much more black and white in thinking. I know for a fact that after a huge break up this week after 4 years, the ex who is out of town for the 4th has not thought once, not one crumb about our break up. They are able to fracture their mind and thoughts onto other things. This helps me when my thoughts begin to wander into.... Link to post Share on other sites
sweet_pea Posted July 3, 2015 Share Posted July 3, 2015 It really is time to let go. He isn't responding to you the way you're hoping, he isn't breaking contact to get with you, it is over for y'all. Are you in therapy? Because the obsessive, one sided-ness of this is definitely not healthy for you and is preventing you from moving on, which you claim to want. Maybe you should delete/block any avenues of contact with him. I also think that before you start thinking about other man, you need to handle your marriage (end it if you want to be with other people). 3 Link to post Share on other sites
RightThere Posted July 3, 2015 Share Posted July 3, 2015 I just asked him if he was sending me messages on AM under a different username. He said no. Hardly stalking. That is actually the definition of stalking. Coming up with a really lame excuse just to initiate and continue contact. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted July 3, 2015 Share Posted July 3, 2015 If someone ends something, it's ended. Seems obvious... Link to post Share on other sites
AnotherSadSong Posted July 3, 2015 Share Posted July 3, 2015 That is actually the definition of stalking. Coming up with a really lame excuse just to initiate and continue contact. I think it is a little mean to label someone a stalker when it is clear she is unable to get over something emotionally. Stalking by definition is used too loosely and labels someone in a hurtful and non productive way. I have seen shows on real life stalkers and they write 100s of letters a day and make 100s of calls in day some 1000s of texts. They drive by their residence and work several times a day and will eventually break in or harm them. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Jessie1231 Posted July 3, 2015 Share Posted July 3, 2015 I think it is a little mean to label someone a stalker when it is clear she is unable to get over something emotionally. Stalking by definition is used too loosely and labels someone in a hurtful and non productive way. I have seen shows on real life stalkers and they write 100s of letters a day and make 100s of calls in day some 1000s of texts. They drive by their residence and work several times a day and will eventually break in or harm them. She was texting, emailing, and making up fake profiles on Ashley Madison to try to get this man to respond to her. It may not be physical stalking but it is online stalking. The man said so himself. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
AnotherSadSong Posted July 3, 2015 Share Posted July 3, 2015 She was texting, emailing, and making up fake profiles on Ashley Madison to try to get this man to respond to her. It may not be physical stalking but it is online stalking. The man said so himself. That sounds more like an emotional cuckoo moment if it was done only a few times. If it is incessant and non stop then there is a bigger problem. I hope she comes to face the reality that he does not want anything to do with her under the migating circumstances. I believe name calling isn't going to get her to open up as to why she is doing this, so we can help her see the reality of the situation in a kind manner. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
RoseVille Posted July 3, 2015 Share Posted July 3, 2015 That sounds more like an emotional cuckoo moment if it was done only a few times. The A ended two years ago and this has been ongoing for a while. He's referred to her as a stalker. That alone would be enough to make most women stop and discontinue all contact for forever. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
AnotherSadSong Posted July 3, 2015 Share Posted July 3, 2015 The A ended two years ago and this has been ongoing for a while. He's referred to her as a stalker. That alone would be enough to make most women stop and discontinue all contact for forever. I understand it is obsessive and there is a problem but the labeling is not going to help. I would like to ask her why she cannot stop obsessing over him 2 years after the affair. It has been mentioned in textbook that unrequited love sometimes take as long as 5 years to completely forget. I am thinking it is not him that is having her obsess but something else in her life that she is not handling. Another poster mentioned her marriage and I wonder if it has a lot to do with this. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author mysterywoman Posted July 3, 2015 Author Share Posted July 3, 2015 She was texting, emailing, and making up fake profiles on Ashley Madison to try to get this man to respond to her. It may not be physical stalking but it is online stalking. The man said so himself. OMG no. Not very much at all. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mysterywoman Posted July 3, 2015 Author Share Posted July 3, 2015 The A ended two years ago and this has been ongoing for a while. He's referred to her as a stalker. That alone would be enough to make most women stop and discontinue all contact for forever. You have restarted your affair. Please stop judging me. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted July 3, 2015 Share Posted July 3, 2015 (edited) I broke contact with my ex yesterday and he responded back. All the strong feelings of wanting him have come back. Remembering how he felt looked and how we made love. Somebody please save me from myself! I keep trying to forget and think some other man could replace him,but they never will live up to what he was to me both physically, intellectually, and emotionally. Please, next time you get the urge, post here so someone can talk you out of it. Contacting him = PAIN for you. He's moved on and wants you to leave him alone. If you truly care and love him, you'd respect his desire for you to go on with your life and leave him behind. That's the kindest thing you can do for yourself. Set yourself free of him once and for all. No man can compare right now, of course because you still love him and want him. You're not even close to being over him so don't bother thinking about men and your future of dating. One day when you ARE over him, completely and healed, you'll find love again. Just not now so put it out of your head. I know he doesn't want to start it again, he was very matter of fact in his response. No warmth, no humour like he used to have with me. Makes me sad. :-( Accept this and stop wanting and hoping. Remember WHY the A ended. Go back and re-read your older threads. If he started it up again I don't know what I would do, probably be shocked out of my mind .. And yes I would go back to him if he gave me an inkling of wanting to...miss him incredibly. He isn't coming back so stop thinking along these lines. Somehow you need to push yourself to let go. Really grieve, cry and feel the loss so you can go through the healing process. Hanging onto bits of hope and what if's is damaging and holding you back. I hope tomorrow you feel good and strong. Be positive and focus on the good friends and family you have in your life not your exMM who chose his wife and has no intention of leaving and divorcing. A guy who hurts you and makes you feel awful. Edited July 3, 2015 by whichwayisup 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Popsicle Posted July 3, 2015 Share Posted July 3, 2015 (edited) The fact that he called you a stalker should really engage your pride and cause you to never want to speak to him again. But since you have, I wouldn't make too much of his one word answer "No". It's possible that he just wanted to answer your question so you don't go thinking that he is trying to get your attention because he wants to start something up again. He wanted to dispell that thought from your head so you move on. Even if he were really doing that, and lied about it by saying "no", he still would have said more to you than that. Edited July 3, 2015 by Popsicle 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author mysterywoman Posted July 3, 2015 Author Share Posted July 3, 2015 The fact that he called you a stalker should really engage your pride and cause you to never want to speak to him again. But since you have, I wouldn't make too much of his one word answer "No". It's possible that he just wanted to answer your question so you don't go thinking that he is trying to get your attention because he wants to start something up again. He wanted to dispell that thought from your head so you move on. Even if he were really doing that, and lied about it by saying "no", he still would have said more to you than that. He wrote: ' No definitely not.' and he also put: 'That's the honest truth'. Not sure what to believe. Link to post Share on other sites
Popsicle Posted July 3, 2015 Share Posted July 3, 2015 Now if you don't respond back to him and he comes back saying more anyway, then we have something to talk about.... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author mysterywoman Posted July 3, 2015 Author Share Posted July 3, 2015 Now if you don't respond back to him and he comes back saying more anyway, then we have something to talk about.... I also think it might have been him because I gave him my email and he blocked me on AM after that...fishy... Link to post Share on other sites
sweet_pea Posted July 4, 2015 Share Posted July 4, 2015 He wrote: ' No definitely not.' and he also put: 'That's the honest truth'. Not sure what to believe. You should believe his actions. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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