2 invites in the same afternoon? Who should I choose?

[LifeandPerseverance]

It's the day before everyone's favorite holiday here in the United States. As such, most people have the day off. I have a "friend" (we're not that close, nor do I think we enjoy each other's company that much) who was coming to town for other reasons, and we tentatively planned to grab lunch or go hiking this afternoon.

 

I got called into work this morning unexpectedly (this is my day off), so I let him know, and as a happy medium to appease him, I met up for lunch with him on my lunch break. He's in a weird mood--I really didn't enjoy lunch with him. He kept trying to make plans for later--and I told him I can't guarantee I can get off early. I said I would TRY to be able to go hiking later, but I can't promise anything.

 

When I got back to work, some family friends called--they're coming into town this evening, and wanted to invite me to dinner at their house. I really like these people, and I have a "thing" for one of their sons. The cookout probably won't be til 7:30, but we didn't set a time. If I go, I want ample time to go home and change my clothes, and make food to bring--it's only polite.

 

Now I'm torn. What do I do?

I know if I go hiking with the first friend, it's going to be a multi hour ordeal, and I wont be able to say goodbye to him/leave til 7, and I'll be rushing to the cookout empty handed, with no makeup on, looking terrible.

 

Also--I'm the one who drives the 4x4 vehicle--to go hiking, I know we're going to have to use MY car, put miles on it, etc. Plus he's in a mood, so he's not going to be pleasant to be with in the car on the drive.

 

SO...WHICH INVITE do I choose? And how do I do it tactfully without hurting the other party? I don't want to feel like I flaked out on the first person, but I'm torn.

[d0nnivain]

Is there any way you can go on a shorter hike? That way you can do both, plus change & put on make up. Tonight on your way home from work grab something pre-made cookies or a cake that you can bring to the party In the event you have no time, on your way there at least grab a bag of ice at the gas station because everybody always needs more ice on the 4th.

[whichwayisup]

Make plans with your friends, not this guy whom you really don't like or enjoy his company. You have the right to say no to him. And not feel guilty about it either.

[LifeandPerseverance]

Is there any way you can go on a shorter hike?.

 

This was also my thought. I tried to ask him that. He was not helpful. I asked him (since I'm at work), if he could look into shorter hikes in the area he might like to do (also, a shorter hike that's easy to access=less miles and gas on my car and less driving time to get out there). He basically didn't even offer to look up a shorter hike.

 

I should also add that this is a friend who use to be into me--He was told that would not be happening. And I thought we'd had a real FRIENDSHIP since then, but today at lunch I definitely got the feeling he has more invested in us hanging out today than he should.

Edited July 3, 2015 by LifeandPerseverance

[Gloria25]

Make plans with your friends, not this guy whom you really don't like or enjoy his company. You have the right to say no to him. And not feel guilty about it either.

 

I agree, ditch the "hike" guy or make the hike short...He's not into you, but I think it's crappy to flake on people.

[Popsicle]

Go with the family with the hot son... hello!

 

Tell the grumpy guy that you will be busy.

[acrosstheuniverse]

You agreed lunch or a hike... you went for lunch. Sack off the hike! Life's too short to spend it with friends you don't even like. Just outta curiosity, why do you spend time with this 'friend'? It doesn't sound like you like one another's company at all. Why would you want to arrange activities with him when they're just an ordeal?

 

Normally, even taking that into account, I'd say it's a low move to cancel on one friend just to take up a better offer but you did meet the guy for lunch so you're not cancelling on him and you resisted his attempt to arrange anything for later. Go enjoy the other arrangement, you're doing nothing wrong. And reconsider your friends!

[wizer]

Why the heck would you want to spend time with this guy if you don't enjoy his company?