elaine567 Posted July 11, 2015 Share Posted July 11, 2015 Why do some of you guys find it so outrageous that women need to feel attracted to the men they choose to be with? :confused: I think it is a traditional feeling that is fostered in some circles, that men do the choosing and women need to wait patiently and be glad that some man deigned to choose them. It is therefore a bit of a wake up call for some to realise that when carefully chosen by a man, the woman can indeed reject him. It causes some confusion and hence the often quite bitter posts against women who reject men on the grounds of not feeling attracted to them. Yet, when the shoe is on the other foot and a women who is not considered hot shows her attraction to a man, then it is all "Wtf, no way, I'm not going there." and all the men nod in agreement. Truth is men and women need to be attracted on some level else it all quickly goes pear-shaped 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Brigit_1 Posted July 11, 2015 Share Posted July 11, 2015 I think it is a traditional feeling that is fostered in some circles, that men do the choosing and women need to wait patiently and be glad that some man deigned to choose them. It is therefore a bit of a wake up call for some to realise that when carefully chosen by a man, the woman can indeed reject him. It causes some confusion and hence the often quite bitter posts against women who reject men on the grounds of not feeling attracted to them. Yet, when the shoe is on the other foot and a women who is not considered hot shows her attraction to a man, then it is all "Wtf, no way, I'm not going there." and all the men nod in agreement. Truth is men and women need to be attracted on some level else it all quickly goes pear-shaped If you're not attracted to a man then what's the point? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
GemmaUK Posted July 11, 2015 Share Posted July 11, 2015 Why do some of you guys find it so outrageous that women need to feel attracted to the men they choose to be with? :confused: I saw a post on a thread in dating some time ago where the OP under his old username stated that he believes women should date any man who wishes to date them. Or more specifically it was 'give me a chance even if you don't find me attractive as I am not like other guys' OP isn't like other guys - granted, he has many issues with women and doesn't seem to like them - which is unlike most men. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
scorpiogirl Posted July 11, 2015 Share Posted July 11, 2015 I saw a post on a thread in dating some time ago where the OP under his old username stated that he believes women should date any man who wishes to date them. Or more specifically it was 'give me a chance even if you don't find me attractive as I am not like other guys' OP isn't like other guys - granted, he has many issues with women and doesn't seem to like them - which is unlike most men. Also, the women can't be fat or want kids ... But they have to accept short, balding, socially awkward men. I don't know what's wrong with us! How dare we have requirements?! 3 Link to post Share on other sites
GemmaUK Posted July 11, 2015 Share Posted July 11, 2015 Also, the women can't be fat or want kids ... But they have to accept short, balding, socially awkward men. I don't know what's wrong with us! How dare we have requirements?! ...actually..and your post made me giggle..because... I'm not fat, nor do I want or have kids, plus I quite like short bald guys (I have a crush on one just now but I'm not keen on the socially awkward and judgemental bit.. Link to post Share on other sites
scorpiogirl Posted July 11, 2015 Share Posted July 11, 2015 ...actually..and your post made me giggle..because... I'm not fat, nor do I want or have kids, plus I quite like short bald guys (I have a crush on one just now but I'm not keen on the socially awkward and judgemental bit.. I don't have kids either, almost all my boyfriends have had no hair and many have been my height. I'm out of the running here though because I have too many opinions. Darn it. I also hate when people stalk my online profiles but I am a little overweight so I need to be more free with what I accept. Stop being so demanding, Gemma! Awkward, judgemental men are people too 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author LookAtThisPOst Posted July 11, 2015 Author Share Posted July 11, 2015 Why do some of you guys find it so outrageous that women need to feel attracted to the men they choose to be with? :confused: We're getting off track here. I'm was talking about the creepiness of it. That by such actions by a man which she deems attractive would not be considered creepy. Link to post Share on other sites
angel.eyes Posted July 11, 2015 Share Posted July 11, 2015 (edited) You're totally not getting it, are you?!? My goodness! A guy who stalks me on the internet will NEVER be attractive or someone I would want to date. He could look like a perfect Adonis. He would NEVER...EVER...get a date or even a bland conversation after a stunt like that. He would be blocked on both sites. Now, does that help with your confusion? Her profile disappeared as you were trying to get your second message through. It isn't your appearance. It's your inappropriate behavior that prompts such a rapid response. Edited July 11, 2015 by angel.eyes 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author LookAtThisPOst Posted July 11, 2015 Author Share Posted July 11, 2015 You're totally not getting it, are you?!? My goodness! A guy who stalks me on the internet will NEVER be attractive or someone I would want to date. Well, that's you then...some of what I've done above have gotten me dates *shrug* go figure. It's a case-by-case thing really. Link to post Share on other sites
guest569 Posted July 11, 2015 Share Posted July 11, 2015 No, even if the man was attractive i would be put off. A) i already vanished from meetup, B) he followed me to a dating site c) imagine dating him for a bit and rejecting or breaking up with him, this guy wont take no for an answer. D)There are plenty of attractive guys out there who are NOT creepy stalkers. It just seems a bit possessive, controlling, obsessive etc from a total stranger. Link to post Share on other sites
angel.eyes Posted July 11, 2015 Share Posted July 11, 2015 Well, that's you then...some of what I've done above have gotten me dates *shrug* go figure. It's a case-by-case thing really. Alrighty then. Since you think women appreciate a good cyberstalking every now and then, carry-on while posting about all the weirdos online who make it difficult for you. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
GemmaUK Posted July 12, 2015 Share Posted July 12, 2015 No, even if the man was attractive i would be put off. A) i already vanished from meetup, B) he followed me to a dating site c) imagine dating him for a bit and rejecting or breaking up with him, this guy wont take no for an answer. D)There are plenty of attractive guys out there who are NOT creepy stalkers. It just seems a bit possessive, controlling, obsessive etc from a total stranger. Exactly! I have had a recent situation going on which I think I have finally been able to put a stop to but it's taken weeks! A new guy at work, good looking guy in his early thirties. He seemed OK when he joined and friendly but not over the top in any way. I was off for a few days and he came and followed me on a break, asked what I had been up to etc. I joked with him saying 'Why? Did you miss me? He mentioned he had been out with work on the previous Friday and said it was a heavy night. I said that at my age I've learned to sneak off home from those kind of nights so I don't get dragged to a club. He followed me on breaks a lot of times since, uses my name a lot and has invited me along as one of the other departments are apparently going for a team night at his relative's bar where he works to help out part time. I said I rarely do bars these days and tend to opt more for dinner type nights out with friends. I also said I don't ever go to the town the bar is in. By this time I was getting an awkward feeling about him. I mentioned it to a colleague. She told me 'oh, so it's you who is next on his hit list then!!' She then told me he had strongly hit on three colleagues on the Friday they went out. One is very happily married, the second is with a guy and pregnant and by the time he got to the third everyone including the guys has twigged what he was doing. He upped the game with me, coming to see me often, borrowing things, asking me questions that anyone who he sits near could have answered, still following me on breaks and asking me lots of questions, many of which I just deferred with things to basically put him off. He found out via another colleague that I am single and then the following day he IM'd me first thing in the morning teasing me over something non work related with smiley faces all over it. I sent a quick reply back but really didn't want to have to have IM going back and forth so I closed the conversation right after I replied. I think it's done the trick and he has got the message as he has left me be since but it took a long while for him to get the message. I wouldn't call him creepy but it was certainly getting awkward. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LookAtThisPOst Posted July 12, 2015 Author Share Posted July 12, 2015 It took a long while for him to get the message. I wouldn't call him creepy but it was certainly getting awkward. So between, creepy and awkward...not too bad I suppose, from what I read he didn't seem up your bum either. Though, I think I would have stopped after the bar invite, but I'm surprised he didn't come back with inviting you out to eat when you mentioned that you prefer eating out with friends. "Oh hey...listen, though we're drinking to night in that 'town over there', tomorrow we're eating at Bill's Grill....sound good?" Then he's kind of nailed you knowing that you prefer eating instead of drinking alcohol. Though, the point may be moot as you may have not had any interest in a co-worker. Of course, this whole scenario may be moot since people don't date their co-workers to begin with...but I'm assuming the UK may be more open to that? Link to post Share on other sites
angel.eyes Posted July 12, 2015 Share Posted July 12, 2015 (edited) Awkward is bad! The takeaway from Gemma's post: learn when to quit. It's not try harder. If you're clearly trying and the person has declined your offer (I don't do bars) and is avoiding you (e.g. closed IM immediately), STOP. It shouldn't be: Well let me try for dinner now because that's only awkward for her, not creepy. When you make someone uncomfortable you are not only cementing her decision to not date you, but destroying your chances with others as well. Very few women will jump at the chance to date someone who is inappropriately aggressive in his pursuit AND socially inappropriate, especially when he has a habit of doing this. Edited July 12, 2015 by angel.eyes 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Author LookAtThisPOst Posted July 12, 2015 Author Share Posted July 12, 2015 Awkward is bad! The takeaway from Gemma's post: learn when to quit. It's not try harder. If you're clearly trying and the person has declined your offer (I don't do bars) and is avoiding you (e.g. closed IM immediately), STOP. It shouldn't be: Well let me try for dinner now because that's only awkward for her, not creepy. When you make someone uncomfortable you are not only cementing her decision to not date you, but destroying your chances with others as well. Very few women will jump at the chance to date someone who is inappropriately aggressive in his pursuit AND socially inappropriate, especially when he has a habit of doing this. Yeah, the whole "hitting on a married woman" thing is quite out there and inappropriate. Even I wouldn't do that. lol Link to post Share on other sites
guest569 Posted July 12, 2015 Share Posted July 12, 2015 So between, creepy and awkward...not too bad I suppose, from what I read he didn't seem up your bum either. Though, I think I would have stopped after the bar invite, but I'm surprised he didn't come back with inviting you out to eat when you mentioned that you prefer eating out with friends. "Oh hey...listen, though we're drinking to night in that 'town over there', tomorrow we're eating at Bill's Grill....sound good?" Then he's kind of nailed you knowing that you prefer eating instead of drinking alcohol. Though, the point may be moot as you may have not had any interest in a co-worker. Of course, this whole scenario may be moot since people don't date their co-workers to begin with...but I'm assuming the UK may be more open to that? It's not about pushing their back against the wall. Ugh I'm suffocating just reading this. He made his intentions very clear, there was no need to "nail her" into accepting a date by taking yet another approach. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
GemmaUK Posted July 13, 2015 Share Posted July 13, 2015 So between, creepy and awkward...not too bad I suppose, from what I read he didn't seem up your bum either. You're kidding, right? He was on my case day in day out for weeks! It felt like a puppy snapping at my ankles! You got it Smiley, awkward was very much bad! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author LookAtThisPOst Posted July 13, 2015 Author Share Posted July 13, 2015 You're kidding, right? He was on my case day in day out for weeks! It felt like a puppy snapping at my ankles! Oh okay, if it was that bad, then it was that bad. Link to post Share on other sites
Rejected Rosebud Posted July 14, 2015 Share Posted July 14, 2015 Well, that's you then...some of what I've done above have gotten me dates *shrug* go figure. It's a case-by-case thing really. Really because no offense but I read alot of your threads and dates are NEVER EVER included in them, just alot of stuff about this woman on Match or that woman at a Meet-up and how much you "had to laugh" about whatever. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
guest569 Posted July 14, 2015 Share Posted July 14, 2015 Really because no offense but I read alot of your threads and dates are NEVER EVER included in them, just alot of stuff about this woman on Match or that woman at a Meet-up and how much you "had to laugh" about whatever. And those pesky superior women who he calls out on their disinterest and how ironic it all is. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
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