Bit

[richhurts]

Ok where to start.

 

About 2 years ago I started a new job, it's seasonal so we are off dumyring the winter. This woman in the office caught my eye instantly. But she didn't seem interested at that time. As months went on she would always tease and pick on me tyibut, that seemed to be her nature, she's an outgoing type of person. as time went on we would chat a bit but, nothing out of the ordinary. fall time came and it was time for our layoff. I talked to her at Christmas but, that was about it.

 

Spring is here now and we start work again. that night, out of the blue she texts me asking how am I doing and what not. We ended up chatting for about 4 hours that night. The next day she would wonder how im doing almost every hour and we would do the same thing that night. Its been like this everyday now for the last 5 months. We go out and do things a few times a week and what not.

 

So, about 3 weeks in she tells me randomly tells me, " You're going to fall in love with me".

I told her I already loved her so, I probably will. She then said that I wasn't her type and we were just friends. Fine, whatever.

 

So fast forward to now. We pretty much know each others life history. We like alot of the same things. We have grown into great friends. She acts differently now though. She always stares when I see her. She doesn't pick on me much, if all anymore. She teases me still though.

 

Now I realize I am in love with her. Told her she was falling. She didn't say anthing so I changed the subject. That evening she said I was a great friend. So I decided to start distancing myself, no longer throwing compliments at her, and making myself less available. She started questioning me. Asking if I was alright, could we hang out soon ect...

 

She friendzoned me. Now I know she has insecurity issues and doesn't jump into things quickly however, after being rejected months earlier and feeling this strongly now, I'mafraid to revist the issue. So I'm at a loss here and don't know what to do. Any advice would help

[angel.eyes]

This has unhealthy dynamic written all over it. Find someone else who isn't into mind games and mental jiu jitsu. There will be no happiness at the end of this rainbow.

[richhurts]

I know. The problem is, I don't mind being her friend, we get along great, to great. For the most part I'm content but, the heart does ache and I have needs as far as physical issues go. I can't just treetrunk some random either.maybe in my 20's ya but, now? Nope, my mind set is different plus, I don't find anyone else attractive. I've tried. I lose interest in about 5 mins of talking. Also, I have to work with this woman directly.

[privategal]

Shes giving the classic "Im not into you" lines.

Trying to tell you gently.

If you dont want to lose a friend...stop all the things that are relationship like. Like you said...compliments, being too available. Shes had months to develop feelings...she hasnt.

Now yours might subconsciously grow stronger because your ego wants to win her over.

You cant. And unless shes touching you, kissing you, flirting heavily...you cant read into it.

She likes your company and friendship.

So go ahead and forego dating others but your wasting your time here. She doesn't want that and id give some space as you have been and make a few new female friends.

You dont HAVE to like or date them but why give her all your time...realize others will be fun too...not the same...but will grow into really nice friendships if you allow time.

[preraph]

She sounds like someone outgoing who is proactive in making friends. She could tell right away you were liking her more than that, and she said so. That was a warning. If she had a lick of sense, she'd have backed off you by now, but I guess she figures this is your problem and she probably likes a lot of attention and is mainly thinking of herself and maybe doesn't have all that much empathy for what this might be doing to you. There's nowhere this can go but downhill. My suggestion is you stop focusing on her and date other women so that you can be just casual friends with this workmate. And keep in mind, she is your workmate, so there's also the chance she's just sucking up to people at work who might do her some good sometime.