Author Undertaker Posted May 7, 2005 Author Share Posted May 7, 2005 Originally posted by Merin So IF pressed you would say No you're not Friends with these Women... but in thier mind you are Friends... Does that mean that you still talk to and hang out with them on occassion? I ask this because IF the Women in question still believe the 2 of you are Friends then I would assume you've given them reason to believe this... Are you saying Undertaker that you wouldn't be My Friend based on My Gender? No, I'm not friends with these women. I don't hang out with them anymore because 1. I never wanted to be 'just friends' with them in the first place. And 2. I have a girlfriend now, so I'd be a hypocrite if I did. To answer your other question: Yes, I would be your friend...but based on your hotness, I'd be secretly hoping something more would happen. Link to post Share on other sites
Merin Posted May 7, 2005 Share Posted May 7, 2005 Originally posted by Undertaker No, I'm not friends with these women. I don't hang out with them anymore because 1. I never wanted to be 'just friends' with them in the first place. And 2. I have a girlfriend now, so I'd be a hypocrite if I did. To answer your other question: Yes, I would be your friend...but based on your hotness, I'd be secretly hoping something more would happen. So You would be My Friend? If I lived near you and I wanted to hang out and be your Friend... although you have a GF and even if you were hoping something more would happen between us.. you would still be willing to hang out with me on occassion as just friends? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Undertaker Posted May 8, 2005 Author Share Posted May 8, 2005 Originally posted by Merin So You would be My Friend? If I lived near you and I wanted to hang out and be your Friend... although you have a GF and even if you were hoping something more would happen between us.. you would still be willing to hang out with me on occassion as just friends? Oh, you mean, in my current situation? Then the answer is "no". Again, that would make me a hypocrite if did that while I was dating someone. Merin, you can try all you want, but nothing is going to convince me (or a lot of other people it seems)that guys & gals can be just friends. Link to post Share on other sites
Merin Posted May 9, 2005 Share Posted May 9, 2005 Originally posted by Undertaker Oh, you mean, in my current situation? Then the answer is "no". Again, that would make me a hypocrite if did that while I was dating someone. Merin, you can try all you want, but nothing is going to convince me (or a lot of other people it seems)that guys & gals can be just friends. Hmm.. thats too bad, I'm an awesome person Link to post Share on other sites
Jennifer's Secret Posted May 9, 2005 Share Posted May 9, 2005 I think that as long as there is some hardcore barrier to any potential "involvement" (ahem!), such as the person is married to your friend or something like that, men and women can be friends. Other than that, just because one may somewhat want more from the other person than the other person is interested in still doesn't mean that they can't be true friends. Link to post Share on other sites
Merin Posted May 9, 2005 Share Posted May 9, 2005 Originally posted by Jennifer's Secret I think that as long as there is some hardcore barrier to any potential "involvement" (ahem!), such as the person is married to your friend or something like that, men and women can be friends. Other than that, just because one may somewhat want more from the other person than the other person is interested in still doesn't mean that they can't be true friends. Sadly IF a person wants to cheat they will regardless of marital status or circumstance.. but thankfully not everyone is down for cheating even if the other party involved would be all about it. Link to post Share on other sites
Marshbear Posted May 9, 2005 Share Posted May 9, 2005 My thoughts on the male/female platonic relationships. I think it is possible to have platonic friendships if both parties agree to no sex. Many will say that they are up front with their friends and as long as you tell them, it is their fault if the friendship ends. If a women told the guy that their will be no sex and will you still just be my friend, they wouldn't have any male friends. They won't say that because they know the guys will leave them and they like these guys paying attention to them so they will flirt just enough to keep him around and give him hope. Also, you might go into a friendship with the best of intentions and as you learn about each other your interests can change from platonic to romantic. If this happens do you blame one or the other for the end of the friendship? This happens to many people and ends many friendships. I think the only way you can be platonic is if the two of you have absolutely no attraction for each other. It is possible to be acquaintances but not true friends because the sex will always get in the way. I might add, I am referring to single people of the opposite sex. It is possible for married, b/f, g/f to have acquaintance relationships. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Undertaker Posted May 9, 2005 Author Share Posted May 9, 2005 Marshbear: I agree with everything you said Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted May 9, 2005 Share Posted May 9, 2005 Originally posted by Marshbear I think it is possible to have platonic friendships if both parties agree to no sex. I would add, MARSHBEAR, that both parties have never had sex and also have no intent to have sex in the future. If a women told the guy that their will be no sex and will you still just be my friend, they wouldn't have any male friends. They won't say that because they know the guys will leave them and they like these guys paying attention to them so they will flirt just enough to keep him around and give him hope. excellent observation and I would agree. younger men's lives revolve around sex and the possibliity of getting sex. many of us try to excel at our jobs/careers so that we have more money and possibliity of more sex I think the only way you can be platonic is if the two of you have absolutely no attraction for each other. It is possible to be acquaintances but not true friends because the sex will always get in the way. I agree that for two single people of opposite sex to have a "true" friendship there cannot be anything sexual between them. But this rarely happens in real life and that is why I recommend only being friends with a woman after she has become your lover. Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted May 9, 2005 Share Posted May 9, 2005 Originally posted by Marshbear If a women told the guy that their will be no sex and will you still just be my friend, they wouldn't have any male friends. They won't say that because they know the guys will leave them and they like these guys paying attention to them so they will flirt just enough to keep him around and give him hope. Disagree. I do this with my male friends. I've had discussions about how we are physically attracted to each other but sex f*cks everything up so I would rather have a friend for the rest of my life than f*ck for a few months/a year or two and then never speak again. But whatever. You guys go on not having female friends and thinking that human beings are unable to restrain their sexual impulses. I'll go on attempting to use my higher brain function to prevent random and unnecessary sexual encounters with people who I would rather be friends with. The problem I have is that I am bi, I like women and men, I've dated both, and so the potential for physical attraction, for me, happens with both people. According to your theories I cannot have any friends whatsoever, and as someone else on this thread mentioned, I am not prepared to become a hermit. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Undertaker Posted May 10, 2005 Author Share Posted May 10, 2005 Blindotter: You're missing the point. If someone in a friendship wants more...even if he/she agrees with the other that there won't/may not be more...it's not really a friendship. They are just pretending in hopes that the "more" will someday develop. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted May 10, 2005 Share Posted May 10, 2005 Originally posted by Undertaker You're missing the point. If someone in a friendship wants more...even if he/she agrees with the other that there won't/may not be more...it's not really a friendship. They are just pretending in hopes that the "more" will someday develop. agreed UNDERTAKR. Link to post Share on other sites
BrotherAaron Posted May 10, 2005 Share Posted May 10, 2005 I think that it's an over-generalization to say that men and women can never be friends. It's very rare, however, to see a relationship of good friends between two people of the opposite sex who spend a lot of time together but have no romantic feelings whatsoever. When it does happen, however, I see it as being no different than two friends of the same sex. I think that the problem is that most people fall for someone of the opposite sex if they realize that they connect well enough with that person to be spending so much of their time together. This is even more true if there is a physical attraction as well. Link to post Share on other sites
Devildog Posted May 10, 2005 Share Posted May 10, 2005 IMO, as I have said before, I have never heard a guy, upon meeting a woman for the first time, say "Gee, I wonder what her views on politics are?". they pretty much have to have been friends since they played in the sandbox together at Kindergarten to have that kind of platonic relationship. Now, can a man and a woman get to know enough about each other to get past the initial physical attraction and get to know each other and respect each other enough not to cross the boundaries? Yeah, probably. But the moment the opportunity pops up that they are available, they will make their move. So if your significant other has a large number of opposite sex friends, do you walk on egg shells fearing that the slightest little disagreement will send them running to the ready made new SO? Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted May 10, 2005 Share Posted May 10, 2005 Originally posted by Devildog So if your significant other has a large number of opposite sex friends, do you walk on egg shells fearing that the slightest little disagreement will send them running to the ready made new SO? Nah. Probably because I have male friends out the yin yang. Maybe I'm fugly, but I've had opportunities on multiple occassions to hook up with friends on mine, when we were both single no less. But it never happened. In any case I suppose I just have to accept the fact that either I am an unattractive woman or I have no friends. Thanks guys. I hate beyotches. I mean seriously I cannot stand gaggles of women. Those flocks of chicks doing feminine things, watching chick flicks (barf), talking about re-laaaaaa-tionships all the time, or their horrible taste in clothing, or being back-stabbing bitches. I hate Sex in the City. I have always hung out with groups of guys, often I am the only chick in the bunch. And all these dudes want to boink me? I doubt it. My best and only close female friend is a slim blond with big blue eyes and huge tits. I am a petite curvy olive skinned brunette and we attract completely different men when we go out together. I am not universally attracted to all hot guys. I assume guys are not universally attracted to all hot chicks. I just am shocked at how, apparently, people lack the higher brain functions to be aware that there is sexual attraction or chemistry but to deny themselves that pleasure because they value what they have. I've been cheated on several times before. I know how it feels and I am intimately familiar with betrayal. And yet apparently I lack the ability to resist doing something I now truely consider morally corrupt because hey, my pussy thinks more than my head does. Link to post Share on other sites
Treasa Posted May 10, 2005 Share Posted May 10, 2005 Originally posted by Jennifer's Secret I think that as long as there is some hardcore barrier to any potential "involvement" (ahem!), such as the person is married to your friend or something like that, men and women can be friends. I agree. In fact, my best friend (a female) is married to one of my male friends. He and I have NO feelings for each other whatsoever. In fact, if I ever had to date him, I'd probably throttle him, because he's completely not my type. Link to post Share on other sites
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