Author NewLeaf512 Posted July 20, 2015 Author Share Posted July 20, 2015 Hitachi. Magic. Wand. (My W LOVES hers. Never have I seen such adoration for a shoulder massager - huh, go figure ) That made me smile, thank you. I've never considered that and to be frank it's the last thing on my mind but maybe sometime soon 2 Link to post Share on other sites
jen1447 Posted July 20, 2015 Share Posted July 20, 2015 That made me smile, thank you. I've never considered that and to be frank it's the last thing on my mind but maybe sometime soon Are you experienced w/vibrators? The hitachi wand is a major league/high impact device, so you may want to start smaller if you're new-ish. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Dela Posted July 20, 2015 Share Posted July 20, 2015 haha, vibrators. u girls made me smile (thanks) it just hit me that i will have no sex for a while, since i ended the A. and i have no hitcahi either. now i m sad again )) 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author NewLeaf512 Posted July 20, 2015 Author Share Posted July 20, 2015 I'm right there with you. I feel like I've been a punching bag. Honesty is wildly overrated... Shaking off the lows is mental. You've been through a lot. Just tell yourself this is the last worthless day you're going to have. That's what I did. Being an emotional punching bag when someone else is hitting is awful, if you hit yourself it's worse. My default posture in these times is usually to isolate myself and go underground. The saving grace here is I have a pet that needs walking even though it's a short walk because it's ickle 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author NewLeaf512 Posted July 20, 2015 Author Share Posted July 20, 2015 haha, vibrators. u girls made me smile (thanks) it just hit me that i will have no sex for a while, since i ended the A. and i have no hitcahi either. now i m sad again )) I've not had sex in circa 2 years)bit more. You'll be ok don't be sad 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author NewLeaf512 Posted July 20, 2015 Author Share Posted July 20, 2015 hei, maybe u are tired (amongst other things). try to get some rest and get out of the house as much as possible. what i do when i feel down is go and stay in the shower with all the water "raining" over me. i helps. i met a good friend of mine today and she let me complain for hours about everything. she s a good listener. i feel a little better take care I don't feel like seeing anyone and I did take a shower today. Maybe varnish my nails 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author NewLeaf512 Posted July 20, 2015 Author Share Posted July 20, 2015 Drink enough water. Start with one litre over about 2 hours. Then stick to 2 litres a day, indefinitely. Avoid coffee and caffeinated drinks like coke and Red Bull, etc. If you're dehydrated, the first organ to suffer is the brain, so don't let that happen. If you've not been eating, you need to get some calories into yourself. Again, the brain suffers, as it uses a large part of the calories we ingest. If you can't face a meal, eat some calorie and protein rich sports bars. If you've not been eating and drinking enough, you should start to feel much better after doing the above. After that comes rest. If you can't sleep just lie down. When you're properly rested you can do some easy exercise. Those are the basics. Take care. Water always does make me feel better. I seldom drink coffee. On the walk I will do in a few minutes I will get some bars. Thank you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ladydesigner Posted July 20, 2015 Share Posted July 20, 2015 (((Newleaf512))) keeping busy and distracted with activities and friends usually gets me through my humps. But yes that dreaded word TIME is really the only thing that helps. It took me about a year to get over a measly 6 week A when I was the MOW. I thought it was going to take forever. I was so focused on being rejected. I no longer think of my xAP. It has been 7 years and he is not even a blip on my radar. One day I hope this is true for you too. Hang in there! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author NewLeaf512 Posted July 20, 2015 Author Share Posted July 20, 2015 Are you experienced w/vibrators? The hitachi wand is a major league/high impact device, so you may want to start smaller if you're new-ish. No I've never used one. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author NewLeaf512 Posted July 20, 2015 Author Share Posted July 20, 2015 Sadly, I'm guessing time will take care of it. It has worked for me in the past. I'm in the thick of things now tho. Everything gets better with time, and I'm looking forward to it. That doesn't help in the short term though, thanks for posting 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author NewLeaf512 Posted July 20, 2015 Author Share Posted July 20, 2015 (((Newleaf512))) keeping busy and distracted with activities and friends usually gets me through my humps. But yes that dreaded word TIME is really the only thing that helps. It took me about a year to get over a measly 6 week A when I was the MOW. I thought it was going to take forever. I was so focused on being rejected. I no longer think of my xAP. It has been 7 years and he is not even a blip on my radar. One day I hope this is true for you too. Hang in there! Thank you, I am not thinking of ExMM (hardly at all) just standing in the wreckage of my life. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
jen1447 Posted July 20, 2015 Share Posted July 20, 2015 No I've never used one. Go browse over at Lelo. They have great toys - very elegant and womanly and dignified, yet effective. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
GoldieLox Posted July 20, 2015 Share Posted July 20, 2015 I'm a little worse for the wear over the past few days as well. I was very sick with a viral infection, and a round of steroids is the only way to help the nasty cough go away. They are making me f&%king crazy. The mood swings are unbearable. I'm just trying to stay busy and take a few deep breaths. It's very sunny out, so I'm trying to get some sunshine too. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author NewLeaf512 Posted July 20, 2015 Author Share Posted July 20, 2015 Go browse over at Lelo. They have great toys - very elegant and womanly and dignified, yet effective. thank you but I have no libido at all at the moment. After my husband died I had circa 7 years celibate, then came exMM for about 7 months so celibate for around a decade in the prime of my life. I thought of something else I can do. I have some nice stationary, I can write someone a letter. It's nice to get post. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
jen1447 Posted July 20, 2015 Share Posted July 20, 2015 thank you but I have no libido at all at the moment. After my husband died I had circa 7 years celibate, then came exMM for about 7 months so celibate for around a decade in the prime of my life. I thought of something else I can do. I have some nice stationary, I can write someone a letter. It's nice to get post. Good idea on the writing. Wanna get your sexy back in the game? It's an important component of healthy living. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author NewLeaf512 Posted July 20, 2015 Author Share Posted July 20, 2015 Good idea on the writing. Wanna get your sexy back in the game? It's an important component of healthy living. I'm not sure this is the right time for that. Maybe some day in the future. I read your thread linked in your signature. Are you a sex and intimacy therapist? Or just interested? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
jen1447 Posted July 20, 2015 Share Posted July 20, 2015 I'm not sure this is the right time for that. Maybe some day in the future. I read your thread linked in your signature. Are you a sex and intimacy therapist? Or just interested? Nah, I'm just an enthusiast with a lot of experience. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author NewLeaf512 Posted July 20, 2015 Author Share Posted July 20, 2015 At the times I had a partner I was an enthusiast, just not much experience. so, I have had a walk w/ hound. picked up some protein bars, and had a cup of tea in my garden earlier. That's about all I could manage. Not tired so more looking for work I think. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Hope Shimmers Posted July 20, 2015 Share Posted July 20, 2015 Have you lost weight? I have problems eating. Like today, I haven't eaten anything yet and even though the day is almost over I'm not hungry and I'm not going to force feed myself. I need to gain back the 20 pounds (maybe more; I don't want to check) that I lost the past several weeks from stress. Maybe I'll get protein bars too. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted July 20, 2015 Share Posted July 20, 2015 so, I have had a walk w/ hound. picked up some protein bars, and had a cup of tea in my garden earlier. That's about all I could manage. Not tired so more looking for work I think. You've put some time into looking after yourself, and that's wholly positive. You can gradually include more self-caring/health-seeking behaviours, and everything you do will lead to a true healing. In the short term it's difficult, but in the long term it's not so hard. Take care. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted July 20, 2015 Share Posted July 20, 2015 Have you lost weight? I have problems eating. Like today, I haven't eaten anything yet and even though the day is almost over I'm not hungry and I'm not going to force feed myself. I need to gain back the 20 pounds (maybe more; I don't want to check) that I lost the past several weeks from stress. Maybe I'll get protein bars too. Get the protein bars and drink enough water and you'll feel much better. The protein bars are not a good long term solution, but in the short term they are excellent. Take care. Link to post Share on other sites
Author NewLeaf512 Posted July 20, 2015 Author Share Posted July 20, 2015 Have you lost weight? I have problems eating. Like today, I haven't eaten anything yet and even though the day is almost over I'm not hungry and I'm not going to force feed myself. I need to gain back the 20 pounds (maybe more; I don't want to check) that I lost the past several weeks from stress. Maybe I'll get protein bars too. Im not eating either 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author NewLeaf512 Posted July 20, 2015 Author Share Posted July 20, 2015 You've put some time into looking after yourself, and that's wholly positive. You can gradually include more self-caring/health-seeking behaviours, and everything you do will lead to a true healing. In the short term it's difficult, but in the long term it's not so hard. Take care. thanks Satu, Im going to make a list of basic things to do every day, like drink water 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Popsicle Posted July 21, 2015 Share Posted July 21, 2015 (((Hugs))) to all the OW/OM who are suffering today. 7 Link to post Share on other sites
Gloria_Smellons Posted July 21, 2015 Share Posted July 21, 2015 Thank you, I am not thinking of ExMM (hardly at all) just standing in the wreckage of my life. You've already had some great advice here, but I just wanted to add that possibly you could consider trying to change your mindset. You could look at it as standing in the wreckage, or you could look at it as a blank canvas on which you can rebuild any life you want. I'd like to quote the Simpsons if I may. Lisa: 'Did you know the Chinese use the same word for crisis as they do for opportunity?' Homer: 'Yes. Crisertunity'. A silly thing, but reminds me that even when things are at their worst for me, I still have a lot of opportunities that other people would be lucky to have. Feel better x 4 Link to post Share on other sites
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