: Super Sexual Girl Says She Wants to Go Slow?

[fitnessfan365]

I agree w-Gary on this one. Take any "no first date kiss" woman and pair her w-her ideal guy who she's massively attracted to. Do you honestly believe she wouldn't make an exception? No sane woman is going to reject a guy she really wants to see again because she knows she'll lose him.

 

The usual circumstances of a no kiss first date IMO :

 

1) The guy doesn't have the balls to go for it.

 

2) The guy goes for it and gets cheeked because she isn't attracted enough. I mean she may honestly kiss reject 9/10 guys. But have her out with that 1% guy, and she'll be saying "I don't usually do this" after the kiss ends.

[Redhead14]

I'm trying to wrap my head around what to do with this one.

 

I met up with a woman today for our first date. We bounced around and visited a few spots. I tried to kiss her after an hour, but she pulled away and accused me of moving too fast. By the end of the date, I was stroking her hair and she had asked to hold my hand while we walked outside. I took it as a sign and tried to kiss her one last time, but again, she said I was moving too fast.

 

I can completely respect when someone wants to take things slow, but what confuses me is how insanely sexual her questions are in her online dating profile. She herself seems to move very fast and be more sexually driven than anything. Part of me thinks maybe she was like that and is now trying to go in the opposite direction since she wants something long-term, but I don't know for sure.

 

Anyway, I'm just trying to figure out how to progress from here. I'm almost worried if I try to kiss her on the second date now she's going to get pissed or something. She seemed to really take offense today, yet she kept wanting to spend time with me and go different places. So strange.

 

People can be who ever they want to be online. I'd say she thought she'd get more activity by doing that and attracting a bigger pool because guys like sex

[katiegrl]

I agree w-Gary on this one. Take any "no first date kiss" woman and pair her w-her ideal guy who she's massively attracted to. Do you honestly believe she wouldn't make an exception? No sane woman is going to reject a guy she really wants to see again because she knows she'll lose him.

 

 

You know what? I agree with you. IF a woman was massively attracted to a guy on a first date, she will kiss him.

 

However, what you are not accounting for is that sometimes a woman IS NOT "massively" attracted to a guy ON A FIRST DATE.

 

For ME personally? I always know right away, and if I were attracted I would kiss him. I stated that earlier.

 

However, NOT every woman will develop a massive attraction to a guy ON A FIRST DATE. Especially OLD. First dates can be awkward and nerve-wracking, and people are often times nervous and uncomfortable.

 

Sometimes, it takes a woman (or man) going home, thinking about the date...and then going out on a SECOND DATE before she starts feeling super attracted to him.

 

It's the same premise as you multi-dating several women before determining how you feel about one woman, enough to date only her.

 

In Tuna's case, I agree...the woman was probably NOT "ga ga" about him on the first date. Did she like him? Yes. Did she enjoy his company? Yes. Otherwise she would NOT have wanted to prolong the date.

 

But is she "massively" attracted to him yet? Probably not...which is why she chose not to kiss him. Was not feeling it all the way with him yet.

 

Since Tuna likes her....he should ask her out on a SECOND date. If she STILL does not want to kiss him on the second date, then fine, next her.

 

But at the very least it's worth a second date....to gauge the chemistry that her nerves or discomfort "may" have caused her NOT to feel on the first date.

Edited July 6, 2015 by katiegrl

[katiegrl]

And in addition to my above post...let's turn the tables.

 

Let's say a woman had a nice first date with a guy, but HE did not try to kiss her?

 

Should she be thinking... if he was massively attracted to me, he would have kissed me? So Next!

 

No, LS would not advise her to do that. They would advise her to continue dating him... as perhaps he was nervous or whatevs.

 

He really liked her, but is NOT "massively" attracted to her just yet. It was a first MEET for cryin out loud, which again can be awkward and uncomfortable for many people!

 

Like I said, for ME...I always know on the first meet/date whether or not I am attracted.

 

But again, NOT everyone does.

 

Hell, if we nexted every man who did not kiss us on the first meet/date, or woman who did not feel comfortable kissing on the first meet/date...no one would get anywhere!

Edited July 6, 2015 by katiegrl

[JJCaliGirl]

I agree with Katie. The lack of a first date kiss doesn't always mean a lack of chemistry or interest.

 

I would kiss a guy (and have done this and even more) on a first date, but I was super attracted to both. Was this my initial thought with both guys? Not at all! In fact, I thought my ex was kind of ugly when I saw his picture online and planned on no kiss early on. That obviously changed throughout the night, and I appreciated the fact that he went in for the kiss. Come to find out, he's a first date kisser with all girls (eye roll).

 

I think for anyone to immediately dismiss a person because you got cheeked especially after she's initiating some contact throughout the night and showing interest isn't always the best. Who knows what she was thinking throughout the day or even if she recently had something negative happen to her. At least Tuna has the balls to make a second attempt before moving onto the next girl. And if she is still reserved as Katie stated, then move on, but at least give it a second chance if you like the girl.

[katiegrl]

I agree with Katie. The lack of a first date kiss doesn't always mean a lack of chemistry or interest.

 

I would kiss a guy (and have done this and even more) on a first date, but I was super attracted to both. Was this my initial thought with both guys? Not at all! In fact, I thought my ex was kind of ugly when I saw his picture online and planned on no kiss early on. That obviously changed throughout the night, and I appreciated the fact that he went in for the kiss. Come to find out, he's a first date kisser with all girls (eye roll).

 

I think for anyone to immediately dismiss a person because you got cheeked especially after she's initiating some contact throughout the night and showing interest isn't always the best. Who knows what she was thinking throughout the day or even if she recently had something negative happen to her. At least Tuna has the balls to make a second attempt before moving onto the next girl. And if she is still reserved as Katie stated, then move on, but at least give it a second chance if you like the girl.

 

 

JJ, were you the gal who posted recently about having a first meet/date with a guy from on-line and you liked him, but DID NOT feeling comfortable kissing him on the first meet/date?

 

 

But were more than happy to accept a second date with him?

 

 

Could not remember if it was you or someone else.

 

 

I have learned through speaking with friends that first meets are so nerve-wracking sometimes, no one knows how the hell they're feeling.

 

 

So they go home, calm down, think about the date, and realize they "hey, I really like this guy! I hope he calls me again!"

 

 

And so they go out again, and end up making out like it's nobody's business!

 

 

TRUE.

[JJCaliGirl]

JJ, were you the gal who posted recently about having a first meet/date with a guy from on-line and you liked him, but DID NOT feeling comfortable kissing him on the first meet/date?

 

 

But were more than happy to accept a second date with him?

 

 

Could not remember if it was you or someone else.

 

 

I have learned through speaking with friends that first meets are so nerve-wracking sometimes, no one knows how the hell they're feeling.

 

 

So they go home, calm down, think about the date, and realize they "hey, I really like this guy! I hope he calls me again!"

 

 

And so they go out again, and end up making out like it's nobody's business!

 

 

TRUE.

 

Yes, I posted that yesterday I believe. I'm not entirely into the guy but he made me laugh which was great. Had he gone in for the kiss, I would've turned him down. If he does ask me out for a second date, I'll go on it to see if there was something I was missing. Will I kiss him on that date? Not sure, but I'll figure it out then.

 

I did have one date in which I determined I did not like the guy as much as I thought. He was probably the most handsome man I've gone on a date with. He kissed me at the end of the date, and I was prepping for no kiss. It was awkward for me because there was NOTHING there for me. I learned from that experience.

Edited July 6, 2015 by JJCaliGirl

[katiegrl]

Not to harp on this, but you know what else really irks me?

 

Some of you guys expecting a chick to be "massively" attracted to you on the first meet/date (which is determined by her kissing you no doubt), and if she's not massively attracted, you next her and won't ask her out again.

 

While at the same time, YOU reserve the right to multi-date until such time YOU figure out if YOU are massively attracted to HER enough to date only her!

 

Doesn't seem quite fair to me...but whatevs...

Edited July 6, 2015 by katiegrl

[fitnessfan365]

You know what? I agree with you. IF a woman was massively attracted to a guy on a first date, she will kiss him.

 

However, what you are not accounting for is that sometimes a woman IS NOT "massively" attracted to a guy ON A FIRST DATE.

 

In Tuna's case, I agree...the woman was probably NOT "ga ga" about him on the first date. Did she like him? Yes. Did she enjoy his company? Yes. Otherwise she would NOT have wanted to prolong the date.

 

But is she "massively" attracted to him yet? Probably not...which is why she chose not to kiss him.

 

My question though is why would you want to settle for someone that you're not massively attracted to. I only date women I like enough to want to kiss on the first date. Just like you know on a first date when you're attracted to a guy Katie.

 

I mean male/female friends like each other's company, want to extend the night, and may even hold hands. But that doesn't mean they're hot for each other. When it comes to dating, the goal should be romance IMO. Not settling for lukewarm initial interest and having to convince them on future dates.

[JJCaliGirl]

Not to harp on this, but you know what else really irks me?

 

Some of you guys expecting a chick to be "massively" attracted to you on the first meet/date (which is determined by her kissing you no doubt), and if she's not massively attracted, you next her and won't ask her out again.

 

While at the same time, YOU reserve the right to multi-date until such time YOU figure out if YOU are massively attracted to HER enough to date only her!

 

Doesn't seem quite fair to me...but whatevs...

 

My ex actually told me he would've been upset had I been seeing other people during our second attempt even though he was seeing multiple girls. To each his own, right?!

 

Btw...I know us girls reserve the right to do the exact same thing as you boys.

[Gary S]

And in addition to my above post...let's turn the tables.

 

Let's say a woman had a nice first date with a guy, but HE did not try to kiss her?

 

Should she be thinking... if he was massively attracted to me, he would have kissed me? So Next!

 

 

- but you are forgetting something.... usually the man is the pursuer.... she can easily tell if he likes her or not when he calls for a second date. The man, on the other hand, has no clue until he sticks his neck out.... unless he gives her the kiss test on date one.

[katiegrl]

My question though is why would you want to settle for someone that you're not massively attracted to. I only date women I like enough to want to kiss on the first date. Just like you know on a first date when you're attracted to a guy Katie.

 

I mean male/female friends like each other's company, want to extend the night, and may even hold hands. But that doesn't mean they're hot for each other. When it comes to dating, the goal should be romance IMO. Not settling for lukewarm initial interest and having to convince them on future dates.

 

 

Bolded. Fair enough...but again NOT everyone knows whether or not they are massively attracted during a first meet, for all the reasons I stated in my subsequent posts.

[katiegrl]

- but you are forgetting something.... usually the man is the pursuer.... she can easily tell if he likes her or not when he calls for a second date. The man, on the other hand, has no clue until he sticks his neck out.... unless he gives her the kiss test on date one.

 

Not true Gary, yes he does. By asking her out for a second date, and if she agrees, then obviously SHE likes him too!

 

 

Why is this concept so difficult for you guys to understand? Do you not realize how awkward first meets can be for many people?

 

 

You are judging people on what YOU would do, how YOU would react.

 

 

This has been stated a million times, NOT everyone is like YOU. We are all different. We all have different reactions and responses.

 

 

Some women will feel completely comfortable with a guy during a first meet, and as such will kiss him, sometimes more!

 

 

That SAME woman might be out with a different guy, be feeling a different vibe (not disinterest, just not as comfortable) and maybe NOT KNOW quite how she's feeling yet, so she holds off kissing him.

 

 

This is not rocket science....it's human nature.

[Gary S]

If the OP were at Vegas and kept loosing like he's doing.... going back for more rejection after a woman turned him down twice for a kiss..... he'd be homeless by now.

 

At some point, you have to appreciate the odds are poor and call it quits. If one woman will kiss and one will not, which one has better odds of becoming his lover? Reality is what it is, despite our wants and wishes. If you try to fight reality, chance are you'll get burned.

[empresario]

Late to the party.

 

 

A good friend of mine is a 21 year old girl that talks about sex incessantly, has a pierced belly button and nose, and flirts with any guy she sees.

 

 

Guess what? She's a virgin.

 

 

Some girls do it for attention. My friend does it because that's just her personality.

 

 

Being open about your sexuality does not mean you are a "who-err".

[katiegrl]

If the OP were at Vegas and kept loosing like he's doing.... going back for more rejection after a woman turned him down twice for a kiss..... he'd be homeless by now.

 

At some point, you have to appreciate the odds are poor and call it quits. If one woman will kiss and one will not, which one has better odds of becoming his lover? Reality is what it is, despite our wants and wishes. If you try to fight reality, chance are you'll get burned.

 

 

I love ya Gary...and no offense, but your ego must be awfully fragile for you to get so torn up over a woman not wanting to kiss you (or as fitnessfan stated - not being massively attracted to you) on first meet/date...that you deem that to be such a huge rejection that you refuse to ever even ask her out again.

 

 

Wow, just wow.

[fitnessfan365]

Not to harp on this, but you know what else really irks me?

 

Some of you guys expecting a chick to be "massively" attracted to you on the first meet/date (which is determined by her kissing you no doubt), and if she's not massively attracted, you next her and won't ask her out again.

 

While at the same time, YOU reserve the right to multi-date until such time YOU figure out if YOU are massively attracted to HER enough to date only her!

 

Doesn't seem quite fair to me...but whatevs...

 

That's the thing though. For me personally, I only date women I liked enough to kiss on a first date. As I said I don't waste time with luke warm. But it's very easy to mistake initial attraction and lust for a genuine connection.

 

So I'll plan a variety of public dates with 3-4 different women I started out being massively attracted to, and then slowly narrow it down to one over time. Usually after 3-5 dates, it's easy to see if it was just initial attraction that drew me in. So by the time I get to 6-8 dates with a woman, she's usually the one I become exclusive with.

 

I will admit though, I've only been focusing on this one woman I'm currently involved with. We click so well on all levels, I haven't felt the need to explore.

[katiegrl]

If the OP were at Vegas and kept loosing like he's doing.... going back for more rejection after a woman turned him down twice for a kiss..... he'd be homeless by now.

 

At some point, you have to appreciate the odds are poor and call it quits. If one woman will kiss and one will not, which one has better odds of becoming his lover? Reality is what it is, despite our wants and wishes. If you try to fight reality, chance are you'll get burned.

 

Gary, just wondering, have you not been reading my posts wherein I stated that sometimes it takes a woman going out on a SECOND DATE to feel a strong attraction?

 

 

I hate repeating myself, so I won't repeat what her reasons are for not feeling it during a first meet/date...but if you missed those posts, please read them...

 

 

Basic human nature 101.

[katiegrl]

If the OP were at Vegas and kept loosing like he's doing.... going back for more rejection after a woman turned him down twice for a kiss..... he'd be homeless by now.

 

At some point, you have to appreciate the odds are poor and call it quits. If one woman will kiss and one will not, which one has better odds of becoming his lover? Reality is what it is, despite our wants and wishes. If you try to fight reality, chance are you'll get burned.

 

Gary I also don't agree with your definition of rejection. Rejection would be him asking her out AGAIN, and her turning him down. And then him going back for MORE, and asking her out a third time. THAT would be dumb.

 

 

But a woman not feeling comfortable enough, or not feeling a massive attraction enough to want to kiss him on the first meet?

 

 

No that is not rejection. That is her simply not feeling comfortable (for whatever reasons) and her not feeling a massive attraction to him just yet.

 

 

He should ask her out again, because as I stated in my previous post, during the SECOND DATE, she may start feeling that massive attraction and be all over him...and then some!

[fitnessfan365]

Katie, I also wanted to touch on what you said about guys not attempting a kiss on a first date. The dynamic is a bit different. A guy can still show a woman he's interested by asking her out again. But if a guy is attracted to a woman enough to try and kiss her and she rejects him, where do you go from there?

 

It's funny because my best friend awhile back attempted to kiss a woman on a first date because she acted really interested. She cheeked him claiming she likes to take it slow. Stressed she'd still really like to go out again. Asked her out again. She said yes. Second date same thing. She seemed interested and cheeked him. But she still insists she wants to see him again.

 

Third date same thing. Apparent high interest and kiss rejection. Finally she tells him, "I really like spending time with you but you seem like more of a friend". Point being that she knew that back on the first date, but enjoyed his company and just wanted to keep being taken out. That's why I say if a guy goes for a kiss, and he gets rejected, he should just take it at face value. He's better off meeting/dating a woman that does feel it on the first date then having to convince a woman to feel it enough to kiss him. That's what the first date is for IMO.

[Popsicle]

I have always felt strong attraction on the first date. More like when I first laid eyes on him and I would make that clear in some way but that doesn't mean I would kiss him on the first date. I mean I might but I might not too. maybe he flubbed emotionally on the date but I want to give him a chance to redeem himself. or maybe I have food in my teeth.

[Gary S]

Yes katie, I've read your posts. Sure there is rejection in dating, that's life. However, why not try to minimize that if you could? It makes sense to me?

 

The man calling a woman for a date is the one who risks rejection, not her - if he's calling, he's usually interested (unless he's insane). If he's putting a foot forward in the dance, she's risking nothing at that juncture. All she has to do is go about her business until he calls - she does not have to lift a finger. Must be nice (more power to her I say)!

 

Sure, a woman might be a match for a man and not want to kiss on date one - but not very many, and the guy, if he's smart, is only looking for one love anyway - why bother? Again, why bet on a slow horse when you can bet on a faster one and have a lot better chance at a payoff? It's just common sense.

 

Women test men (good for them!). Why can't men test women? Furthermore, if you think about it, the kiss test is good for the woman also - why waste her time if she'll likely never be into the guy? Think of it as a gentleman's way of testing love level.

[katiegrl]

Katie, I also wanted to touch on what you said about guys not attempting a kiss on a first date. The dynamic is a bit different. A guy can still show a woman he's interested by asking her out again. But if a guy is attracted to a woman enough to try and kiss her and she rejects him, where do you go from there?

 

 

Again, as I stated in a previous post...

 

 

He asks her out on a second date. If she says yes, then fabulous! She likes him too. If she refuses or gives excuses, then he nexts her.

 

 

And then on the second date, perhaps when she (or even he sometimes) is feeling a bit more relaxed (because again first meets can so nerve-wracking and awkward sometimes)...he can try to kiss her again!

 

 

If she turns him down AGAIN, then he can next her.

[Versacehottie]

K Point being that she knew that back on the first date, but enjoyed his company and just wanted to keep being taken out.

 

OR she saw enough good things about him and enough attraction that despite not yet being completely comfortable enough to kiss him, she went again to find out whether there was enough there to keep dating him and didn't know for sure until end of 2nd date.

 

FYI, most of the girls I know NEVER go on dates to "keep being taken out or a free meal". It's awkward and uncomfortable and if you don't want to date the guy and you know that for sure, being out with him is nothing to be proud of.

[katiegrl]

 

It's funny because my best friend awhile back attempted to kiss a woman on a first date because she acted really interested. She cheeked him claiming she likes to take it slow. Stressed she'd still really like to go out again. Asked her out again. She said yes. Second date same thing. She seemed interested and cheeked him. But she still insists she wants to see him again.

 

Third date same thing. Apparent high interest and kiss rejection. Finally she tells him, "I really like spending time with you but you seem like more of a friend". Point being that she knew that back on the first date, but enjoyed his company and just wanted to keep being taken out. That's why I say if a guy goes for a kiss, and he gets rejected, he should just take it at face value. He's better off meeting/dating a woman that does feel it on the first date then having to convince a woman to feel it enough to kiss him. That's what the first date is for IMO.

 

Fitness Fan, that was ONE man's experience with ONE woman.

 

 

You can't judge an entire gender based on what one (or even two or three) men experience with various women.

 

 

WE ARE ALL DIFFERENT, and therefore will have different reactions....and responses.

 

 

What will it take for you to understand this?