donotknowwhattodo Posted May 2, 2005 Share Posted May 2, 2005 I am a bit depressed again. I sent my ex final notice Last Wednesday night and she hasn't replied me. Do you think I will even get a reply? I will not call you again, xxx. Instead I am inviting you up to Seattle for a visit in the next few months, end of may(?). I won't pay for your ticket unless you ask me to(would like to pay 50% of the fare because I love the e-dictionary you gave me). If you don't want to come, it means you will end up regretting. I am giving you the biggest joy in your life and hope you would be smart enough to take it. If not, we are not meant to be and that would be my closure. Love and take care because I am sure we will be ok no matter what happens. (my-nam) -- In some ways, I am hoping that you would not come. I am seeing someone and I like her(but we are not serious yet). But if you come, we will discuss what have changed and why or why not our relationship will work. That way, we will have a better second chance or a good closure. -- Final test of your love for me. Link to post Share on other sites
lindya Posted May 2, 2005 Share Posted May 2, 2005 Originally posted by donotknowwhattodo I will not call you again, xxx. Instead I am inviting you up to Seattle for a visit in the next few months, end of may(?). I won't pay for your ticket unless you ask me to(would like to pay 50% of the fare because I love the e-dictionary you gave me). If you don't want to come, it means you will end up regretting. I am giving you the biggest joy in your life and hope you would be smart enough to take it. If not, we are not meant to be and that would be my closure. Only she knows whether you are giving her the biggest joy in her life. Did you actually send her that message that send "Final test of your love for me" ?? Can't speak for other women on this forum, but personally that would make me run for the hills. It just makes the prospect of a relationship with you sound a bit...well....grim. Like an imminent exam or something. If you want an ex lover back, you have to be a little bit enticing. A bit mysterious. You have to make the prospect of meeting up with you again sound fun rather than scary. Link to post Share on other sites
Merin Posted May 2, 2005 Share Posted May 2, 2005 Sorry but IF a Guy I had been with and we had broken up sent that to me, IF I responded at all it wouldn't be something He (or You) would probably want to read... IMO It sounds arrogant and it sounds like you've expected her to jump through hoops as a test... Top it all off with "Hope you don't come because I've met someone else I like" and for real... If this was an idea for how to get her back... I would go back and get some different ideas... Link to post Share on other sites
teebee Posted May 2, 2005 Share Posted May 2, 2005 Yes I agree with all of the above from our judges. What kind of repsond were you actually looking for and what makes you think she's not with someone else. You are so funny you don't even seem to know what you want. If you are with someone, just call it quits. Why complicate your life in bringing back someone you don't really care about it sounds. If you really want a respond just apologize for the retarded letter and be a man and pay for the whole ticket. What's up with the 1/2 ticket deal? ??? Link to post Share on other sites
HotCaliGirl Posted May 2, 2005 Share Posted May 2, 2005 If I got that "final notice" there is no way in hell I'd respond either. 1. You're only offering to pay 50% for her travel and that's only because she got you a gift, otherwise you wouldn't offer it?! (cheap cheap cheap and tacky the way you word it) 2. You say "I will not call you again." ouch! that alone would make me delete the note before reading it further. 3. How arrogant of you to state that YOU are giving her the biggest joy in her life! I'd be telling myself "yeah right, screw you if you think what you are doing is bringing me the greatest joy." 4. You think you will both be ok no matter what happens. If someone I loved thought that, I'd think screw him for being all right even if we were no longer to be together. 5. You hope in some way she will not come, and the reason being that you are with another girl! COME ON!!! Are you serious?!!!..and you are still waiting for a response? I'm not clear if you actually sent those notes to her!!! If you did, not sure how your thought process works... Link to post Share on other sites
RecordProducer Posted May 2, 2005 Share Posted May 2, 2005 I would NEVER respond to an email like that. It's not worth spending 3 seconds to write "f*ck you!!!" which is exactly the respnse it deserves. Link to post Share on other sites
AriaIncognito Posted May 3, 2005 Share Posted May 3, 2005 Originally posted by donotknowwhattodo I am a bit depressed again. I sent my ex final notice Last Wednesday night and she hasn't replied me. Do you think I will even get a reply? I will not call you again, xxx. Instead I am inviting you up to Seattle for a visit in the next few months, end of may(?). I won't pay for your ticket unless you ask me to(would like to pay 50% of the fare because I love the e-dictionary you gave me). If you don't want to come, it means you will end up regretting. I am giving you the biggest joy in your life and hope you would be smart enough to take it. If not, we are not meant to be and that would be my closure. Love and take care because I am sure we will be ok no matter what happens. (my-nam) -- In some ways, I am hoping that you would not come. I am seeing someone and I like her(but we are not serious yet). But if you come, we will discuss what have changed and why or why not our relationship will work. That way, we will have a better second chance or a good closure. -- Final test of your love for me. Um, number one. "Final Notice". Who do you think you are, the phone company?? Why would you send something like that to someone you supposedly love? "Hey, this is my final notice to you. Either love me, or not". Yeah, that will make her come running. Next, what is it that you want? I mean, why write to her saying you hope she doesn't come, if you supposedly want her back? That makes absolutely no sense! If i got that email, I'd probably have a few very choice words for you, none of which would survive the censor of this message board. I hope she does reply to you, and rips you a new one. You seem to need it. Link to post Share on other sites
mixwell Posted May 3, 2005 Share Posted May 3, 2005 yeah that was a pretty arrogant txt.. maybe he just hasn't had the chance to talk and get advice from us people on LS. For sure I would try to say sorry and disregard the email but who knows if she will give you and form of contact. You should have talked to some people before sending the text.. I am assuming you didn't ONLY because I'm sure someone would have said what we are all basically saying... No one is trying to be an arsehole here but that txt was the WORST thing I heard anyone say to get there ex back.. You should try sendin another one that isnt soo bad and apologize for the other one or at least explain that you dont mean for it to sound the way it basically is.. Take care, Peace Link to post Share on other sites
donotknowwhattodo Posted May 3, 2005 Share Posted May 3, 2005 any guys' opinion on this? I don't expect much out of that message. I would rather to get a "f*ck you" response than none. It's the silence that's killing me right now. I know exactly what I want btw. I want to move on. She can come back under one condition, and that is she is willing to work things out with me. She broke up with me under stress and without thinking too clearly. Now we are both paying the price for being immature. I know I need to move on, but she emailing me once a while is putting hope in me, which consequently subotages any other relationships I could possibly have. I hate this feeling and want to get better. I want the best for both of us. Not just her, or me. Link to post Share on other sites
lindya Posted May 3, 2005 Share Posted May 3, 2005 That's right. You've joined a large and prestigious club with an ever-growing membership. The "mortified senders of texts/emails that never should have seen the light of day" association. We've all sent emails or texts we're not proud of at some point. Best thing to do is send a follow up basically akcnowledging that you were being a bit of a dick in your last email and you hope you haven't spoiled things too much. Lighten things up and learn to laugh at yourself a bit. If it doesn't bring your ex back, it'll help bring someone else into your life (assuming that you just made up the bit about having met someone new - and I think you did ) Link to post Share on other sites
XNemesisX Posted May 3, 2005 Share Posted May 3, 2005 I'm sorry but I had to laugh over this one. I think you made up the new girl too because you are trying to make your ex jealous. It sounds like to me that you desperately want your ex back but you also are mad at her and want to "show her." Hey, I have wrote stupid emails too don't feel bad. When we get mad we can sometimes write dumb stuff. Needless to say, I don't get replies back from my ex either! Definitely go back and write a better email with your tail in between your legs. It's so blaringly obvious that you are trying so hard to be rude to make yourself look hard -to-get or in high demand (b/c of your fictional girlfriend you threw in there). Redeem yourself....NOW Link to post Share on other sites
lindya Posted May 3, 2005 Share Posted May 3, 2005 Sometimes it's difficult to know when a relationship is over, but when people don't answer messages, it usually means that they don't want to see you again. She might not want to say "I don't want a relationship with you" to your face. That's a pity, because it's probably what you need to hear. Maybe she just thinks it's easier to ignore your messages. There is nothing you can do about that. You can't make her talk to you if she doesn't want to. The more you try, the angrier she will get. As she has not responded to your message, you are not in a position to lay down rules about what she should or must do in order to have a relationship with you. It sounds as if she doesn't want one. Even when people do want a relationship with you, it's not a good idea to do that. Especially in the beginning, people want relationships to be fun. They want to be able to relax with someone they like in their free time. They don't want to be presented with a list of rules about what they can and can't do if they want to be with you. You need to talk to someone about this, and find out how you can achieve better communication in your relationships with others. Link to post Share on other sites
donotknowwhattodo Posted May 16, 2005 Share Posted May 16, 2005 Thanks Lindya for your wonderful reply. I just want to post this update because I think it could be important to someone else. My ex is coming up to see me, after I sent her another email asking her to come. I don't know what's going to happen, but we will see. Thanks again for all the replies. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts