rider_rain Posted July 6, 2015 Share Posted July 6, 2015 Hi, I am 37 and my ex gf is 32, we met at friends wedding and had absolutely great relationship for 2 years ( she left her marriage for me ) I had harder time leaving my marriage for reasons beyond my control. at some point seems she got tired of waiting for me to commit and decided to leave even though I have assured her I have full intention of marriage and kids with her ( it is very important to her ). I still very much in love and always had the idea she was the one, ( I can tell at my age and after many different relationships ) , I am very very certain of it. I kept low contact for last 3 month but we did exchange messages and met each other in clubs few times , a bit suspicious because she came specifically knowing I would be there.... I never asked her back, although I am sure she knows I still love her, and the break up itself ,there was no drama, in fact it was nice and warm. Meanwhile I cleaned up my act ( she knows that as well - we have many mutual friends ) ,finalized divorce and actually arranged to meet for casual coffee to see the situation... but suddenly I found out she is dating someone from her past, her friends told me all about it, he is older but not as established as me and living abroad...? I was a bit tipsy, and sent her a mail, saying that i did really love her, and wanted marriage and would try again when my act is cleaned but cant really stay in touch since i know about new bf , basically a warm and not bad total goodbye email.... Suddenly she mails me back,saying she tried to reply but couldnt and she wants to talk in person and be honest with me....probably to tell me about him.. which seems really unnecessary since she could just say no to meet or not reply at all.. I even asked twice if she wants to meet.... I am thinking to meet but also prepared a sort of speech or letter, saying I understand all the breakup reasons,dont expect any answer or timelines but letting her know I do want her and ready for the real thing fully.... Any advices? I could move on .. I actually have someone that really seem to like me, but she is definitely a rebound and not even close to the ex... close friend of mine, telling me she thinks that guy is rebound too and I should do what I believe in... lost a bit... any input Link to post Share on other sites
darkmoon Posted July 6, 2015 Share Posted July 6, 2015 (edited) go and meet her to talk, you will have something new to beleive in, see what she says, hear her speech first, for it is important to know what is on her mind Edited July 6, 2015 by darkmoon Link to post Share on other sites
Author rider_rain Posted July 7, 2015 Author Share Posted July 7, 2015 (edited) Cheers, yes I guess thats all I can do... Interestingly enough met another friend of hers she goes to clubs with in random and that girl told me that the ex complained to her that I was cold to her in clubs and actually got proper sad and drunk after I left ( had to get out early ) because of that saying that seems like i forgot her already... , and other similar things sometimes I think women around me are crazy somehow... it seems so easy - just pick up the phone and say I actually miss you and want your attention...why is this cat and mouse game needed at all.. myself real bad playing those games...and just afraid to miss the momentum. I reckon I will just be honest with her while meeting, and just tell her that I cleaned my business ,still very much into her and would be glad if we could try again. Edited July 7, 2015 by rider_rain addon Link to post Share on other sites
Author rider_rain Posted February 8, 2016 Author Share Posted February 8, 2016 So the update on the whole thing was: We met, went out few times,it was good and we kinda started getting back together. Then, suddenly she turned around and said she needs to go her own way.. I left and never contacted her again. Fast forward, I got me a new lovely gf, and all my friends love her, the ex has gone socially invisible, apparently started work as hostess...?(she aint short on money ) and started dating one of hostess club customers, kinda old,fat guy some companys boss,one of those types that dont get women unless they pay for em.......( I never inquired..just heard about that from mutual friends ).. Then suddenly , I got bunch of adult photos of them yes naked from her daddy bf... and after sending me that he blocked me so i dont contact back... not that i was going to...I reached to a mutual friend to pass to her that I found that disgusting... and a month later she unfriended ( not blocked... ) me on fb.. I am not gonna act on it, but some friends told me I should have reached out myself and she is lost with but afraid to reach back out because of my new gf... , even though I might still have some feelings.. I am not planning to contact her , the only way things could work back is if she deeply apologies and initiate full contact herself. But I am intrigued by how things worked out and wonder if anyone ever had some similar experience... Link to post Share on other sites
Frogwife Posted February 8, 2016 Share Posted February 8, 2016 But I am intrigued by how things worked out and wonder if anyone ever had some similar experience... I can't offer any insight, but maybe look in the "Infidelity" or "Other Man/Other Woman" section on LS - I think there are a lot of stories on there about how relationships that started as affairs, etc. worked out in the end. I would imagine it's a pretty complicated dynamic. Link to post Share on other sites
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