loveweary11 Posted July 6, 2015 Share Posted July 6, 2015 A huge, huge great turn of events! My yoga instructor/Miami/spiritual/traveler chick is no longer going to London. Instead, she's joining me early to do the trip up to NY, then staying with me there as planned! I'm soooo excited, but surely on my way to a major heartbreak given how flighty she is. You know how I always say getting girls is like getting a cat to come over? Well... This one is like getting a damn bird on the top of as tree to come over. I've actually done. Getting the guest bicycle early so we can take our time going up, stop in places and explore on bike (she likes bike rides but hers was stolen a while back). 15 Link to post Share on other sites
Robert Z Posted July 6, 2015 Share Posted July 6, 2015 but surely on my way to a major heartbreak given how flighty she is. Oh well.... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author loveweary11 Posted July 6, 2015 Author Share Posted July 6, 2015 Oh well.... Yeah... i don't even care though. Just spending time with her is worth it. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Gloria25 Posted July 6, 2015 Share Posted July 6, 2015 Yeah... i don't even care though. Just spending time with her is worth it. Hey, as long as nooky is on the table, I say "game on"!!! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Fleur de cactus Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 Have a good time, you deserve it! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 (edited) I'm soooo excited, but surely on my way to a major heartbreak given how flighty she is. It doesn't have to end in heartbreak. Throw that idea away. You know where the boundaries and limits are, but you can have a wonderful time within them. Non-Possessive love is a wonderful thing. Edited July 7, 2015 by Satu 7 Link to post Share on other sites
jackny123 Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 Not sure how old you are but when you hit your late 20's, very often women "expect" something to happen - e.g., they are dating you because they see you as a suitable father, life partner, husband, etc. It's hard to find a woman who just wants to experience a fleeting moment with you - perhaps a weekend or a week or a month together. Enjoy the moment. One day, you'll find "the one." Until then, the experience you have with this girl will be forever seared into your memory based on the things you share together. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author loveweary11 Posted July 7, 2015 Author Share Posted July 7, 2015 It doesn't have to end in heartbreak. Throw that idea away. You know where the boundaries and limits are, but you can have a wonderful time within them. Non-Possessive love is a wonderful thing. Thanks, everyone for your kind posts and support. This, I need to brush up on. One thing I really like about this one is how much I can learn from her (kind of why I took a strong liking to you, Satu). My natural inclination is not free, non-possessive love. It's codependent, deep connection love. One thing I've learned more recently is that all relationships are temporary, no matter how long they last, so might as well enjoy them and not be too hurt as they pass. I really enjoy learning about spiritual things, a novel/spiritual approach to life, etc, from her. It's crazy. She's 25, but has been studying this stuff intensely since she was a kid. Took to it like I took to science/tech. When she came out of the intense, several month, live in course at the ashram, she was more balanced and mature, with a lot of cool things I like hearing about. I'm going to do my best to go in with a completely open mind and accept whatever is there for me without much expectation on my side. It's so weird how we have been on/off/on for so many years. Did I mention for the past 6-8 months or so, she has been living out of a backpack, traveling the East coast? By Greyhound? Gotta chill though... cant get too excited. Must play it cool in real life. this is one of the biggest moves we've ever made. I mean, we just committed to living together from now until at least Sept/Oct. PS: Nookie is always on the table, Gloria. From the very first day we met and every time thereafter. Whew... sorry to get so excited. I need to release some of this so I don't act so excited around her! 7 Link to post Share on other sites
Methodical Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 Enjoy the ride while it lasts LW. Who knows, she may not be as flighty as you think, maybe whimsical . 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author loveweary11 Posted July 7, 2015 Author Share Posted July 7, 2015 Not sure how old you are but when you hit your late 20's, very often women "expect" something to happen - e.g., they are dating you because they see you as a suitable father, life partner, husband, etc. It's hard to find a woman who just wants to experience a fleeting moment with you - perhaps a weekend or a week or a month together. Enjoy the moment. One day, you'll find "the one." Until then, the experience you have with this girl will be forever seared into your memory based on the things you share together. Thanks. I was already married 10 years. This one is a tad younger tham me. She's mid 20's. The less we discuss how Tom Baker was my Dr Who the better! Her and I just connect on every level. We both almost got intoban actual relationship with each other several times, but she was always out exploring guys more, I was exploring girls. We've even had other relationships in between, but always come back to each other. It's the weirdest thing. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
PrettyEmily77 Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 Thanks. I was already married 10 years. This one is a tad younger tham me. She's mid 20's. The less we discuss how Tom Baker was my Dr Who the better! Her and I just connect on every level. We both almost got intoban actual relationship with each other several times, but she was always out exploring guys more, I was exploring girls. We've even had other relationships in between, but always come back to each other. It's the weirdest thing. Sounds really encouraging, LW and, yes, very exciting. Go for it with your heart open . 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Brigit_1 Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 1. My natural inclination is not free, non-possessive love. It's codependent, deep connection love. 2. One thing I've learned more recently is that all relationships are temporary, no matter how long they last, so might as well enjoy them and not be too hurt as they pass. 3. I'm going to do my best to go in with a completely open mind and accept whatever is there for me without much expectation on my side. Loveweary you are one cool dude and I know where your head's at and where you want it to go. My inclination is also codependent deep connection love. This is probably why I've never had a one night stand and have only slept with a small amount of men. My natural instinct is to grab, bond and meld into another. From your posts it sounds like you've slept with lots of women so perhaps you're not as codependent as you think or maybe it has something to do with that you're a guy and guys view sex differently. In any case, I highly recommend listening to Eckhart Tolle's "The Power of Now." This book has changed my life and many others. He teaches a bit about Buddhism but sort of blends it with other spiritual thinking. Here is a link to the the whole book which someone uploaded: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u1j-CQP6lmw Link to post Share on other sites
jay1983 Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 Loveweary you are one cool dude and I know where your head's at and where you want it to go. My inclination is also codependent deep connection love. This is probably why I've never had a one night stand and have only slept with a small amount of men. My natural instinct is to grab, bond and meld into another. From your posts it sounds like you've slept with lots of women so perhaps you're not as codependent as you think or maybe it has something to do with that you're a guy and guys view sex differently. In any case, I highly recommend listening to Eckhart Tolle's "The Power of Now." This book has changed my life and many others. He teaches a bit about Buddhism but sort of blends it with other spiritual thinking. Here is a link to the the whole book which someone uploaded: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u1j-CQP6lmw That's the lamest most dull voice I've ever heard. I couldn't sit through the first minute of that. Lol Link to post Share on other sites
GemmaUK Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 Love this LW!!! Just don't try to pin her down. Give her her own space and you have yours - absolutely have yours. I know a similar story and 12 years later they are very much together. Neither one ever laid an expectation upon the other. They still don't and are blissfully happy. They had what you two sound like you have had. Link to post Share on other sites
Brigit_1 Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 That's the lamest most dull voice I've ever heard. I couldn't sit through the first minute of that. Lol Yo...you suck. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 (edited) My natural inclination is not free, non-possessive love. It's codependent, deep connection love. In my own evolution I have arrived at the point where I regard love as being total extension of the self. Nothing held back. Nothing conditional. I give all of myself, but never to just one person. I belong to everyone, and everyone can have all of me. Edited July 7, 2015 by Satu 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Brigit_1 Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 In my own evolution I have arrived at the point where I regard love as being total extension of the self. Nothing held back. Nothing conditional. I give all of myself, but never to just one person. I belong to everyone, and everyone can have all of me. Deep connection love is what I create in my relationships, but without the codependency. You are fully capable of that, right this instant. Sometimes happiness is just one thought away. That is beautifully put. I tend to be grasping and clinging when it comes to love at times. It's part of me and I accept it. Thru meditation and spiritual endeavors I've learned to become less needy and more compassionate. I may never be someone who is always living in the moment but that's OK for me. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author loveweary11 Posted July 7, 2015 Author Share Posted July 7, 2015 In my own evolution I have arrived at the point where I regard love as being total extension of the self. Nothing held back. Nothing conditional. I give all of myself, but never to just one person. I belong to everyone, and everyone can have all of me. Deep connection love is what I create in my relationships, but without the codependency. You are fully capable of that, right this instant. Sometimes happiness is just one thought away. Thank you. I'm going to try this. She thinks the exact same way you do regarding this stuff. It's going to be new ground... I might screw it up, but it's well worth a try. I am more of "a meld into a new, 3rd thing" type like Brigit. I'll have to fight those instincts, to some extent. And Brigit...I've always been in relationships up until my divorce. To get my ex out of my head, I just went along with the millennial hookup culture. It sure helped me feel better about my divorce, but that deeper connection was missing. Hopefully, I will be able to get a deep connection with freedom as well. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
jay1983 Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 Yo...you suck. Oh Brigit......... Hey Brig, just curious. How tall are you and how tall do men have to be before you consider them a match? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Brigit_1 Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 Oh Brigit......... Hey Brig, just curious. How tall are you and how tall do men have to be before you consider them a match? LOL! I'm 5'3 and my HUSBAND is 6'2. (He hates Eckhart's voice too. He think's it's annoying. Anytime I wanna get him out of the room I put it on.) Now back to Loveweary's thread. Link to post Share on other sites
jay1983 Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 LOL! I'm 5'3 and my HUSBAND is 6'2. (He hates Eckhart's voice too. He think's it's annoying. Anytime I wanna get him out of the room I put it on.) Now back to Loveweary's thread. I'm only 5'11" Link to post Share on other sites
Brigit_1 Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 Thank you. I'm going to try this. She thinks the exact same way you do regarding this stuff. It's going to be new ground... I might screw it up, but it's well worth a try. I am more of "a meld into a new, 3rd thing" type like Brigit. I'll have to fight those instincts, to some extent. And Brigit...I've always been in relationships up until my divorce. To get my ex out of my head, I just went along with the millennial hookup culture. It sure helped me feel better about my divorce, but that deeper connection was missing. Hopefully, I will be able to get a deep connection with freedom as well. Oh wow, I didn't know. I thought you really liked a transient love lifestyle. I could see how it would be refreshing after going thru a divorce ESPECIALLY if you're someone who bonded emotionally with your spouse. Divorce must have felt like an amputation. Now you've got a new chance with a woman you've developed a strong connection with and if anything it will be an adventure. Link to post Share on other sites
Brigit_1 Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 I'm only 5'11" That's a respectable hight. I'm sure you'll meet a nice SINGLE girl who'll bring stuff to the table. If fact, I gifted you one in a thread that for some reason got locked. Link to post Share on other sites
Author loveweary11 Posted July 7, 2015 Author Share Posted July 7, 2015 Oh wow, I didn't know. I thought you really liked a transient love lifestyle. I could see how it would be refreshing after going thru a divorce ESPECIALLY if you're someone who bonded emotionally with your spouse. Divorce must have felt like an amputation. Now you've got a new chance with a woman you've developed a strong connection with and if anything it will be an adventure. Close. I really like a transient lifestyle, with one woman in it. And yes, i was a little worse off than the average person from my divorce. Thanks! Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden2 Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 I am sooo gonna bitch on you cos I was waiting to hear about your recruitment drive. Now I guess I'll just have to dream of the ' ' life....! Bummer. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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