I need to let go of these old feelings

[QueenDafine]

So I've been in a long distance with my 'boyfriend' for 5 months but we were dating for 5 months before I moved to another country (my parents). I'm 16 and he's 19 so it's really hard to kind of find a way to be together. Our relationship was so strong and we were both so deep into it. I cant explain it, just everything we did was out of love and we were so close and I've never had a compainionship like it.. it was really good until 2 months after I moved. We talked every night and feelings were still crazy until one day he just stopped being romantic with me and kind of acting I was his friend. Okaaayy I admit a few times I blew him oft when he tried to bring the romance back but we got to the point where we were just playing games and we had to take a break. The break lasted for 3 looong months. Our feelings just grew non-existent and interest was slowly going down. Despite this I still had feelings for him..Still not as strong ones but they were there and I was sad when we didn't talk for that long. But two months into the break I just gave up because I couldnt help thinking of him like some sad little girl and I was sick of waiting for him so yeah. It was really good actually, I was getting on with my life and things were actually getting back to normal until he messaged me last week. We ended up having a huge fight after I said I wasn't into it anymore and things had changed with how I felt. After that I planned to just stop talking but for some stupid reason I kept the conversation going. We did figure things out 1but now I'm just back to square one and it ****ing sucks. We are the same as we were right before the break and it's just frustrating because I don't want to be playing games no more and I just want to have things go back to normal, and I can only do that by completely stop contacting him. I'm tired of thinking about him and waiting for him to text me or something because it brings back **** feelings and memories. The thing is if I stop I know things will never be the same and I'll also be losing my best friend. I feel like I'll regret it too the next time I see him which is in about two months because I know things will just be the best and things will be like they used to be. I just can't keep it up for another 2 months you feel me? Also things will be awkward because my best friend is dating his best friend. I just don't want to stop talking to him because I'm 3/4 of the reason why he's coming here and I feel bad if I just blow him off. I know another way to go about this is to just try and be his friend and act like his friend but I can't ignore the stupid urges I still get from when we were together. It's just sad that we were so close and now it's like this. We're in that circle where we aren't together but it would be wrong to kiss or even go out on a date with someone else because even now he's asking about some of my guy friends here and talking **** about them and ughhh.I know we're both only young but I know that what we have is something special and it would be stupid to let it go. The thing is I feel like I need to heal myself and find myself it's just that I'm not ready to take the risk of losing him because another few months of not talking will just kind of ruin things again. I really don't know what to do I know I need more time to be able to come back to him feeling like I can comfortabkt talk to him withiut my feelings getting in the way because feelings are only just digging a deeper hole for me. I just need time to clear myself and come back without any feelings so i stop physching mywelf out.I dont know if it's because I'm really young and inexperienced but this is really draining and I dont know what to do. Im so confused about what the heart wants and what the head knows..Sorry for sounding all over the place but I just want to know what you'd do if you were me?

[d0nnivain]

You two are not mature enough & your relationship is not strong enough to survive the distance. You need physical proximity to keep the love & romance alive. That is not a criticism & I am not trying to downplay the depths of your feelings but you are both young and LDRs are hard.

 

I wouldn't even attempt to stay together across the miles. When you do see each other it's OK to date but don't kid yourselves by making promises about exclusivity while you are apart. If you meet somebody local both of you are free to date that person.

[mg101]

Aww hon, you're really young and I remember it was annoying when people trivialized my feelings when I was that age... but when I got older, I realized it wasn't that all consuming, real love that I thought it was because I was young and didn't even know myself yet. I know you feel overwhelmed with everything right now, but trust me, you'll be ok. I think you should create some distance and move on with school, friends and companions in your own city. Maybe you can rekindle a friendship later on. But keep it casual. Time heals most wounds so you just have to give it an actual chance to do so.