10thengineerharrison Posted July 24, 2015 Share Posted July 24, 2015 My wife had an affair, lasted 6 months. It was last year. I keep having this questions on my mind, and everytime I try to ask anything we fight. Some say, I shouldn't know all the details, its gonna eat me inside. Int he other hand she is supposed to not hide/lie to me about it. My feeling is that I will only rebuild my self esteem back once I know I am "better" than him (for her). But what if he is? I wrote a list of questions. Please tell me what is right to as and what is not Nobody can or should tell you what you need to know or not know about your own life. Before you get to your list, I want to point out a major red flag that's standing in the way of any possibility of recovery here: She gets defensive when you ask questions about her affair? This is NOT a person who's remorseful about what they did to you. RUN AWAY. As for your other question. It's not whether you or the OM might be better for her, it's that SHE is not good for YOU. Run away. -10th Engineer Harrison. Link to post Share on other sites
10thengineerharrison Posted July 24, 2015 Share Posted July 24, 2015 Dear Sir, First of all, there is a timeline to everything. If you take things out of the timeline, you will make wrong conclusions. Just like you did. As this is a support forum, I recommend you to find a "judgment" forum. When we have nothing good to say, silence is gold. Thank you for your time, anyways. Really? That's your response to Charger's post? I hadn't seen it when I posted my response to your questions above. If you really have had an open marriage, threesomes, or whatever in your past, then my post above really doesn't apply and I don't know what to suggest. -10th Engineer Harrison Link to post Share on other sites
66Charger Posted July 25, 2015 Share Posted July 25, 2015 He forced her to have sex with this same guy. The thread is just a Cuckhold gone wrong. Now he forced her again. He appears to be happy now. She should divorce this guy. Yesterday. Link to post Share on other sites
beach Posted July 25, 2015 Share Posted July 25, 2015 I don't know how I missed this important detail! About 10 weeks ago, she had a miscarriage (my baby, for sure, let's not waste time around this question), and since then she has been depressed. She was probably 3 or 4 weeks pregnant. Now this is how she is postponing the answering of my questions. While I think is fair and loving to give her some time to recover, I feel like she had enough time before that. And I have a feeling, it's gonna be "too late" then. I can hear she saying "We have been so good all this time, why bring this up now?". Feels like a trap... If I am good to her, treat her nice for her to recover, I lose the right to it. But If I keep pressuring her, she wont do anything because we will be in a constant fight. Sorry about the loss of the baby... She had her affair a year ago. She's had a full year to tell you details but she chose not to. She doesn't intend to give you info. That hurts... She's not doing all she can to repair her mistrust. Without her info and trust - there's no foundation for the M. I hope you protect against further pregnancies - this is a mess that may never get sorted out. Your wife is with holding her truth because she wants to hold more power over you. Link to post Share on other sites
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