Why do so many women choose their heels over a man?

[Rejected Rosebud]

OK...but you didnt answer the question. Why doesnt a woman like that give up her heels if she does meet a great guy that is only an inch or two taller than her? Thats what I'm talking about.

Well how do you know she wouldn't give them up if she met that guy??? And guys who "only" like girls with long blonde hair might fall for a brunette girl if he met her in a natural way and got to know her!!! That doesn't mean though that they would have agreed to meet from online profiles. If a person has preferences and parameters that they put on their online profiles there's nothing wrong with that, if you want to contact a girl who wants a tall guy and you're not one do so at your own risk though, I think you'd be setting yourself up to get your feelings hurt.

[PJKino]

So what though? Most people have things about them that make them unattractive to some other people, since the people on dating sites are strangers then all you have to do is cross those off your list. It doesn't mean she's "choosing heels over a man." It means she has this preference and you can think whatever you want about it!!! They are strangers and what they like has nothing to do with you guys. Or with any of us!!! :bunny:

 

I get that I was responding to the post that said it's about ego..I didn't realize women look at getting a tall man as some sort of sense of accomplishment that makes then feel validated..

[Gloria25]

I don't "need" heels. I like heels. I very seriously dated someone for a long time in college who was just a tiny bit shorter than me when I was flat footed. He loved it when I wore heels.

 

I don't have to have a man who is taller than I am in heels. I do want a man who isn't going to whine about silly things that make him insecure, like what kind of shoes I am wearing to dinner.

 

THANK YOU!!! ^^^

 

I wear heels cuz gosh darn, they make your legs look freakin' sexy...

 

I've dated shorter guys, but it's attitudes like the OP that make me think twice about dating them. I don't need someone who is insecure about their height.

 

I mean, recently on OLD, some dude gave me his tel - but at the same time he said 'I think you're out of my league' - so, he's already doubting I'm gonna like him. Well, I haven't called that number and now probably never will. I don't need some guy to feel sorry for himself. Geesh:rolleyes: Next time, keep your insecurities to yourself and just give me the freakin' tel and give it a try - don't shoot yourself in the foot beforehand.

[elaine567]

I get that I was responding to the post that said it's about ego..I didn't realize women look at getting a tall man as some sort of sense of accomplishment that makes then feel validated..

 

Everyone who ends up with a person with traits desirable to others is going to feel validated somehow.

[Shining One]

don't shoot yourself in the foot beforehand.

Here's the solution. Shoot the woman in the foot. She can't wear heels and a cast at the same time.

[elaine567]

I guess some women who do not even wear heels, use them as an excuse to dissuade a shorter man.

I think many women just think it is a bit nicer to sort of blame it on her own narcissism and superficiality about wanting to wear heels, than to come straight out and say, "You're just far too short for me"

[S_A]

Everyone who ends up with a person with traits desirable to others is going to feel validated somehow.

 

Haha this is so true. When guys find out my GF is Brazilian their mouths hang open and they go stiff. I've even been asked "where can I get one" lol. I personally couldn't care less about her ethnicity, but it definitely feels good to have what other guys want no matter how shallow it is.

[Male]

I guess some women who do not even wear heels, use them as an excuse to dissuade a shorter man.

I think many women just think it is a bit nicer to sort of blame it on her own narcissism and superficiality about wanting to wear heels, than to come straight out and say, "You're just far too short for me"

 

I can see some women doing that. But the only women that have ever shot me down using the "high heels" excuse have been shorter than me when we are flat footed. And usually they are 4-5 inches shorter.

 

I've never had a woman that is almost the same height as me raise an issue like the shorter women do. Two of my long term relationships have been with women that were only an inch shorter than me.

 

I should have mentioned in my original post that most of the women that have this "I need a tall man because I wear heels" issue tend to be women under 5'5.(In my experience).

 

Do some of these shorter women feel inferior and left out, so they wear heels to garner the attention of taller men, at the same time dissing guys that are only a few inches taller than themselves, feeling that those men arent adequate?

 

Women are the ones that constantly complain about guys being too superficial, and that guys need to "like me for who I am, not for my body"....yet I see many women being much more superficial in the dating world(they just tend to be much better at hiding it than the guys).

 

And to respond to the women on here that think I must be "insecure" for asking and posting about a topic like this, that is far from the truth. obviously berating me just for posting this shows the lack of ammo you have for your side of the argument. I dont have a problem with my height. Just like many other men dont have a problem with their height when women diss them.

 

I just find it funny how if a guy treats a woman bad, or if a guy disrespects a woman one way or another, there is a band wagon of support for her, and groups of women rally together, getting on the "bash male pigs" bandwagon. But when you turn the tables, and a guy points out disrespectful behavior by a woman or group of women, theres always a group of women that rally to discredit the guy, label him as weak and insecure, and tell him that the woman "has the right to act that way".

[Woggle]

Like I always say be glad when people show their true colors. If a restaurant advertised a crap sandwich I don't get mad at them because they let me know it is crap. Even if I towered over a woman like this I would not message her but I am glad I know what she is like before I waste my time.

[autumnnight]

I can see some women doing that. But the only women that have ever shot me down using the "high heels" excuse have been shorter than me when we are flat footed. And usually they are 4-5 inches shorter.

 

I've never had a woman that is almost the same height as me raise an issue like the shorter women do. Two of my long term relationships have been with women that were only an inch shorter than me.

 

I should have mentioned in my original post that most of the women that have this "I need a tall man because I wear heels" issue tend to be women under 5'5.(In my experience).

 

Do some of these shorter women feel inferior and left out, so they wear heels to garner the attention of taller men, at the same time dissing guys that are only a few inches taller than themselves, feeling that those men arent adequate?

 

Women are the ones that constantly complain about guys being too superficial, and that guys need to "like me for who I am, not for my body"....yet I see many women being much more superficial in the dating world(they just tend to be much better at hiding it than the guys).

 

And to respond to the women on here that think I must be "insecure" for asking and posting about a topic like this, that is far from the truth. obviously berating me just for posting this shows the lack of ammo you have for your side of the argument. I dont have a problem with my height. Just like many other men dont have a problem with their height when women diss them.

 

I just find it funny how if a guy treats a woman bad, or if a guy disrespects a woman one way or another, there is a band wagon of support for her, and groups of women rally together, getting on the "bash male pigs" bandwagon. But when you turn the tables, and a guy points out disrespectful behavior by a woman or group of women, theres always a group of women that rally to discredit the guy, label him as weak and insecure, and tell him that the woman "has the right to act that way".

 

You're seeing what you want to see...just like every other guy who wants the entire female population to change to suit him and whines when they don't.

[Rejected Rosebud]

I get that I was responding to the post that said it's about ego..I didn't realize women look at getting a tall man as some sort of sense of accomplishment that makes then feel validated..

Of course there are some people who look at their mate as some kind of status symbol whether it be the prettiest young lady, the most successful man, the best homemaker, the captain of the football team, whatever, I am sure you know this - and also that the post you are responding to meant that IN THESE CASES IT'S EGO, not that "women look at getting a tall man blah blah blah."

[Male]

Like I always say be glad when people show their true colors. If a restaurant advertised a crap sandwich I don't get mad at them because they let me know it is crap. Even if I towered over a woman like this I would not message her but I am glad I know what she is like before I waste my time.

 

Yes very true.

 

I am not making this post as a way of complaining that these women dont like me. I am making this post because I am inquisitive about how people act and why.

[Woggle]

Yes very true.

 

I am not making this post as a way of complaining that these women dont like me. I am making this post because I am inquisitive about how people act and why.

 

Quite trying to understand this world and you will be a much happier person. Just be glad that they advertise what they are really about.

[Male]

Of course there are some people who look at their mate as some kind of status symbol

 

I know exactly what you mean....

 

it definitely feels good to have what other guys want no matter how shallow it is.

[Male]

Quite trying to understand this world and you will be a much happier person. Just be glad that they advertise what they are really about.

 

 

HAHA! That is SOOO true. But thats the problem, my brain doesnt shut off. I wish I could be one of those naive, easily amused people, but that just wont happen.

[autumnnight]

HAHA! That is SOOO true. But thats the problem, my brain doesnt shut off. I wish I could be one of those naive, easily amused people, but that just wont happen.

 

Well, THAT'S nice...it isn't about being naive and easily amused. It is about living in reality and knowing you cannot control others.

[Woggle]

HAHA! That is SOOO true. But thats the problem, my brain doesnt shut off. I wish I could be one of those naive, easily amused people, but that just wont happen.

 

I am far far from naive but I have come to terms with society. It is what it is and there is nothing I can do change it. Every 12 step program says to have the power to accept what you can't change and that is what I am doing. This applies to many many things other than dating and relationships as well. I can control me and who I let into my private world. Anything else is beyond my control. Yes a lot of women are like this nowadays but so are many men but that makes finding a rare gem that much more special.

[preraph]

Not all women will do that -- and you should avoid the ones you do. I was taller than all but one of my bfs, heels or no heels, and it didn't stop me from wearing heels and their height didn't stop them from attracting women. So again, it's one of those online things where stupid people are trying to order up "the perfect man" like he's somewhere on the menu and don't get that that isn't the way to go about it.

[elaine567]

I can see some women doing that. But the only women that have ever shot me down using the "high heels" excuse have been shorter than me when we are flat footed. And usually they are 4-5 inches shorter.

 

I've never had a woman that is almost the same height as me raise an issue like the shorter women do. Two of my long term relationships have been with women that were only an inch shorter than me.

 

I should have mentioned in my original post that most of the women that have this "I need a tall man because I wear heels" issue tend to be women under 5'5.(In my experience).

 

 

Men were most satisfied with women slightly shorter than them (about 3 in.), but women were most satisfied when they were much shorter than their male partners (about 8 in.). https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/fulfillment-any-age/201306/why-women-want-tall-men

But the conclusion of this study was as follows:-

 

In conclusion, we have shown that all previously documented preference patterns for partner height are at least qualitatively realised in actual pairings. We note, however, that compared to random mating the magnitude of these effects was generally low, suggesting that mating preferences were only partially realised. These results are in line with a recent study that showed that traits considered strongly related to attractiveness, such as height, are not necessarily strongly related to actual pairing

[Gloria25]

Yes very true.

 

I am not making this post as a way of complaining that these women dont like me. I am making this post because I am inquisitive about how people act and why.

 

Well, it comes off as complaining to me...

 

I mean, look at what I quoted from you (above)...You don't say "some of these women don't like me", you say "that these women don't like me". Therefore, you already lumped into one group a certain kind of women - who wear heels - don't like shorter guys....

 

And, it's attitudes like that is what turns me off when I see certain guys. I mean, I've dated shorter guys and still have no issue with it, but I ain't gonna lie that I proceed with caution because I don't know if I'll have to be "walking on egg shells" (no pun intended) to appease his insecurities from crap he got from other women

[Quiet Storm]

Do some of these shorter women feel inferior and left out, so they wear heels to garner the attention of taller men, at the same time dissing guys that are only a few inches taller than themselves, feeling that those men arent adequate?

 

 

 

Most short women don't feel inferior about being short. Plenty of tall guys are attracted to short women. I think some women do have insecurities about their bodies, but in my experience it's usually about weight or body shape, not height.

 

People are attracted to what they are attracted to, and height is often viewed as an attractive quality in a man. Short women aren't going to alter their preferences so that short guys can have more options. They want what they are attracted to, just like everyone else. The good thing is that many short guys have no problems attracting women. This is what you need to focus on- many short guys date attractive women. Focusing on women who don't want to date short guys will only make you feel insecure or jaded.

 

You can't logically talk someone out of an attraction because attraction isn't logical or intellectual. It's visceral, primal and emotional. A guy who is attracted to big breasts isn't going to stop noticing them because he finds out small boobs are equal milk producers. A girl who is attracted to tall guys won't change just because someone points out that women don't need protection anymore, or that short guys can make her feel equally safe. This is because attraction isn't coming from the pragmatic part of us. It won't always make sense, and that's OK.

 

Biologically speaking, since height is often considered to be a valued male trait in society, there could be some biological reason behind short women preferring tall men. Just like men may subconsciously see a woman's youth/beauty/body shape/skin&hair as being traits for good baby making, a short woman with a tall guy improves the chance that her male offspring will be average height or tall height. Short woman + short man= short kids. Short woman + tall man= 50/50 chance of having average or tall kids. People will says it's superficial and illogical, but most of this is subconscious. The short girl isn't doing this to be mean to short guys. She's just going after what she likes, and why shouldn't she?

 

Many women do not care about height, as evidenced by the posts above. I know many short guys in successful relationships with beautiful women of various heights. Instead of trying to convince women who prefer tall guys into being attracted to short guys, or getting angry because a short girl wants a tall guy, it's much smarter to look for women that have no height preferences.

[jay1983]

Everyone who ends up with a person with traits desirable to others is going to feel validated somehow.

 

Then why are you always babbling about how wrong it is that women get judged for their bodies and blah blah blah?

 

Yet when it's the other way around, it's perfectly fine and you're even onboard with it.

[S_A]

Here is the problem with guys in general (especially on this forum), they get all grouchy when they realize they can't possibly attract every woman out in the world. "I'm 5'9" and therefore can't attract women 5'8" and up 'grrrrrrrrrrrrrr' women are shallow!" This is partly fueled by how guys, in general, think they are the 'ish and we see ourselves in a better light than what everyone else sees.

 

Stop being butt hurt over the women that are not attracted to you and stop feeling like all women should be attracted to you.

 

"But... But... But... it's not fair to rule me out because I am the same height as the woman!"

 

Maybe. But There are so many posts on here that read "American women suck" and "I only date Asians".

 

Yeah, you're ruling out a lot of women there and you're free to do so, but so are the women who rule out guys who are not a specific height. Stop trying to change the woman's preferences.

 

Honestly, I am pretty new to this forum but had been browsing here a couple months prior. In the short time I've been here I've seen a lot of males bashing on females. Seldom have I seen the reverse. Though to be fair, I think it's just a handful of guys doing a majority of the bashing.

Edited July 7, 2015 by S_A

[jay1983]

Where are you seeing this heels and height thing?

 

I did OLD about a year ago and I swear I only saw that on a couple of profiles in which were very tall girls.

 

Where are you getting this from?

[S_A]

Where are you seeing this heels and height thing?

 

I did OLD about a year ago and I swear I only saw that on a couple of profiles in which were very tall girls.

 

Where are you getting this from?

 

A lot of women have a height requirement in their profiles (even short ones). The magic number seems to be 6ft.