begman Posted May 2, 2005 Share Posted May 2, 2005 It has been quite a while since I started NC with my ex. About 2 1/2 months. She wanted to be friends after we broke up but after a while of doing that I realized it wasn't working for me. The problem is that I can't get her out of my mind. I'm even dating and I still constantly think about her. I'm having a hard time with this. The weird thing is that my girlfriend before her who I almost asked to get married is back in my life. We broke up over 2 years ago after a long 9 year on again off again relationship. She just got out of a two year relationship with a guy. We talk a lot now and do things together like go to a movie or dinner. It was something that I never thought would happen again because I was sure she would get married to the guy she was dating. We are friends now. We are both going through the grieving process of a broken relationship and we enjoy each others company. There are still feelings there on my side but not enough to think that we will ever get back together again. I just don't get it though. Even with my ex ex back in my life and dating some other girls I can't stop thinking about my ex. It is driving me nuts. Anyone have any suggestions. I keep thinking that I will eventually meet someone that will make me forget the past but it has been 6 months since we broke up and I feel like I won't meet anyone that will knock me off of my feet like she did. And the thing that sucks is is that my ex treated me bad and I still miss her. Also, my ex contacts my one good friend because they have the same political views. It kind of bothers me that he responds to her emails because he knows how she treated me and the hurt she put me through. Am I wrong for being mad about this? I feel like my friend isn't supporting me. I know he is just being nice by returning her emails and venting his political issues but it still doesn't make me happy. It also makes me mad that she is contacting my friends. I talked to my ex ex about this and she agrees that she shouldn't be doing that. She said that she doesn't talk to her ex-boyfriends friends anymore since they broke up. Link to post Share on other sites
loveisallaround Posted May 2, 2005 Share Posted May 2, 2005 How long did you go out for? I personally think it's a load of crap - but, many say that it takes atleast half the time you went out with the person to heal. I've also heard it takes twice as long. Myself, I believe it's the quality and depth. Not the quantity and longevity. Time will eventually heal everything. Hang tight. Confide in friends, the girl who came back in your life, creative outlets, etc. You'll get through this, as hard as it may be! Link to post Share on other sites
BrotherAaron Posted May 2, 2005 Share Posted May 2, 2005 I think it'd be more supportive of your friend not to be talking to her, not if you can't really see a strong friendship there as an explanation to why they would. As for forgetting about her, it takes time, of course, but it also takes determination. You need to want to forget about her. Don't think about getting back with her. Really, 2 1/2 months isn't all that long. You're on the right path, just keep going, and don't get discouraged now. Nobody said this would be easy. Link to post Share on other sites
ltomlinson81 Posted May 2, 2005 Share Posted May 2, 2005 First, I think it takes about a year to get over a long-term relationship. You have to get through all of the holidays, anniversaries, birthdays and other special events without that person in order to truly move on. Second, I think its "code" that you don't fraternize with your friends' exes. Just tell your friend that it hurts you that they talk. He will be more understanding than you think. Link to post Share on other sites
Author begman Posted May 2, 2005 Author Share Posted May 2, 2005 We dated for a year. I agree brotheraaron, I don't think that my buddy should be talking to her. I wouldn't do that to him. Should I say something to him about it? He has been one of my friends for a long time and I don't want to ruin the friendship. Does it make me look like a jerk because I'm telling him not to talk to her? I mean it is a free country, he can talk to anyone he wants. I don't know. It is just another part of my life that reminds me of her knowing that they talk. Link to post Share on other sites
BrotherAaron Posted May 2, 2005 Share Posted May 2, 2005 He should respect your feelings. I don't see why your ex would really mean anything to him - and, considering, why he would even want to keep talking to her if he knows it upsets you. Just say something, it's not that big of a deal. Link to post Share on other sites
nyckey Posted May 2, 2005 Share Posted May 2, 2005 You'll never forget her, and that's a good thing. Use thoughs memories to help you with your next relationship, find the things you like in everyone you meet, that will help find yourself, and realized the things that are important to you. And when the time comes for you to settle down, you will know what kind of woman it is you need. All women will put a dent in our lives, but it is up to you to deside if that dent harms you or will that dent just add more character, more experience. That way the next dent wont be so big. Learn from your past and let your past mold your future. I say, keep her in your mind, it was fun while it lasted. Hold on to moment like that. It's the bad times you want to forget. Everything happens for a reason, if you can't understand the reasoning, give it time, you will understand. Meanwhile enjoy what's out there, there are so many cultures, so many countries, and know there are so many interacial youths that are just adding more fun to this world. What a great planet!! Link to post Share on other sites
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