AnotherSadSong Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 I have taken this from my little journey of facing the realities of an affair. This is my take from reading various sources and jotting down a list of all the negative truths. I understand some may disagree, but this is how I see the married man: Cheaters often have two personalities. One person is thoughtful, loving, and responsible and the other is self centered, impulsive, and barbaric. Most are not sociopathic, but this is why they appear sociopathic. They have black and white thinking. They see themselves as all good or all bad. They experience their good selves and bad selves as TOTALLY disconnected. Their good sides provide love and care to their family and their bad side gives very little to the OW. They detach themselves from reality to avoid any thoughts or compassion toward their acting out and the consequences of what they are about to do. They are then able to play an actor's role and avoid true intimacy and bonding because none of it is real. The morph in and out. Beast to man....man to beast. By gaining this truth understanding, it has helped me to see clearly how utterly disgusting this was. It was not a passionate love story. It was stuff made of nightmares. They are not loving us or looking out for us. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
casey.lives Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 cheaters are cheaters. Link to post Share on other sites
ladydesigner Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 AnotherSadSong I totally agree not only is the relationship with the AP the furthest thing from love so is the relationship with the BS during the A. I don't think either gets true intimacy. Maybe in rare cases with OW who ended up with their MM, but even some of those relationships fail exactly the way they started. The problem is and always will be with the WS. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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