darkmatter36 Posted July 8, 2015 Share Posted July 8, 2015 (edited) Hello everybody, I would like to share my current situation. There is this girl at work who has been obviously flirting with me ever since we met. The only problem is she reads, but doesn't respond to my messages on Facebook and sends me mixed signals. One day she'll be super quiet and the next she will be all over me. I've known her for like 4 weeks and don't see her that often because we have opposite work schedules but I will describe to you what I have observed so far and whether I have a shot or not. From what I've seen though I'm getting mostly positive signals. Positives: -She touches me all the time. This includes my face, back, shoulders, and arms. In addition, she pushes her boobs up against me when she talks to me. It's not like she has big boobs or anything but she goes out of her way to stand as close to me as possible. This has happened on several occasions. When she came back from the bathroom once I asked if she washed her hands and she said (jokingly) no and that she was going to rub them all over me. It seems like she always finds an excuse to touch me and stand extremely close to me. -Eye contact. I mean like prolonged eye contact. When she met me for the first time and a few times after that her eyes just light up and she always looks directly at me when she is talking. She always looks deep into my eyes but sometimes she will avoid eye contact and become super shy. Hello everybody, I would like to share my current situation. There is this girl at work who has been obviously flirting with me ever since we met. The only problem is she reads, but doesn't respond to my messages on Facebook and has been sending me what I have concluded to be mixed signals. One day she'll be super quiet and the next she will be all over me. I've known her for like 4 weeks and don't see her that often because we have opposite work schedules but I will describe to you what I have observed so far and whether I have a shot or not. From what I've seen though I'm getting mostly positive signals. There is also the slim possibility that she is leading me on just to tease me or for her own enjoyment, but personally I don’t think this is the case. Positives: -She touches me all the time. This includes my face, back, shoulders, and arms. In addition, she pushes her boobs up against me when she talks to me. It's not like she has big boobs or anything but she goes out of her way to stand as close to me as possible. This has happened on several occasions. When she came back from the bathroom once I asked if she washed her hands and she said (jokingly) no and that she was going to rub them all over me. It seems like she always finds an excuse to touch me and stand extremely close to me. -Eye contact. I mean like prolonged eye contact. When she met me for the first time and a few times after that her eyes just light up and she always looks directly at me when she is talking. She always looks deep into my eyes but sometimes she will avoid eye contact and become super shy. -Laughing and smiling constantly around me. She always smiles when she looks at me and gives me nicknames such as “pumpkin” and “sugar” in a playful way. She also laughs a lot more when I’m around. On the other hand, there are also times when she is super serious and quiet, and I have to initiate the conversation. Or she will pretend that I’m not there. -What she has said. I mentioned the hands all over thing earlier. But she has also casually slipped things into conversation like “you turn me off” (sarcastically), calls me super suggestive nicknames. I told her my nickname what the Rocket in high school and she started calling me p**** rocket haha. She also wants me to wait for me because I go somewhere like on break or something. And for no reason when she looks at me she will start smiling. When I first met her she was consistently smiling but recently she is hot and cold. -She has whispered in my ear several times. And when she talks to me she always leans in. -She has talked about her personal life to me. -There are other positives, but mostly just body language stuff I’ve picked up on and the way she looks at me. No girl has ever looked at me like that before. Negatives: -Besides the few first messages, she reads, but doesn’t respond to a single one of my messages on Facebook. Unfortunately yesterday I made kind of a bad decision to be honest about how I feel through a fb message. I regret the decision, but it is interesting to note that even though she doesn’t reply to these messages, she acts like everything is normal in person. -I asked her friend to talk to her for me (bad decision) and apparently she tells me that I have been taking it the wrong way and the girl likes someone else. I’m not sure whether I want to believe this or not because of how up close and personal she has been when I work with her. -The only other negative is that she becomes distant (besides the facebook messages) sometimes in person. But then the next day she will be flirtatious. This especially happens when it’s just the two of us, but she will also flirt around others without hesitation. Sorry this post is so long, but I hope will guys will take some time to read it and provide some helpful advice. It’s been driving me crazy and I don’t know whether I should make a move tomorrow if I’m alone with her after work, be aloof and bold, or just ignore her because of the awkwardness that exists due to the rejected facebook messages. Thanks! I’m a 22 year old male by the way. Edited July 8, 2015 by darkmatter36 Link to post Share on other sites
lolablue17 Posted July 8, 2015 Share Posted July 8, 2015 Have you thought about the option to ask her out? Link to post Share on other sites
Author darkmatter36 Posted July 8, 2015 Author Share Posted July 8, 2015 I already did, over Facebook. She never responded. I probably need to do it in person Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted July 8, 2015 Share Posted July 8, 2015 I think she likes you a bit, but isn't overly interested. I don't think she would totally ignore your messages if she liked you the same way you like her. If she likes someone else, she might be flirting with you as an ego boost when she doesn't get attention from this other guy. I would back off her completely for now. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted July 8, 2015 Share Posted July 8, 2015 Your three big mistakes here in order of offense are: 1. Talking to her friend about her. 7th grade has been over for a long time. Never do this again with any woman. 2. Asking her out over FB rather than in person 3. Thinking FB matters. If she likes somebody else, I wouldn't bother asking her out. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author darkmatter36 Posted July 8, 2015 Author Share Posted July 8, 2015 I agree. Probably backing off at this point is the best course of action to see if she starts to pursue me. Link to post Share on other sites
Space Ritual Posted July 8, 2015 Share Posted July 8, 2015 Sounds like she is in or at the beginning of the end of another relationship and she is testing the waters with you to see if you are a suitable replacement for her current BF or FWB. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted July 8, 2015 Share Posted July 8, 2015 I agree. Probably backing off at this point is the best course of action to see if she starts to pursue me. You do understand that because she likes somebody else, she is not going to pursue you, right? Link to post Share on other sites
Darren Steez Posted July 8, 2015 Share Posted July 8, 2015 She pushes her boobs on you but you ask her out on facebook and ask her friend to ask her out for you? What are you 15? She reads but doesn't respond? So why keep sending messages? Don't you talk at work..I don't mean flirt or whatever it is you do, I mean really talk..it doesn't seem like it. Seems she yanks your chain, then you go home and write up thesis on her motives and on her facebook, while she's doing whatever she does. This already seems doomed. Girls like a chase, she knows she has high interest so she does what she does to maintain it, but she gets bored sometimes and when she needs an ego boost, yanks your chain again. Ask her out in person. She says no and still does all those things she does, then she's just a tease. Link to post Share on other sites
Lois_Griffin Posted July 9, 2015 Share Posted July 9, 2015 Wow, I was going to ask what grade you two kids were in when I saw you were 22. Jeez. Look. She's a tease. She enjoys getting a rise out of you. She's not interested in you, she's TOYING with you. You're too painfully shy and passive and that just makes you a target for her games. Ignore her. And no, she's NOT going to pursue you - unless you do a complete 180 and turn into a confident, self-assured male. Link to post Share on other sites
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