I need some help and advice.

[Sam]

My girlfriend and I were kissing on the sofa. We kissed intimately, after touching her breast I tried slowly to get into her shorts to touch her private part but she kept pulling my hands out and i was only able to touch some of her pubic hair. After that, I stopped and appologized to her then after a few more kisses she asked me shyly if she could touch my penis and I agreed. She unbuckle my belt and unzip my pants and pull my penis out. We kissed again while she plays with my penis then I asked her to kiss my penis and she did. I then asked her to give me a blow job and she did. After that, I asked her if I could touch hers and make her come. I keep convincing her but to no avail. She kept telling me she doesn't need to feel it and just lets me touch hers with her shorts on.

 

The next morning we talked about it, including sex. She asked me if what she did was grossed and I constantly assured her that it's not. I then asked her why she wouldn't let me touch hers or let me take a look at hers. I even asked if she just didn't trust me. She just told me that she's afraid that it might hurt and if she let me take a look at hers it's like we're close to making love already, so I asked her what's wrong with it and if she didn't feel like making love to me. She told me she's a bit curious about it(sex) although she prefers not to do it and she just told me that the ONLY reason is because it might hurt for several days, just like what her cousin felt when she did it with her bf the first time and still felt pain during the 1st five days and she's afraid she might crave for it once she did it. I told her that different people have different body but she still don't want to do it and asked me not to convince her anymore and I politely agreed. By the way, she's inexperienced and a virgin.

 

My questions are:

 

- How come she want's to look and play with mine and even gave me a blow job but she refused when I asked to see hers?

 

_ Is it normal for her to asked if what she did(blowjob) was grossed or not?

 

- Should I believed her that her only reason was she's just afraid that it might hurt for several days and also she might crave for it? or is there any other possible reasons?

 

- Since I politely agreed when she asked me not to convince her about touching her private part or making love again, should I appologized to her for convincing her?

 

- Since I readily agreed for her to touch my penis and she even gave me a blow job when I asked her but when it's time for me to look and play with her private part she refused no matter how hard I convinced her and talked her into. Is she just selfish or just playing games with me?

 

I'm really confused. I hope someone could give me some help, advice and some insight on this. Thanks a lot.

[Tony T]

My questions are:

 

- How come she want's to look and play with mine and even gave me a blow job but she refused when I asked to see hers?

 

She clearly told you. I mean very clearly. She has anxiety about the pain of intercourse and is afraid that you seeing hers will lead to your touching it and things will progress to a point that she does NOT want. After all, touching yours lead all the way to oral sex. A lot of couples don't get into that for a very long time.

 

_ Is it normal for her to asked if what she did(blowjob) was grossed or not?

 

There is nothing normal or abnormal when it comes to sexual exploration between a couple as long as they don't hurt each other. There is nothing unusual about this at all.

 

- Should I believed her that her only reason was she's just afraid that it might hurt for several days and also she might crave for it?

 

This is very believable and is most likely exactly what it's all about.

 

or is there any other possible reasons?

 

There could be other more minor reasons but the bottom line is she HAS THE ABSOLUTE RIGHT to call the shots. If you can't have the patience, you can attack her and go to jail for 40 years or you can find another girlfriend who may not be a virgin or who may be more receptive to intercourse.

 

- Since I politely agreed when she asked me not to convince her about touching her private part or making love again, should I appologized to her for convincing her?

 

Not at all. After all, she asked you to remove your pants and things went quite a way. No apology necessary here.

 

Have some patience with this girl. She has some very reasonable anxieties that will eventually go away. If you get into a conversation with her again about this subject, just assure her you could wear a condom and be very gentle with her. Also, let her know you would stop if there was too much pain.

 

I think if she takes a poll, most ladies will tell her the experience may have been a little awkward, but the pain isn't all that terrible for most. It's something that all women who want to enjoy intercourse during their lifetime must endure once.

 

But each female must be absolutely ready psychologically and must feel it's the right time and feel they are with the right person. Do not try to take this away from her. Be kind.

 

- Since I readily agreed for her to touch my penis and she even gave me a blow job when I asked her but when it's time for me to look and play with her private part she refused no matter how hard I convinced her and talked her into. Is she just selfish or just playing games with me?

 

I think I've already answered that question. Hey, you got some seriously great benefits out of this thing. You got a lot more out of it than she did. YOU are the one who's being selfish by wanting even MORE. You sound like it's some kind of high honor for her to give you a blow job.

 

No, she's not playing games with you. She's exercising her right as a woman and a human being by making important determinations about important functions of her own body. She has the absolute and exclusive right to decide when she's going to do whatever with her body.

 

You benefited tremendously by all this and you call her selfish? If you want to be the guy she loses her virginity to, you will have to learn more about human relations and about what is selfish. If I refuse to let you choke me or pinch me, am I being selfish? Think about it.

 

I hope you will become more sensitive and understanding about the rights of other humans. People do not exist to give in to your desires and timing. People have feelings and rights which must be honored.

 

Just because you are willing to take your pants off at the snap of a girl's fingers doesn't mean she has the obligation to do the same for you in return.