lollipopspot Posted July 9, 2015 Share Posted July 9, 2015 I figured, her career notwithstanding, she can at least be employed for minimum wage. It sounds like she was the one to stay home and raise the 3 kids. I think women - and men - who become homemakers REALLY need to think about this if they want to have kids and stay home with them (which I still think is the best thing for young children): you could find yourself in your 40s and beyond being a Walmart greeter, if you haven't worked outside the home in 20+ years - and that seems acceptable to your former family. I'd tell people to plan for the future independently - and don't have kids unless you have a good plan in place or are willing to be working a minimum wage job in middle age or later (with all that entails, which generally isn't pleasant, as people age). Link to post Share on other sites
Author m0fugga Posted July 9, 2015 Author Share Posted July 9, 2015 Very cool. The $7,540 was 50% of her income (presumed to be minimum wage at $15,080/year). That's just the federal minimum wage. Not sure what FL is. 30% is a reasonable offer. Two things to think about: 1. Term: how long? 2. Recalculation: you might have. I was going to offer 30% for 21 years which was the length of our marriage keeping in mind that under FL law she could qualify for permanent alimony. I'm definitely on board with your recalculation comment and plan to make sure that's worked into the deal. I just hope she's willing to be reasonable about this. I'd even consider going up a bit more to keep the attorneys out of the picture, but there reaches a point when spending $30000 on attorneys now could literally save me 100s of thousands of dollars in the long term. Link to post Share on other sites
wizer Posted July 9, 2015 Share Posted July 9, 2015 The other thing is you want some of this to apply to your income as well. If your income declines, then the amount you pay goes down. But, here's the thing, if your income goes up from current levels, the amount you pay stays the same. She should have no expectation to benefit from future windfalls or success you might have. How can you expect her to agree to no expectation to benefit from future successes while she is being expected to agree to a downward modification if he has misfortune? Link to post Share on other sites
Tayla Posted July 9, 2015 Share Posted July 9, 2015 I was going to offer 30% for 21 years which was the length of our marriage keeping in mind that under FL law she could qualify for permanent alimony. I'm definitely on board with your recalculation comment and plan to make sure that's worked into the deal. I just hope she's willing to be reasonable about this. I'd even consider going up a bit more to keep the attorneys out of the picture, but there reaches a point when spending $30000 on attorneys now could literally save me 100s of thousands of dollars in the long term. Get an attorney to draw up the guidelines . Did you know the following: She gets her medical paid by you! she gets your stocks, your retirement 401k. So before you toss around figures or even Think that your being fair, there is nothing fair in alimony support. Keenly, I'm with ya on this one. With more women or both working alimony should be temporary and never permanent. A pre nup would have helped on this...one flat amount and.,. done! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author m0fugga Posted July 10, 2015 Author Share Posted July 10, 2015 Get an attorney to draw up the guidelines . Did you know the following: She gets her medical paid by you! she gets your stocks, your retirement 401k. So before you toss around figures or even Think that your being fair, there is nothing fair in alimony support. Keenly, I'm with ya on this one. With more women or both working alimony should be temporary and never permanent. A pre nup would have helped on this...one flat amount and.,. done! Well I have included in the expense worksheet healthcare premiums (I assumed that's what you were referring to). I don't have stocks or a 401k or any real assets since we had filed for BK back in 09 during the downturn and haven't had the opportunity to build anything back up. We rent and don't have any real assets. Our children are all 18 or older so the only real issue here is alimony. I don't want to pay an attorney $12K (actual price I got) to do something, hopefully, a mediator can help us with for $2K. Link to post Share on other sites
Tayla Posted July 10, 2015 Share Posted July 10, 2015 ok. Then ask how much she is going to pay you for alimony. That seems fair:) An attorney can draw this up under 2k. Although like I said, I dont think you are understanding the lock in and future ramifications. know how deep and shark infested the alimony idea is, and wear a life jacket. Get a professional opinion. Link to post Share on other sites
Author m0fugga Posted July 10, 2015 Author Share Posted July 10, 2015 ok. Then ask how much she is going to pay you for alimony. That seems fair:) I think that's sarcasm, no? Link to post Share on other sites
Rockdad Posted July 10, 2015 Share Posted July 10, 2015 I feel for this guy. I as many have lived this dream. If I had a do-over I would have gotten a tougher atty in the negotiation stage and not have been Mr nice guy. She got a monthly check, enough she didn't have to work, we took care of the kids and all expenses and here is what I didn't see coming... Her hand was always out for more. Link to post Share on other sites
Author m0fugga Posted July 10, 2015 Author Share Posted July 10, 2015 OP, congrats on trying to keep it fair and balanced, and trying [both of you] to avoid feeding the dogs [lawyers], and keep that money for your kids. I'm sorry Radu, I didn't see this when I read your post before. Thank you for saying so and I hope my wife and I can work this out without have "loose the hounds". Link to post Share on other sites
Author m0fugga Posted July 10, 2015 Author Share Posted July 10, 2015 Her hand was always out for more. How so? Via the court or just one on one? Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted July 13, 2015 Share Posted July 13, 2015 Yeah, if we go by those numbers, the alimony hardly seems fair. I mean, if we go by the OP's numbers, they make about 100,000 a year. Someone already calculated the amount of alimony to be about 4000 a month which works out to be 48000 annually. But, the OP also stated that she just got done with a training course for a job and even if she makes minimum wage, he speculates she would make a minimum of 1400 a month. That's an additional 16800 a year. So, she would make 64,800 and he would make 52,000 But, the judge may order the OP to keep his wife on his health plan until she could establish her own. So, deduct a little more from his. And if she gets hired on above minimum wage you can add onto hers. Unless I'm doing the math wrong, that's not equal. Unless she sits on her ass and not do anything and you can live a good single life on 48,000 which is very doable. Link to post Share on other sites
Rockdad Posted July 14, 2015 Share Posted July 14, 2015 How so? Via the court or just one on one? One on one. The ex, a very 'expressive person' took on a personal role of entitlement. Average person would think I just should have told her a simple "No." However nothing is simple when there are kids stuck in the middle. Link to post Share on other sites
NoLeafClover Posted July 15, 2015 Share Posted July 15, 2015 Single & never married 29 yr old guy here...taking notes Wish you luck. Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted July 15, 2015 Share Posted July 15, 2015 m0fugga, how did the meeting go today? Link to post Share on other sites
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